Were you afraid?

Hi ladies,

Your fears and concerns are completely justified and understandable. Going through with either surgery is a serious step in taking control over your weight and your life. My suggestion would be to take a sheet of paper and literally write down a pros and cons to each surgery. I did it and RNY was just the right decision for me because I knew I eat my way around the lap-band. I had also heard many stories about people wanting to be converted from the band to RNY and I didn't want a revision surgery down the road. I had my RNY at Tufts NE Medical Center 1 month ago with Dr. Tarnoff. He, his anesthesia staff, the nurses, and the entire staff were fantastic. Dr. Tarnoff was taught by Dr. Shikora, so you are in good hands whether you decide on the band or RNY. It's a hard decision and you should really make it on your own. Think about the way each operation acts as a tool and ask yourself which one will be more likely to help you succeed considering your past history with food. Know that you are doing this to live, not to die. You're in great hands at NEMC. Best wishes!

Thanks drgnfly763 and Stephanie, That was great advice...actually it's almost exactly what Dr Shikora told me. He said to pick the surgery that I feel most comfortable with and that is the one I will have success with. I did a pro's and con's list, but I have this head thing, lol where I always play the what if game and get myself all confused. I did start therapy today and it was with a woman I saw after my mom passed away so we picked up from where we left off a couple years ago. She thinks it might be a fear of "living" not dying. She thinks the fear I am experiencing might be a  form of  self sabotaging!?!?!  She says the weight has become a shield of protection in more ways than I can imagine and when I do go through with the surgery and the pounds come off I will start to see what she means and we wiil work on that stuff at that time. It makes sense to me. Whether my fear is of living or dying, I need to learn  a way to get over it so I  am able to go through with the surgery and begin healing from the inside out. I am going to continue to work with her throughout this whole process beginning to end.

Let me answer your question right up front.  I was terrified!  I was most worried about dying on the table or from complications after surgery.  Neither of those happened. I had my surgery on 12/26/2007 by Dr. Shikora.  You are with one of the WORLDS best programs and Dr. Shikora is an expert at performing WLS -- I think he might be in the top 5 or so docs in the world doing RNY.  So from that perspective you made a great choice going to Tufts. In my case I got past my fears by focusing on what I needed to do...not just checkoff the items on the to do list -- behavior change...check, appointment with nutritionist...check, appointment with shrink...check.  Not for me.  I took it a serious as possible...this was my life and I was going to make sure I did EVERYTHING necessary to have the safest most successful WLS there ever was. I lost exactly as much weight as they asked.  I started an exercise program, I changed the way I ate and more importantly I read everything I could find about how it would be after surgery.  In fact one way I lost the last few pounds prior to surgery was to go on Stage 2 diet for a couple of weeks -- sort of live the life before I HAD to just be sure I could. For me it has all been good and I attribute that to two things...me being prepared and working with a successful and integrated team at Tufts.  My surgery was 65 minutes (not a record, but close), my in hospital stay was 2 days and was out of work for a bit over 2 weeks. So far -- knock on wood -- I have had no problems with any food.  In fact I can eat anything, but continue to make good choices and follow my regiment of vitamins. I too started with the intent of having the band, but after speaking with the team at Tufts, I knew RNY was for me.  Through all of this my wife still believes that I did not need WLS, but since the surgery she has noticed not only a physically different me, but a much more happier person!  She says I'm back to being the guy she fell in love with.  That was nice to hear, but the icing on the cake for me was my 13 year old daughter giving me a hug and saying she can get her arms all the way around me...and she gives me a great big squeeze.  That is why I did this and that's why I'll have the chance someday to walk her down the aisle and get that big squeeze hug and tell her how much I love her. Think about being there for your kids when they get married and have their own kids...makes a lot of the fear disappear...