I got brave today!!!!

Hi...It's been hard not telling anybody except my hubby about my decision...Most friends will gossip it all over or try to talk me out of it.  However today I was in my church study group and we were all supposed to tell the group something they don't know about us.   I just let it out..I am getting the surgery!  Can't believe I did it .  The funny thing is all the people that I would not have felt comfortable telling were not there this morning!   So my secret is out!  Not before we all took a confidentiality pledge though...It feels good to tell and everybody was great!   Sort of a weight off my shoulders..( hopefully it will be off my hips soon too.. Love this forum , friends and everybody have a great day!!!

I applaud you!  I work in a large office and I had decided NOT to tell anyone.  A coworker went out on medical leave and didn't tell anyone why... the gossip was unbelievable.  When she returned, there were so many catty comments like.. "She OBVIOUSLY didn't have her face done!"  etc.  I began to re-think my decision.  All I could think of was.. I'd be out for a few weeks, I'd come back and the people I lunch with would be certain to notice I couldn't eat much... then, I'd start losing weight, and possibly have some hair loss!  What would they conclude??? So, I sucked it up, got brave too, and started telling.  I had lots of people look at me in horror and say stuff like... "You're gonna let them cut you up like that?"  or "People die from that!"... or "Can't you just join Weigh****chers?"  Well, I shared with them the years of consideration that went into my decision and my journey to get to this decision... and it just served to convince me that I was making the right decision. I am now 8 weeks past my surgery and I've lost 40 pounds.  I am so happy with my decision and I've had people secretly come to me for "advice" as they are going through their own process of making decisions about their futures.  I have no regrets about telling.  Even though there are people whom I'd rather not have known...  Good luck to you!  And, I'm glad you shared this with your church group!

Thanks,  It feels good.  I suspect in other areas I will wait and see if I need to afterwords.  I am really grateful to be self employed at the moment...In my old job I am sure it would have been quite the "event. "     I have hardly ever been one to stick up for myself anyway and this is nobodys body but mine!  I am doing what I know will be best for me....Amen ya know!!!!

I elected not to tell anyone other than my immediate family for fear of the negativity.  Now at 8 months post op, when I run into people, they have lots of questions.  I haven't gotten any negative feedback from anyone other than they say don't get too skinny. Good for you though.  Best wishes to you. 

I chose to share with my closest friends and family. Oddly enough... a couple actually showed some jealousy. Get this..!

"Why is it I have to bust my ass at the gym , while she goes and gets surgery? It's not fair. She found the easy way."

Well as we all know... Being obese it's self is NOT easy , for one...two... I have battled multiple health issues in the past (even being hospitalized 5 times in 1.5 yrs). and three... I would never say something like that, not even to my worst enemy. How irrogant and inconsiderate.

Since she has said this out loud to friends, I have yet to talk to her.. but when I come across the day I see her again (and i'm 60 lbs lighter :P) I will put her in her place!

Do I sound bitter? lol

I ended up telling the folks I work with and my friends and family.  I also tell anyone who asks.  I am proud and confident in my decision.  I know it is not the easy way out.  I know how hard I have tried in the past. I do get some folks who tell me that it is dangerous.  I always get some of the "I know someone who had it and they gained ALL the weight back and then some".  But I also get folks who are very supportive, and also very interested.  There have been two other women at my work who have privately sought me out to get a better understanding of my experience.  I do believe that I may in fact help others make their decision and perhaps inspire a few.  It can be tough to hear the negatives.  But I know what I did was the best for me.  I feel 20 years younger, and I am not even at goal.  Life is looking so much more positive for me.  I refuse to let any ignorant comments get me down.  It is their problem, not mine.