Failure

I am a complete mess!  I had surgery 6 years ago...I lost about 90 lbs.  My life has been in shambles for the last 4 years and is finally calming down.  I have gained back 25 lbs and feel miserable.  I hate who I see in the mirror and sometimes don't even look at myself.  I do go to counseling but it truly does not help.  My biggest problem is I have basically stopped eating.  I am depressed, sick all the time, look terrible,  my body aches, I could go on and on....I stopped exercising because I have barely enough energy to do what I have to do.  I know that my band is too tight but I just can't even deal with going back to my Dr.  Im terrified that he will want me to start over or something even worse.  I have little to know ability to take time out of work....basically I'm a total mess and don't even know where to begin.  Has this happened to anyone else?  

Thank you all.....I just don't know what to do at this point.

Aside from seeing a counselor, have you considered or are you taking an antidepressant? Your description really sounds like someone in the midst of major depression, so please seek more help that just counseling. And don't be so hard on yourself...even "normal" people gain weight easily during times of stress and emotional turmoil. You NEED to go back and see your doctor because a too tight band really is your worst enemy. Don't try to fix everything in your life at once, but do start first with the important stuff: your health. See your surgeon, and then see someone who can help you with something to better stabilize your mood. Depression is a medical problem and the best treatment for it is usually counseling COMBINED with medication.

I agree with Dev,  don't be so hard on yourself. You are probably feeling weak from lack of protein and not eating. We have all had up and down periods with our weight.  You need to have a small un fill if your band is too tight. The un fill will help you  get back on track. It will allow you to eat more protein and hopefully make you start feeling a little stronger. Your doctor might also be able to help with a medication for depression. Hang in there and take one day at a time.

As the others say. Sounds like your feelings and emotions are out of control. If counselling is not working, then you may need, as Dev says, help from medicines. It is a spiral, you feel miserable, don't eat, feel worse and so on. Maybe medication could hekp you break out of it.

but you say you know your band is too tight. You need to get that sorted out. An overtight band not only stops you eating properly, it can cause lasting damage. 

Best wishes, 

You have gotten some really good advice.  My 2cents is that it can take quite a while to get an appointment with a Psychiatrist as a new patient- about a month.  I would search one out and make an appointment but also see your regular doctor in the mean time.  He can probably prescribe something and the psyc. can follow through.  It does sound like you are in the mists of a major depression (Been there, done that).

So here is your to do list

See surgeon about an unfill (do not be embaressed, they have seen way worse regain than yours)

Make an appt. with a Psychiatrist

See your regular doctor in the meantime.

Best Wishes, and keep us posted on how your doing.

Everyone has given you some really great advice.  I think at this point working out is just too big of a goal at this point.  I think a good thing to do would be to go for a short walk...even if it's just around the block or down the street and back.  It's a start.  Get up in the morning thinking this is the first day I will do something positive and just do it.  Then the next day do it again. 

Eating right or healthy will come after you get your band adjusted and you can eat again. 

Good luck

Thank you all for your responses.  It truly does help.  I've been trying antidepressants for about a year.  One after another with horrible side effects.  I've moved on to Wellbutrin now and truly i don't think it helps.  I know I'm depressed but I just can't break free from it. It's really bad...to the point where forcing myself to work is about the most I can do.    I see a counselor too and it truly does not help.  But I will make an appointment to see my surgeon.  At least its a start right. 

Thank you all so much!