Truce?

Don't shoot the messenger- ah, go ahead! I can take it!

I started on OH about a year before my RNY and I felt sooooo good about the uplifting support and education. I came back (reluctantly because of weight gain), and granted to a different group, but I am shocked by the tone.

The cycle is someone asks for band info, and then a battle ensues between veterans - the band is the devil or its not....the newbie gets lost and stops posting.

Regardless of what anyone thinks about the band, can we call a truce so that people can get moral support? If I had a band, I'd be reluctant to post because of the atmosphere and if I was new, I'd be scared away.

Thank goodness for the young lady who just posted about her 4 year struggles and progress. That's what we are supposed to be about! Sharing our challenges- often psychological- supporting, keeping ourselves accountable.

I'd hate to think that when I get BOB I'll have no support. There's so many awesome people on this board (and lurking). I know your watching lurkers!! Lol

The board has changed a great deal from years past but I don't see it changing any time soon. Those of us who post what others see as negative are telling our own stories of what happened to us. The band is most definately not what we were told it was 6 years ago and we are learning that it does indeed cause serious damage to a lot of people. So we are pointing that out to hopefully help someone from making the same mistake as we did. Hopefully most of us do it nicely but a few are very shall we say rabid about it, they probably have suffered the most and don't want others to suffer the same. The band has been successful for some but for many it has not so we can't support anyone going thru the suffering we have. So the support you are looking for just may not be here but maybe if others like you keep posting maybe it will return but I won't be holding my breath. I do wish you good luck tho with your BOB, some have had great success with it.

Thanks For the balance feedback. Hopefully I will bring balance to the board. I look forward to hearing how people's lives have changed, and the struggle that they go through, and most importantly the victory when they overcome them! Forward progress. That is why people come together.

I also want to add, that gastric bypass isn't what doctors say it is either. Why? Because they haven't gone through it. I was told to eat 50 g of protein a day. I need twice that. I was told to eat a well-balanced diet like the food pyramid. They did that, I would play as much as the day that I had gastric bypass surgery.





I was told that if i lost restriction, it's because I was eating portion sizes that were too large, and stretching my pouch. I measured everything that I ate for years, but I still lost it.





I was in the hospital for no good reason for two days, with gastritis. Never before. Never again. They have no idea why. I totally get that we need to post what are pros and cons are, but I think we need to move past our cons sometimes. I totally get that it is not the intent, but I think that all of the negative stories are hindering people from getting the support that they need in general. Not necessarily the support to get a band, but support about life. About obesity. About the problems that come along with losing weight.

I got my band in 2007 and I have been on this board since then off and on.  I don't think it's any worse now than it was back then.  Just different arguments.  Back then there was poster who called herself a "band practitioner" (in reality she was a nurse with a revoked license) and if you had any problems you must not have been "following the rules".  She had clique following who jumped on anybody that challenged her or dared to drink a protein shake for breakfast. Protein shakes were "against the rules".  Some of the folks that have been around a while will remember the ridiculous battles over protein shakes. 

I wish there was this amount of honest feedback on this board when I was pre-op.  But at that time this board was filled with people talking about what a better choice they made than the rny'ers.  Using terms like "bypass face" to describe the way folks looked after rny.  And talking about how happy they are to have a "tool" that can be adjusted to prevent regain.  Back then nobody had a bad thing to say about the band, and if they ever did it they were sure to qualify it as being "all their fault" for not following the rules; lest the Sandy clique get wind of it.

I really think that OH should make a separate forum for BOB's because it's a completely different surgery.  But I bet if they did that board would not be all sunshine and rainbows either.  No board on this site is.  People just need to learn to take what they need and leave the rest. 

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but it's not that easy. Hopefully people are smart enough to look at all angles before choosing a surgery that is best for them. If somebody has the surgery, however, it is really important that they feel that what they are saying is respected and safe even if they've done something not that great. Even as simple as eating poorly for a day.

If I didn't have something to compare it against, I wouldn't be saying anything here. When I joined the lightweights board a few years ago, they were the most important thing to me ever. I knew other people made bad choices even with their tools, and that they wouldn't say it was okay, but they would understand and say I've been there too. It would give advice on how to make things better. People were paying it forward. Is somebody who had gastric bypass spit up after they ate, they would realize that everybody done that at least once. That there is a learning curve with the surgery. It was a safe environment to share that kind ofinformation.

And if I've gone on too long about this, the short story is, I wanted to post there and talk to people every day. I don't see that that goes on here very often. I'd love to see a change and I will do what I can contribute to it!



As far as having a special board for band over bypass, I don't think there would be enough people on it. There is the revision forum. I find those individuals where I can here and I have private message them. Of course there will be negative stories too! I am not ignorant to that. I want to hear them. I just don't want to focus on them. I want to focus on everything I can do to make myself better.

And remember- not all of us have the option for all surgeries. But all of us have one thing in common- fear of failure. I don't want to exacerbate mine or anyone else's.

 

HA!  I know who you are talking about!!!!  Orphan Annie, right?

I just talked to her via email a couple of weeks ago. She has had a huge change of heart and is no longer a fan ot banding, believes they should be taken off the market, and is no longer selling her CDs. ;o)

Needless to say, I was floored!

I do believe she lost her band years ago but i can't prove that.  I do know she was passing around a prayer list asking for prayers so she could get a revision but that was the last I heard.

Holy Crap!  How did you happen to talk to her?  It would be so interesting to know if she's had a revision.  

 

Wellllllllllllllllll, someone might have sent her a newspaper article showing how much trouble her surgeon was in with the Mexican federales and of course, she was all ears (eyes) and it kinda went from there.

I have to respect the fact that she was very honest about her dislike for the band because as you will recall, NO other surgery type was safe back in the day.  Today she's not singing that tune.

She has actually made a very big turn-around.  Calm, serene, the works.  I hope whatever happened to cause this keeps up.

You just have to know she doesn't have a band anymore.