Help, I'm in Panic Mode

Hi there, I don't have my profile set up yet so I'll have to give you a quickie "about me". I would like to have surgery with Dr. Sheldon Randall, I met with him a few weeks ago, I went to the support group this past Thursday (that was great) at LMH, I have my psych appt. and nutrition appt. both set up and my letter from my PCP should be on it's way. Everything has been falling into place nicely. I haven't told many people of my desire to have gastric bypass. My weight isn't something that I usuall talk about to my family or friends. When I decided that I wanted to have surgery I told my husband and my parents. More recently, I have begun to tell some close family members. My reasons for not telling people is that I dont' want to hear "oh, you can do it without surgery or oh, you're not that heavy, or people die from that", etc. It's kinds of like when tell someone your baby name when you are pregnant and hear negative responses. I just didn't want that. I wanted to meet with Dr. Randall and make up my own mind. Plus, my husband is so supportive and excited. Here is my problem.....when people have asked me if I was scared to have this done I said "NO" and I wasn't scared. However, I have made the BIG mistake of reading the memorials on this website. I don't know why I did that. I should have known better. So, I read those then went and woke my husband up to tell him that all of a sudden "I'm scared". I'm sure everybody goes thru these changes during the process but I think I may just need some positive feedback to get myself back on track. Help, I'm in panic mode!!! I don't know my way all around the site yet so I will also include my e-mail... [email protected]. Thanks in advance for any and all advice you can offer. Joanne

Hello Joanne, My name is Peg and I'm from Methuen,Ma. I am going to be having Open RNY Gastric Bypass at Mass General Hospital on November 30th, with Dr. Sheldon Randall! I am very excited and anxious at the same time. However, I am very confident that Dr. Randall will take good care of me. I am 56, 5'4", 275 lbs,BMI 47. I had many fears about having this surgery and telling people about it. I got the same thing....."You're not that big"..You can do it yourself"..."Don't you know it's very dangerous?". But, you know what? I work very hard at being positive about this journey, educate myself and to read only positive articles about this surgery. When talking to people that are negative, I try to educate them on the subject. (very nicely, of course!) They usually see that I am very serious and confident that this is the best thing for my health, and nothing more is said. I have been contemplating this surgery for over 3 years. I finally made the decision to move forward. I want to play and keep up with my new Grandchildren and hopefully add years onto my life! I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. Take care and try to turn your thoughts to lying on a beach in a cute little bathingsuit, looking all healthy and happy! Good Luck, Peg

Hi Joanne I was also at Dr. Randall's support meeting on Thursday at LMH. I had surgery last November with Dr. Randall at LMH. You will be in very good hands with him from start to finish. The feelings you have are totally normal, with any type of surgery there is the possibilities or risks , complications and even death. The death rate is extremely low with open RNY. As long as you are overall healthy and do not smoke your risks are even lower. I became more nervous as my surgery date came closer. I was more nervous about making a life altering lifestyle change than the actual surgery. When Dr. Randall came to see me in the pre-op room my hands were all sweaty that I had to wipe them off before shaking his hand. Everything went fine for me. I had no complications and I was back to work 6 weeks after. I was also like you that I told very few people that I was going through the process. My husband knew and a couple of close friends. I then told my mother after I completed most of the process. Once I had a date I told more of my family members such as my brothers. My mother was very nervous since she did not understand the process. I started out at 5' 5'' and weighted 250 lbs and now have lost 106lbs. This is one of the best choices I have made for myself to life a healthier and happier lifestyle. Your are in great hands with Dr. Randall. If you are going to the November meeting maybe we could meet. Good luck on your journey! Janet

Hi Joanne: I'm still pre-op and having been going to the support group meeting that Dr. Randall has since August of 2005. I think half the battle is deciding this is the right decision for you and then finding the right surgeon, support team and support group. There can be complications with any surgery, not just gastric bypass. The majority that have complications are those that had other health problems. There are reasons that we all have to see the nutri, have a psych evaluation and attend support group meetings. Dr. Randall wants all of us to succeed and he'll give us the tool to do that. The rest is up to us. Talk to Dr. Randall about what your fears are or share them at the support group. Trust me, he'll answer everything honestly. Every question we have is important and it helps others on their way. It's sure helped me. I was terrified to do this with all the misinformation that is out there. Do let fear stand in the way of becoming healthy. The decision is all yours and only you can be the deciding factor on whether this is right for you. My fear is to be able to afford clothes when the weight starts coming off. I've been eating like I'm post op for months to get my head in the right place to move forward. Use the time before surgery to prepare yourself in every way and continue to educate yourself. Most of us have looked on the memorial page and freaked out some. I'll be at the support group meeting next month. There are many of us who have met from OH. Let us know you're there so we can say hello. Email me if you'd like at [email protected]. Hugs, Lorraine

Hi Joanne, First of all congratulations on your decision to have this surgery and more importantly congratulations for choosing one of the best surgeons in the nation..not just my opinion but a medical fact..he has been doing this surgery for over twenty years, with tons of experience.. Next don't listen to anyone either negative or positive you must do what's right for you. Remember this is life changing mostly for the good but you must be willing to follow the rules of eating and health monitoring for life...but the changes in your life will be spectular not only will you look better but you'll feel better and will be able to participate in all that life has to offer comfortably. Everyone is scared and nervous about making this decision.... As far as dying, anyone anywhere can die, are you not at risk now for an early death from the complications of obesity.... I had my surgery a little over three years ago by Dr Randall and don't regret one moment....so much has changed in my life both physically and emotionally. Dr Randal will be there for you both preop and post op..this is a commitment he makes and keeps. If I can be of any assistance to you or you just need someone to lean please email me. Best wishes See you at next month's meeting. If you'd like a "bunch" of us are planning on having dinner somewhere in Woburn or Burlington on November 11th or 12th if you'd like to join us let me know and I'll fill you in on the details as they become more formalized. Rita