Trying to get a surgery date

This is my first time doing this. I need advice. I started this journey in January and have been doing everything I need. My problem is when I did the psych evaluation I was so nervous that I answered in a way that made it sound like I am a binge eater. I knew I wasnt but agreed to meet with a psychologist. She agreed but because I said I am not a cook and got frustrated with weigh****chers and counting points she feels that I need to keep meeting with her to learn to make better food choices and such. I told her today that I take this surgery very seriously and have been already starting changes and don't want this to put my date in limbo while she waits until she thinks i am ready. So, not a great idea, she is not thrilled but I agreed to keep going afraid not to. Now I am afraid that no matter what I say she will either take it as I am not ready because I am not eating right or if I can eat right and in a structured manner then I dont need the surgery. So, I need some advice on how to handle this situation. Thanks Dianne

Dianne: Can you see another psych?  I had my visit yesterday, had to name the last 3 presidents, recite the months backwards and subtract 100-7.  The appt lasted 10 minutes and was a breeze.  Let me know if you want her name and telephone number, she is in Boston. Kim

HI Kim thanks for the reply. I am not sure if I can do that. I dont want to make waves. This woman is telling me that I have to learn to eat on a schedule, no processed foods only fresh fruits, veggies and meats and keep a log of all of it. She claims once the surgery we can no longer have any processed foods and I believe she was talking even frozen meals. last night i was thinking i would rather be seeing the nuritionist for meal advice and not a shrink. I dont get into Boston much so thank for the offer but I may get back on that one.

I agree with you...I dont think she should be giving you meal advice.  As Ive read on the boards, after you are a year out, there are alot of things you can eat but there are definately foods that some cant for whatever reason.  Im not saying that the counseling isnt a good idea, but I definately would look into getting another consult somewhere.  Besides, she will never know that you sought out someone else.  Giving you nutritional advice is kind of concerning...again, I agree that your nutritionist should advice you on that.. Good luck and I hope you figure out what to do.  Please let me know if I can do anything for you. Kim

Kim..I saw that one too...At Brighams...I guess it is easy to be relatively sane.   My thoughts exactly were " well if I could find  this office in the maze of a hospital I must be somewhat capable!"         Even with that clearance in place I am seeing a local non affiliated psyche for my own benefit...( I know I am a bit nutty...though love that it is not official!)   The ongoing help keeps me focused and on track so as long as the insurance says ok so do I!  Good luck at Brighams  I like everybody so far...I will be with Vernon in November!

I will be doing under in august...i see dr. lautz and absolutely love him..everything has gone well except for basically being beat up during the ultrasound, but otherwise ok! kim

Is your psyche affiliated with your surgeon?  Or did you find her yourself?   If You found her yourself then you might need to educate her about the benefits of surgery.  Just give those amazing regain statistics and she will get the idea.  How 95 plus percent of diet only attempts regain and the surgery patients are more like 50  60  whatever it is...!!!     If she Is with your surgeon then be patient and do what she wants you to...She sees a pitfall and better to deal with that now than after your surgery.     I too was very gung ho to get my surgery really quickly and for a bunch of reasons I have to put it off until November.   I was ticked and devastated but now that the dust has settled I realize everything happens for a reason.  I have the summer to get my eating and brain straightened up a bit .   I am seeing a psyche, journaling my food and trying to choose wisely.  I get some practice time and that is a good thing.  I wish I could get on with it faster but it is indeed my lifelong bad habits and sugar addiction...at least in part...that got me here  and no surgery can turn that around overnight.( Though wouldn't that be the best thing!!!!!!)  I have been assured by my surgeon that I won't be penalized for being good and loosing some weight this summer.  The insurance companies take your intake weight ( surgeons first visit)  as your BMI and whatever you loose on  your own shows them your commitment to the changes so is a great thing.      No big changes happen overnight ...Start now and be patient and honest with yourself and your doctors...It is the best way.     I have been getting better...I just keep thinking the only ones that really know what I eat are me and GOD.   When I know I have done ok and am HONEST WITH MYSELF i feel really good and get happy.  So  show her and yoursaelf that you can be honest, eat right and do what you need to do.   It won't be easy but it will be worth it.   It seems to me we will both be in great shape for the surgery because apparently after that the appetite is gone so we get through the head  hunger and hardest part first...Maybe... Show them what you are made of and be patient with the "date."  Easier said than done I know...but I have just been there... Love and good wishes..Sue " Not everything edible is food!!!"   

Sue, thanks so much for your words of wisdom. she is someone they found so I will keep the journal and do what she wants. I guess I felt that I would be better served working with a nutrionist but if this is the way i have to go then so be it. you are right, losing some weight before surgery is better than not. i too have many reasons for wanting it done sooner than later but later it will be. my bad eating started about 20 yrs ago when i was already 29yr old and never had a weight problem. so now bad habits and like you a very strong sugar addiction besides just wanting what is easy at night is a lot to overcome. So like you I will wait and do what she says for now but I am checking out seeing the hospital nutrionist in a while to get a better idea of meals and such. the psych woman insists i  can only eat fresh foods which in a perfect world is great but at times i have to go with frozen and prepared. so i figure the nutrionist can help with that as well as going over the food plans for after surgery. so thank you again for your reply it was a great help. good luck this summer. Dianne

YOur nutritionist will be a good tool for the changes too...Probably in a more practical way than the Psyche.  I am signing up for some more nutritionist time over the summer too.  I figure whatever I can do to keep a good momentum and move in a healthy direction is what I need to do.      I am going to try to get the food rather regimented and stay REALLY HONEST with myself on what I am eating.   Got to put it in it's place...my stomach instead of my heart.  Food is fuel and I need to use it for that and that alone.    I have been expecting way more from it than it can really provide me.      Just was talking yesterday with my Psychologist about how we always feel like we need to DO ( in my case...EAT) something to get through things.   It is going to be really good for me to learn to just wade through things sometimes ...without eating or diverting my emotions/ issues.  Not something I am real used to.  I think 40 years of pent up emotions have actually translated into about 130 pounds of extra flesh so I have a bit of .." EMOTING ' to do!       Should be one interesting summer..look out!!!     I can say that there is a really great feeling going on here...every day I eat right i feel so much stronger and more positive...starting at last to find out about inner happy days!  Better late than never!!!     I just love these forums for the momentum they help me keep...It is almost impossible to stay negative with all these great people to talk to and so much amazing transformation going on all over the place.   Stick around and we will both get there too.   hugs!! Sue

Suzle, did you have to do a 6 month supervised diet?  My appt with dr. vernon is july 14.  I am hoping that I don't have to wait that long.