Hey all....

 Well...it is finally done...I had my RNY done on tuesday the 11th...I had to go back to the operating room later that day beceause I was vomitting blood....A leak at the anastamosis....but I puller through 

Anyhow....just some crazy feelings post op....wondering if I am aolone in this or what....
I knew my life revolved around food....and I knew it was going to be hard....but the emotions I am dealing with are not what I was expecting.... First being...did I do the right thing...My pain isn't too bad...I am just exausted, I am going stir crazy at home and it has oly been 5 days...I will be out of work like six weeks....I know it will get better when I can do more....but just walkng 45 minutes this morning, a trip to walmart and my daughters dance class wiped me out completely...

Anyhow I think I am a little depressed and thinking what have I done...I risked my life (scary with all the blood I was vomiting....and my blood count being 23)....I know I am babbling bu everyone stands by that they had the surgery....in the first week postop were people shocked at ow the \y were feeling emotionally?
Anyhow any input would be appreciated
Thanks
Julie

Hi Julie

i know how you feel..for me being tired lasted about 3 weeks i just couldnt get it into my head why am i soo tired all the time..rest as much as you can. i had alot of pain for allmost 4 weeks so im glad you are feeling good.  one of my 1st thoughts of what have i done was day 2 at home my family was at the dinner table eating my favorite home made mac and cheese.i wanted to cry
its seems realy silly to me now. i felt like i would never get over my head hunger and what have i done....but realy what have i done  i am off my diabetes meds i stoped using my cpap machine  im feeling great  i have lost 43 lbs
my clothes are falling off .it took time for me to heal and feel good but it will happen know that you made the best decision and in 4 weeks from now you will look back and say wow it realy wasnt that bad..thats how i feel now

 Thanks Lisa...
I know this feeling will pass...but I just never imagind I would feelo this distraught...and it isn'y watching others eat or anything....it is just that sooo.much of my time was spent eating....and planning where I was going to eat...I am left with all this empty time...and to top it off I am exausted...granted I am only like 6 days post op....
Anyhow I am going to see the program social worker to check in....she can always get me regrounded....
thanks again for your thoughts....and your doing an awesome job

Julie:

I'm so happy that you are recovering.

During the first week 2 weeks I had no energy and rested.  I did go out with my Mom on one shopping trip and needed to sit down after walking one aisle and I did take a rest.  It felt like I would never get my energy back.  It just takes more time.  I made sure I got up and walked for 5-10 minutes but that was all I could handle.  After 4-5 weeks I was walking 40 minutes.

During recuperation I read alo****ched tv and talked to people on the phone.  I also had my Mom or husband take me for a car ride just to get out of the house.

Things will get better.

Kerry

Julie and Kerry are both right and make great points !!! I think what you are going through is very normal - the emotions and exhaustion - lets face it - it's major surgery - your body has been through a major surgery ! I think the minimal pain most of us have - is kind of trick - cause we don't feel a lot of pain so we feel like we should be up and going .... but between the surgery itself and the fact that we aren't eating so it's far less energy you're getting in - you're going to be exhausted.

And the emotions .... YES - they are crazy but it should get a little better as you go....... Hang in there ... and remember we are all here for you !

I know emotionally JUST what you are going through, and now I say it's awesome and all. But yeah, those first few weeks I was SO UPSET. I kept telling myself 'WHY did I DO this? Did I REALLY NEED surgery?' I cried a lot. My mom called the doctor and he laughed and said 'Oh, she's in the "what did I do to myself" phase. Don't worry, it'll pass.' That's how normal it is. And I didn't believe that it would ever pass, and it did. Hang in there. At this point, why question it? It's done, and you WILL love it. This is the hard part. This is where you feel all the difficulties and do the most work, and you don't see the results yet. But there's nothing to do now but accept it, and soon you'll be dropping pounds every week and loving it. As HARD as it is, (and I know) you WILL start loving it soon. Anyways, this was a ramble. Just letting you know that you are SO not alone with the emotions thing, and it does pass. There IS a light at the end of the post-op-depression-tunnel! Good luck!