Lowered expectations.

I recently started a Facebook group - the Bariatric Bad Girls Club (non discriminatory - there are boys and a couple of surgeons!) and we have had a couple of totally non-scheduled random chats on Stickam (please join and be ready to chat?)  

Last night we chatted.  We were discussing lots of things, but at one point, about expectations after weight loss surgery.  

What did we expect -- what happened -- did you expect the unexpected -- are you holding out for some unrealistic expectations?  

(This is a topic that could be discussed at length, and last night after audio difficulties and a complete room freeze, we lost connection at midnight.)

It was noted that sometimes newbies at weight loss surgery, and those still in the honeymoon stage have set themselves up for a Serious Letdown when it comes to expectations.  

A lot of us go into this here thang thinking "COMPLETE WEIGHT LOSS WITH NO DIFFICULTY!" only to be left with a laundry list of difficulties, and sub par weight loss.  

It was also discussed that newbies have Grand Notions about these things -- and often try to Skool WLS Grads -- about how things should be done.  And, it seems that it isn't until about ... 2+ years later that those folks come around.  It's not that grads want to shoot down pre-ops or honeymooners Unicorns, but...it's pretty inevitable that they fall anyway.

I've heard that at some pre-operative weight loss surgery groups (even in hospital settings) -- WLS grads aren't allowed to share.  

They're asked not to share the reality of what happens after that first 9-12 months.  O-o  (This doesn't surprise me in the least, however, I've been to meetings, and gagged my way through them.)  

People with severe, life-threatening complications directly from WLS are sometimes coerced not to discuss.  "You don't want to scare people."  

One example of a VERY SIMPLE AND OBVIOUS QUESTION THAT IS NOWHERE NEAR SCARY -- a relative newbie -- "Can you eat a normal diet now?"  

We say, "Pretty much,"  "Within reason," "A lot more than we never thought possible, however," and freaking ensues.  

"You're scaring me. You shouldn't be able to eat a whole XXX or a XXX."  

But, most of us long term post ops, can, and most of us have either already regained (once, twice, current, will again) dieted or struggle with keeping calories low enough to avoid regain.  Some, even have to restrict too low, just to avoid gain.

If the honest answer to a simple question like that is so scary -- what about the deeper issues?

Should we avoid telling the truth?  Or should pre-ops be given a little bit more reality to avoid killing the unicorns?

And, why do we avoid these issues?