Singles/Dating post......

Ok girls sooo here is my deal...lol


I've been on the online dating site Plenty of Fish for over a year... ( had surgery 7 months ago)
So I updated my pics 2 weeks ago....  I'm getting all kinds of responses from the men since posting those pics...  Was very slowwww prior to then....

Ok sooooo   here is my thinking???    Why now!!!  Ok I know I changed my pics...  But I'm kinda upset  I'm still that same girl from a year ago...  Now because I'm smaller I'm good enough??? I know I should probally be happy,,,, But it makes me sad that I wasn't good enough before....

What's your thought's??  help me get over this please.....

First off ...I have heard that website is not a good one lol.

Second ..I have the same issue! Over the summer when I was out with my girlfriends this REALLY, REALLY hot guy hit on me the entire night - went as far as trying to get me to go home with him. Eh, I don't play that game (lol) ..however it was nice to know that someone thought I was attractive. But then I thought ..I've gone out with my girlfriends a bazillion times and they were always "the pretty ones" who got all of attention! No one ever talked to me, flirted with me ..heck just ordering a drink was a ridiculous wait.

SOOOOO what can we do??

I guess ..just remember you were always good enough! And most of those people probably don't know the "old" you. Let's face it ..we all have our attractions - skinny, heavy, long hair, short hair, blonde, brunette - so whatever it is about these new pictures people like! 

I think it's natural that the smaller you get the more attention you'll get... right, wrong, or indifferent.  I also think it's natural to be hurt and upset by this truth.  When you do meet people, I wouldn't lead with the WLS, but after a couple of dates maybe bring it up and have pics to make it more real.  You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat "different" people, in our case, our difference is we were heavier.  My concern would be how would they treat loved ones.. your kids, your family (parents, siblings, etc) if they had some "difference" sometime.  Whether it's weight or another medical condition, people have to be empathetic and supportive, not judgemental and dismissive.

Keep on trucking and try to keep that head up!  I'm sure it's unnerving dating after such a change in yourself.

FWIW, my SIL is like a Barbie, and has the same thing happen when she changes her pic on those sites.. she thinks it's her nose (there's NOTHING wrong with her nose, btw!).. everybody has their own insecurity.  Maybe the new pic is just something fresher/newer or brighter or who knows.  Maybe you just look happier?  Time to weed out the duds! 

Oh, do i feel you!!!!!!!!!

Let me take you back 3 years ago when i found out that more than 1 of my exes were chubby chasers.  I was so furious that they liked my fat first - and then maybe the rest of me.  I felt like all the years I spent being smart, funny, clever, interesting were for WHAT??

Now, turns out, I feel the exact same freaking way!!!!!!!

Sometimes I use this for evil...I've used a few guys just cuz they thought i was hot and I knew they wouldn't have given me the time of day before.  I had the power and they had the money to pay for our dates. :)

Whatever the case may be - they like me fat, they like me thin, they like curly hair, or pretty finger nails, I can't control NONE of it.  

What I CAN control is that I give them a full helping of my personality, which they have to deal with before they can get their hands on my body.  If they're only after one thing, they're gonna give up when i don't hand it over real quick.  Worst thing that happens to me if I waste a few minutes spent texting, talking or a having a drink.

Sue, if I find you a really great guy here in NJ can you move here please??? I need a GBS friend here!!

I know this is an older thread that I am just seeing now but maybe you will see this...
I am married so I don't date but I work in a prison and the majority of staff is men... anyway, I was soooo angry with all the 'sudden attn' that I was getting... the smiles, the door holding, the offers, the emails, etc... I couldn't help but think "damn! These are the same guys that wouldn't have noticed me if they had tripped over me before!!!"  So I was angry, hurt, kind of *****y... then a particularly good friend who happens to be a guy said "do you look in the mirror and like what you see now more than you did before?" of course!!! he said "why are you angry with people for feeling the same way you do? They don't even have the benefit of knowing how wonderful you are on the inside, YOU DO! So knock the damned chip off your shoulder, and enjoy what you have worked so hard for, smile, be your beautiful self... that anger will make you ugly."

Best advice anyone ever gave me!  Hope this helps you see this from a different angle?

OMG!!!!  You brought tears to my eyes.....  That is awesome advise... funny how sometimes our brain needs to be re-programed...lol 

I will show off my hott-ness and except it...  make all the boys jealous that they can't have me because I have the sweetest bf ever and I'm all his!!!! 

Thanks soooo much for sharing!!!!