For anyone who is married....

*sigh* First, I want to say HELLO to everyone. Its been a long time since I last posted here. It will be 2 years post op Sept. 2nd for me. I have been having my ups and downs. Lately more downs but I wanted to pose a question. I hope its not just me. Although, I wouldn't wish anyone marital problems but the question being, is anyone having marital problems since having the WLS? I suggested one time before marriage counseling but he refused. He didn't think there was a problem. There is major problems. I am going to offer marriage counselling one more time before I go for that big "D" word. I have a 7 yr old and a 3 yr old and I don't want to do this to them but I am very unhappy. My hubby and I were great friends before we married. I wish I could have that back but its beyond repair (in my eyes anyways...hubby would probably say differently) But if you had difficulties since WLS, how did you solve the differences? Some friends have suggested that its him who is having difficulties dealing with my weight loss. The stress from work and home, I have gotten very laxy daisy with taking my supplementals. I haven't taken them for at least, the very least, 3 months. Its not that I don't have them at home. I have fallen off the food wagon and am eating poorly. I am getting discouraged. I was afraid to come back here but I could really use some support or at least some positive criticism (if that makes any sense). But my main question is marital problems since WLS. Did this affect anyone? Erin O'Brien

Hi Erin: Try posting this on the main board and you'll get others that have had similar situations. My prayers are with you. Hugs, Lorraine

Hi Bunny how are you? Sorry to interupt the thread!!! April

Hey there..... doing well. Trying to stay cool in the heat wave we're having. How is everything going for you? Bunny

I can't answer from personal experience, as my surgery will be in August, but my best friend is having somewhat of a "renewal" in her marriage ayear and 110 pounds after the RNY. What I do suspect is that, when we stop using food as a coping tool, and as we become lighter and more self-confident, we start to ask more of life. When I'm eating everything in sight, the recliner and tv are my best friends. I can't even sleep with my husband when I overeat less than 3 hours before bedtime, because of acid reflux. I'm more concerned about the last things you said. (Don't ever be afraid to come back to a place where everyone understands overeating, by the way.) You need to begin taking care of yourself again. Once you are eating well, taking your supplements, and exercising, you will be in a much stronger place to evaluate your marriage and insist on counseling. It's never a good idea to make decisions when you're not feeling well. If your marital problems have come since WLS as you say, it would be good to find what effect the weight loss, or "threat" of it is having on your husband. But mainly, take care of yourself. Barb

I am new here, Erin. But I've "been there, done that." Divorced a couple of times and hopefully have learned from my mistakes. Take care of yourself, physically and emotionally first. Don't make any decisions until YOU are strong and healthy. Ignore the husband (for now) and get counseling for yourself. It's always a mistake to make decisions when you're less than 100%. Blessings. Cat