DIVORCE

Hi all. After reading Gwen's post, i have decided that it's my turn.  i know it's not a board for cancer or divorce but we all get so much support here.   I had my surgery on January 16, 2007.  As of date, i have lost a total of 91 pounds.  I never thought in a million years that I would be this tiny.  Anyway, my husband was supportive in the beginning.  I always knew my marriage was rocky, but i put it in the back of my mind (always hoping and praying it would get better).  I settled!  anyway, as I started losing the weight, my attitude was changing.  Yes, I was still depressed, but felt that I couldn't take his abuse any longer.  For me, it got worse and worse as the days turned into months.  Finally in September and October, I had asked him to leave the house (which of course he didn't) so I had no choice but to leave myself.  I know it sounds like abandonment, but there's a story that goes behind all of this which I won't get into.  It was not like I left with millions of dollars.  We have no equity in the house, so I went to my mothers and fathers house.  My 14 yr old lives with me.  my 16 yr old lives with him. Two daughters.  Its an ugly situation.  We are split right down the middle.  When he sees my kids he tells them how horrible I look which makes me laugh because I know I look smokin' and hot...lol.  i know that this was the best move and I look forward to starting my new life as a thin person.  

Hi, I think weight issues effect our self esteem and ultimately our decision making.  We stay in jobs, marriages and other relationships that with a bit of confidence we might not stay in.  Having the surgery changes our lives and makes us feel empowered, so we finally stop putting ourselves last and make decisions that are best for us.   Good Luck to both of you and be true to yoursleves, Julie

I hope you can do what's best for you and the kids Hollie.  You've worked so hard to change your life.  No settling at this point... Bets of luck!

Dierdre, How are you?  I had the surg.  Lets walk together - I went through that with my parents at the age of 18 and I completely understand - I can give you alot of perspective from the children's point of view. HUGGGS Chrissy PM me so we cna chat

I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are going through all of this, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that everything works out the way you want it to.  I think with surgery comes a lot of eye opening experiences, some good some not soo good.  I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, you will get through this. All the best Gwen

You are smokin hot.. screw him!! hehehe

I too found that my husband changed more and more as the weight came off.. bottom line he became really insecure and kinda couldn't handle it all. Of course.. he claimed that I changed.. funny thing is that I have (for the better though.. what the heck is wrong with a little confidence anyways?)  but the basics of my soul are pretty intact, I'm still me but just in a different shell now, and if he can't get that then that's his problem right? We separated in July and are actually filing for divorce any minute.. thankfully it is amicable.. we'll probably always be best friends.. another "too long of a story" of why it just won't work. I really tried everything to make it work but when the other person gives up on you.. you just gotta move on.. and, basically he gave up.. period. Now I'm just trying to refute everyone blaming me for all this.. I hate that whole speal "girl lost weight.. thought she was hot **** moved on to greener pastures".. but truly it's not like that at all.. I know it and just have to remind myself not to care about other people's judgements.. 'cause only my husband and I know the real deal..

No one said this would be easy.. I listen to the song "Answer' by Sarah McLachlin a lot.. it's kinda my song to myself and has helped me through the last 6 months. Just knowing the answers are within me.. i just have to keep tapping into them.. lovely..

hope this remotely helps.. you're in  my thoughts

April R 

 

Hey Dierdre,   Sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time.  (Congrats on 91 lbs lost by the way)  As difficult as everything is right now you need to do what is right for you and if divorce is what is right for you then you know what has to be done. Hang in there and keep us up to date on how you are doing. ~Cher

Cher, you are looking fantastic.  Congrats!  It's been a long time since I've seen you.  Hope all is well with you.  I lost the weight slowly but it was steady and it still continues to drop a couple of pounds per month now.   Hope to see you when we all get together for the Non Con in July.