Please tell me there's hope...I keep asking "what the hell have i done??"
Since i posted on the 16th, I have changed my avatar, I have been in the hospital. Surgery the 12th, home the 14th and hospital the 17th. I feel absolutely horrible! Worst in my life. Apparently lactose intolerant. I told u I was having diarhea and vomiting my medications. Well since I got here i have eaten nothing but jello and water with a little applesauce. I am wasting away. Today is the first day i received lactaid and some protein. I am having trouble keeping my pills down and just keep wondering "what the hell did I do".
Please tell me it gets better, I am so depressed, I wish I could undo this. I really need some support from somewhere. My husband is the only one who knows I had this done, because i did not want the lecture from everyone. i figured when i was doing well i would tell. Now i am having to lie about being in the hospital again, and they would surely lecture now.
The highlight of my day is not crying. please tell me someone else went through this. i feel like this is hell. My mental status is in the pooper.
was also wondering if there were any other support groups in the area except the one in Bridgewater on monday? does bridgewater do every week or once a month? I would like a list of where i can go close to middleboro if i ever get on my feet.
hey there -
so sorry you are going thru this. my advice to all preops (and sadly i never told you beforehand) is that the frist 3 weeks are going to SUCK SUCK SUCK! i knew that going in and was prepared for the worst - and it was. i had to be readmitted 10 days out for pain control (finicky anastomosis) - it was horrid and i never thought i would make it thru. it really is one sip, one hour, one day at a time. keep your eye on the prize - you will never regret this decision - trust me. i didn't tell anyone either - but they are eventually going to know - i really didn't think i would have to fess up, but i did - only because the weight loss is so drastic.
the other bit of advice that i hope helps (and no one ever told me) is that you are going to have stalls - maybe once a month, they are frustrating, you will think you are doing something wrong or that the tool as stopped working - then you drop again. just know this will happen, you will think you are going to go nuts - but it is fine and the weight will come off!
hugs and hang in there - we have all been there!
k
so sorry you are going thru this. my advice to all preops (and sadly i never told you beforehand) is that the frist 3 weeks are going to SUCK SUCK SUCK! i knew that going in and was prepared for the worst - and it was. i had to be readmitted 10 days out for pain control (finicky anastomosis) - it was horrid and i never thought i would make it thru. it really is one sip, one hour, one day at a time. keep your eye on the prize - you will never regret this decision - trust me. i didn't tell anyone either - but they are eventually going to know - i really didn't think i would have to fess up, but i did - only because the weight loss is so drastic.
the other bit of advice that i hope helps (and no one ever told me) is that you are going to have stalls - maybe once a month, they are frustrating, you will think you are doing something wrong or that the tool as stopped working - then you drop again. just know this will happen, you will think you are going to go nuts - but it is fine and the weight will come off!
hugs and hang in there - we have all been there!
k
omg K, u r so honest. it is so good to hear the truth and not all this, you will feel great, look great, more energy, just a little tired after surgery, some people are up and walking a mile in 2 days......all crap....I was told all crap. All I had to do was drink water and protein and walk.. that's it! My ass it is. I have nausea, vomiting, diarehea, bloating, depression, constant crying spells. nobody told me that. And my wonderful husband says "I told u not to do it". god help me. Please let me see the day i say it was worth it.
javanomor
on 5/22/10 5:45 am - Worcester, MA
on 5/22/10 5:45 am - Worcester, MA
Tell hubby to rub your feet with sweet smelling lotion. Tell him you did it for you not him. It's all about you for once in your married life. Make him rub those feet 2X a day at least.
Hang in there. I told my husband when I have my surgery he's going away with the kids for a couple weeks, lol.
Hang in there. I told my husband when I have my surgery he's going away with the kids for a couple weeks, lol.
I'm sooooo sorry no one warned you of the hard parts. It seems you are having it a lot harder than most!
The emotional swings are horrible, and if you are having complications, I assume they are only worse.
I think a lot of us are guilty of forgetting about the hard parts since we do end up feeling so great down the road. When you are in the midst of the depression and nausea, it feels like it will never end. IT DOES.
Hopefully your doctors are getting the vomitting undercontrol and you will see improvement soon!
Keep posting here and on your surgery message board - people want to support you!
The emotional swings are horrible, and if you are having complications, I assume they are only worse.
I think a lot of us are guilty of forgetting about the hard parts since we do end up feeling so great down the road. When you are in the midst of the depression and nausea, it feels like it will never end. IT DOES.
Hopefully your doctors are getting the vomitting undercontrol and you will see improvement soon!
Keep posting here and on your surgery message board - people want to support you!
Read my blog, BARIATHLETE I run because I can.
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
First 5K race October 4, 2009 (34.59) PR 5/22/11 (27:26)
First 5 Mile: January 1, 2011 (50:30)
First 10K: July 4, 2010 (1:03.26) New PR 4/10/11 (1:01.14)
First 10 Mile: April 11, 2010 (1:46.15)
First 1/2 marathon: June 13, 2010 (2:22.21) PR: 5/1/11 (2:17.30)
First Marathon: October 16, 2011: 5:47:20
Goofy Challenge: January 7-8, 2012
If you think you can, you can. If you think you can't, you're right. - Mary Kay Ash
Good morning ! It DOES get better - I think most of us are surprised the emotional roller coaster but ride it out and it will be ok !! I know it isn't as simple as that but......
The Bridgewater group is actually meeting tomorrow - maybe you can make it ? Sounds like you could use us ! We only meet once a month - however you're in Middleboro, and I'm in Bridgewater if you need more support - we can meet sometimes one on one - or get a couple of the area people together and do a little mini meeting - I'm willing !!!
Let me know!
I'm going to message you with my cell phone number - please feel free to call it - if I don't answer it's becaue I'm somewhere I can't - but leave a message and I'll call you back !
Hang in there it's going to get better !!!
Lisa
The Bridgewater group is actually meeting tomorrow - maybe you can make it ? Sounds like you could use us ! We only meet once a month - however you're in Middleboro, and I'm in Bridgewater if you need more support - we can meet sometimes one on one - or get a couple of the area people together and do a little mini meeting - I'm willing !!!
Let me know!
I'm going to message you with my cell phone number - please feel free to call it - if I don't answer it's becaue I'm somewhere I can't - but leave a message and I'll call you back !
Hang in there it's going to get better !!!
Lisa
Highest (that I know of) 285 Weight when I started the process 277
Night before surgery 263 Goal weight 160
Smile ! You'll make the world a happier place !Inspriational video "Strive for Perfection, Settle with Excellence !
OH Support Group Leader
Do you know how far it is to Chelmsford? Our support groups are 3 times a month. 2 of them are for preops and 1 is for postops. I go to both still and recommend going to both. Click here for the list - the next one is Tuesday and it's titled "Defining Sucess" ..it's a good one! I am one of the Ambassadors for the center ...I always have a name tag on (Brooke) so look for me, I'd be happy to talk to you.
Moving along ...this post sounds exactly like something I wrote just a few week's out from surgery. I was seriously so depressed. As crazy as it sounds ..what you are going through is SO normal. Really, it is!! 20 days after surgery I found out that my Grandpa was dieing of cancer. ALL I wanted to do was emotional eat! It was such a hard time and my hormones and everything else was out of whack ..it SUCKED!!
But just wondering who you feel is going to lecture you? As much as I knew this surgery would scare my family ...sharing it with the world was something I felt like I really needed to do - to help people, to inspire them. No one has ever lectured me. Once I made it clear that this was how it was going to be that was it. 99% of the time people are just fascinated. They want to know how it works, what happens, what can you eat, how much you've lost, etc. I have yet to get any negative feedback from anyone ..even strangers. I think you'd feel a lot better if you were more open about it. I started blogging too and find that really helpful. You can even do it without people knowing who you are ...but just knowing peolpe all over are reading and replying to your entries is helpful.
Everything is GOING to get better! I did not feel like myself until I was eating "real" food again which was about 4 weeks out from surgery. This is the sucky part, I know. Once the weight loss kicks in and you are eating real stuff you will feel better. Just think of all the fun stuff you'll be doing this summer with lot's of weight lost. Hang in there!
Moving along ...this post sounds exactly like something I wrote just a few week's out from surgery. I was seriously so depressed. As crazy as it sounds ..what you are going through is SO normal. Really, it is!! 20 days after surgery I found out that my Grandpa was dieing of cancer. ALL I wanted to do was emotional eat! It was such a hard time and my hormones and everything else was out of whack ..it SUCKED!!
But just wondering who you feel is going to lecture you? As much as I knew this surgery would scare my family ...sharing it with the world was something I felt like I really needed to do - to help people, to inspire them. No one has ever lectured me. Once I made it clear that this was how it was going to be that was it. 99% of the time people are just fascinated. They want to know how it works, what happens, what can you eat, how much you've lost, etc. I have yet to get any negative feedback from anyone ..even strangers. I think you'd feel a lot better if you were more open about it. I started blogging too and find that really helpful. You can even do it without people knowing who you are ...but just knowing peolpe all over are reading and replying to your entries is helpful.
Everything is GOING to get better! I did not feel like myself until I was eating "real" food again which was about 4 weeks out from surgery. This is the sucky part, I know. Once the weight loss kicks in and you are eating real stuff you will feel better. Just think of all the fun stuff you'll be doing this summer with lot's of weight lost. Hang in there!
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