Long post - need advice

Hey all,
I apologize in advance for the long post, but not only do I need to vent, I also need some feedback & advice.
First the short background:  I've been overweight forever and have done several diets, many of them not healthy.  The healthy one (Weigh****chers) worked for me, but I always gained the weight back.  I've done it about 8 times (5 officially and 3 on my own).  So I thought of the Lapband as a new, final choice to finally get this weight off.  (The frustrating part for me is that I am somewhat an over-achiever and am sucessful in other areas of my life.  The weight-thing is the one thing I cannot get a handle on.)
So my family (mother, brother & sister) are currently doing WW again.  I don't want to go down that route so their nagging is driving me bonkers.  On their Sunday weigh-in day, they all go out for breakfast and I am the subject of the conversation.  This has been going on for a couple months now.  They all think I should do WW again.  They all are against GB because of horror stories they've heard.  "So-and-so is in a wheelchair."  "So-and-so has diarhea everytime they eat."  It goes on and on and on.
My point is that other than the extra pounds, I am perfectly healthy.  These "horror stories" may come from people that are either unhealthy to begin with or do not work the "tool" they way they are supposed to.  I never hear any background of these horror stories, just the end result.
But I am stubborn and will have surgery anyway.  All 3 of them have lost weight on WW before and gained it back.  They most likely will again.
So now it comes to: Lapband vs. GB.  What do I choose?  I changed my mind from Lapband to  GB for many reasons, including faster weight loss, a higher percentage of success and not having to go in for fills all the time.  I have a friend who had GB 5 years ago who is doing great now.  She eats anything she wants, just less of it.  (That's were I hope to be in 5 years, obviously still making healthy choices etc.)
But my husband wants me to have lapband because it's safer.  I have toddler twins and my own accounting busines to think about.  But I read that lapband patients are more likely to need a second surgery.  And what about having that thing in you forever?
So the bottom line is what do I choose?  How do I stop being the topic of everyone's conversation?  How do I know I'll be okay for my kids and husband?
Ugh.....

Thanks for listening...
Lynne

Hi Lynne,

Sorry to hear that your family is not behind your decision for your own health.  I obviously can not make your decision for you, but I can tell you how I made my decision.

I chose RNY.  I chose RNY over lapband because:

I didn't want a foreign object in my body.  The possibility of it slipping.  The possibility of it leaking.  Having to go get fills.  Being able to eat whatever I wanted, and not having the fear of dumping.  (Personally, I need the fear of dumping, sugar was a huge part of my diet pre-op.)  Possibly having to go through surgery again to revise to an RNY. 

There were to many probable possiblities for me, so that is why I chose the RNY over the lapband.

Hope this helps, but please keep in mind that these are my reasons for doing what I did and my opinions.  Take them however you wish.

Good luck in whatever you decide.  Remember you are doing this for your health, not your mother, brother and sister's health.

Go to a support group , go to lapband and then go to GB support group and you can get all the information you need.  It is a start and then research.  That is what I did before I made my decision.  Your family will come around as well, they are just scared for you . 

Hi...I am sorry you are your family's victim right now.  The tide will change. You know it will.

You should go to support group for both surgeries..and not just one..maybee a couple of sessions since the topics and people change.   Then when YOU make up your  mind, bring your family to that support group and you can also bring your family to your doctor appt.

Don't let your families impressions change your mind. It's your body.

Joan

and.. I was a bandster and now I 'm a conversion.   I can freely tell you the upside and downside of the band.....and of the RYN..although I am only 6 weeks out.  Just message me.

Hi Lynne,

I did a Google search of Lap Band vs RNY.... there are several web sites that have information, but this one seems to adress many of your concerns.

http://www.thinidaho.com/index.php?page=debate

Also, when I called my insurance company, there was some doubt if they would pay for Lap Band. I didn't question it because I have decided on RNY.

See you Tuesday

Martha

Thanks to all *****sponded!
I'm feeling better now.  I guess I just need to get these feeling off my ample chest.  I've decided to make my own decision based on what I read online and what I hear in all the support groups.  I'll even discuss it with my doctor when I have my appt. 
I am still leaning towards GB.  I think because I am healthy now, I will be fine as long as I follow all the rules. 
See you all on the other side!
Lynne

hi Lynee,

My sister was really against the RNY surgery. My doctor even offered to speak to her. Then 60 Minutes did a segment on gastric bypass and the long term health effects. It really changed her mind. Here is a link to that segment:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/17/60minutes/main4023 451.shtml?source=search_story

Your family may have different issues since they are dieters. This is their issue, not yours. Welcome to these forums where you get positive support. This is your health and it affects you and your immediate family.

Best of luck,

Jayne

Some things to consider while you go through the process, and just know - they are WORRIED FOR YOU.

My own mother did not want me to have the RNY, because... of the same reasons... and turns out, she was right, but she doesn't throw it in my face.

But, I am a rare case.  Most people are fine.  My husband is pretty healthy and he had a RNY too.  My MIL and SIL both RNY'ed, they are alive (MIL has had complications, but.. she's a magnet for complications)

-Your current state of health.  Are you dying from your obesity?
-Do you have co-morbidities that are begging your attention for drastic life-saving measures?
-Your age in regards to fertility.  Are you having any more babies?  Is that at ALL a consideration?  Sometimes pregnancy post RNY is tricky, it's totally possible, but sometimes tricky.

i know you said that your feeling better and making your own choices. YAY YOU! imean it that's the first step no matter what you choose is making your choice for you.now with that being said I will tell you why i made my decission.

I have been overweight my entire life. I'm sick of being slow. I'm sick of having achey knees. I'm sick of not being able to run with my kids. My blood pressure started climbing up.

I've tried diets even that "healthy one" and i gained the weight back plus more. I needed something more effective long term. I had two friends go through Dr. Gazmuri in newton wellsley. He is an amazing surgeon. Very kind and personable. They had tremendous sucess. I was terrified of surgery All the what if's will drive you crazy. Then i talked some sense into myself. and realized. I have an amazing surgeon. and other than being overweight in general, and having slightly higher blood pressure i was in good health (so the dr. said) my risks where way more minimalized.

So i choose the option that had more sucess rates long term. Although i realized there are things you should never eat again (just like either surgery) because not only is it not healthy it's a slipper slope to fall down. and it's a lot harder to climb than fall.

although still terrified of surgery and freaking out right up untill the time i was no longer conscious lol. I reminded myself of all my reasons for doing this! And my results. AMAZING not a single complicatiion at all.  5 weeks out and I feel great and i'm down 31 lbs since surgery.

and not matter what you choose you can always remember your family is only trying to protect you even if they are doing the wrong thing. Just remind them you want to be around to see the twins go to the prom. go to college, get married, have kids. I have 3 kids the youngest 16 1/2 months . and i still did it. Remind them it's your choice. they don't have to love it. But you would like if they would respect your feelings and just support you through it. after all how much support have you given them through the years?

Hi Lynski,
When I told my mother I was having the surgery she tried desperately to talk me out of it.  She used to call me and tell me about horror stories she heard, the same stuff that your family is telling you.  She works for WW by the way. 
Anyway, I took her to a support group meeting before the surgery. She was able to listen to the doctor and other people having it and she saw those that had the surgery already. It almost instantly changed her opinion.  She was still scared for me to go through surgery, but she became very supportive and had a much better understanding of the process. 

Good luck!