Missing Maxi-Me

I'm going through some kind of adjustment period, I think.  It's really starting to hit me now -- this is me, I'm small.  What's really strange is having some ambivalent emotions.  Saturday night, I was ou****ching BF play at a club (he plays Blues).  There were several attractive but also very overweight women there that were very curvy.  They were dancing and having a great time.  I used to look  a lot like them; and somehow, I felt sort of sad to be so small.  I still have curves, but my butt has flattened out quite a bit, and I'm feeling more like a little girl than a woman.  You would think I would be looking around and thinking how hot I am; instead, I'm feeling inferior!  I sure don't want to get fat again, but I'm sort of in mourning for the body I used to have.  I never really hated myself, or my body -- just wanted to be healthy and look better.  And I am -- so why do miss the maxi-me?  And on top of that, yesterday I went shopping for a dressy dress for a dance party.  It became quickly apparent to me that I can NOT wear sleeveless clothes if I have to lift my arms.  I look like a freak - teeny little arms with 5 inches of flab hanging off them!  When my whole body was big, my arms were in proportion - I was big all over.  I guess I will have to get ps done on my arms.  I should be grateful and happy to have this gift of health, and I am - but - I don't know, I guess everything takes getting used to - even good changes.

I think your feelings sound very normal.  We all go thru that whole body image/adjustment thing.
I loved the curves I had, but they are even better now.  Im healthy, feel good and all the other wonderful things that go along with it.

I know what you mean about the bat wings.  Im experiencing that now, and summer is right around the corner so therefore comes the short sleeves..ugg!!  I will eventually have some plastics as well.  Dr. Lautz told me that when Im ready, he had the name of a great surgeon that specializes in WLS patients, so ask him next time you see him.  We definately have a wonderful physician!

Congrats on your weight loss, your new body and the new you.  You are healthier now and yes, it will take some getting use to.

kim

Thanks, Kim -- I will definately ask Dr. Lautz about the plastic surgeon.  I'm going for a check up next month.  I never thought looking better would take getting used to -- but it does!  Thanks for the encouragement!
Anne-Marie

hi AnneMarie...Many people feel the same way you do. For years they had one body type...extra curves and now they have one look...with some extra wings here and there. The old body type is comforting to know...for you 've had it for years.  Thank the Lord you have lost all your weight..for some people begin to self sabotage...because they want that old comforting person back.
Did you ever write down the reasons why you wanted to have this surgery and loose weight...well pull that list out and review them and .....and keep the list mentally handy when you are with BF at the club!   You will soon remember how harder life was with the additional weight and that this is a better place to be.    It is a very valid topic for support as well.  I will let Seri know to put it on the topic list.
Enjoy the night, Joanie

Hi Joan,
Yes, I agree - it would be a good topic for the support group.  It's good to be prepared and know that having conflicting feelings about the new self is normal.  I feel better just getting the responses and support that it's not so strange.
Thanks for the encouragement!
Anne-Marie

HEY LADIES I TOO KNOW VERY WELL HOW YOU FEEL THOUGH I LOVE THE WAY THAT I FEEL NOW I HATE THAT MY BEHIND HAS GONE DOWN ALOT BUT HEY I AM SO HAPPY TO HAVE MORE ENERGY I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOUR TOOL IS WORKING FOR YOU

Yes, losing my butt has been distressing -- particularly since my BF is a "butt man"!  He's OK with how I look -- wants me to be healthy most of all, but I guess we're now getting to the bottom of why I was feeling inferior at the club!