Misery

It's after 9pm here, dinner was over long ago.  I'm sitting here, tissue in hand, cause I keep regurgitating my dinner.  I chewed.  I cut it into tiny pieces, I ate slowly...it doesn't matter.  My esophagus is so damaged, the food can't get to my stomach.  This truly sucks. 

I'm sorry Steph I know how you're feeling and I wouldn't wi**** on my worst enemy. I think I'm coming up on two years without my band and there are still days that I struggle to swallow my own saliva. Sometimes I have to drink 4-6 ounces of water in order to swallow a teeny tiny pill. I have to forcefully swallow tha****er, in order to move that pill through my esophagus.

Then there are those times ( not nearly as often now ) when my food just sits there until I have no other choice but to throw it up, because it sure as hell ain't going down after 2-3 hours of being stuck in my esophagus. Then I have days where it just feels like food is stuck, and I have a huge lump at the back of my throat. Hurts my back like a MOFO too !

The worst part of it is being told we did this.  I take full responsibility for signing consent, but so much more information is available now.  I hurt constantly, I'm tired of feeling like this.  I just want the thing out of me.

Ya, I love being blamed for this POS band or being told I lost weight, " The Easy Way " I swear every time someone tells me I lost weight " The Easy Way " it makes me want to punch them in the face !

So when are you going to get the POS outta you ?

I sent a message to the PA yesterday about getting the report ASAP.  I had it done at a different hospital, so has to go from special procedures, to my GI doc to the other hospital and my bariatric doc.  Might take till next week.  I think I'm going to get it done on my bandiversary, May 28, what do you think?

I think you should get it the hell out as soon as possible.

Wow hun that is terrible.  That is why I feel I've been lucky with my revision (though things are so nice and easy to eat that I haven't gotten all of my weight off :)  but I would so rather be this way than still have "issues").  I wonder too if it is because I did not get revised in the same surgery as my removal.  Gosh, that sucks.  Damn!  I wish you would have had a full recovery from the band .

Oh man!!!

Have a good weekend.  Hope the wedding stuff is going well.

L

Thank you Zee

I am of the belief that my HMO group, thought I was a malingering drug addict. Remember how I complained for a full year about the burning pain and " Bee Stinging " sensations, as well as the extreme tenderness near my post site ?  Remember how they kept denying me a single visit to my lap band surgeon, based on the fact that, " Due to my weight loss, I was a success, and therefore was denied repeatedly a single visit to be seen by my lap band surgeon. I appealed, and was denied several times for a single visit to be seen by my lap band surgeon.

I even tried to circumvent them by going through the ER department, and my lap band surgeon came in and told me he was not allowed to examine me because " He was now considered out of network " I tried requesting a band surgeon IN NETWORK and was denied, I was seen in the ER, and my doctors after office hours urgent care, and was still denied that single visit.

I told them about the food being " stuck ", I told them about my reflux ( all they did was prescribe more Omemprazole ) I told them about my inability to swallow my own saliva, it wasn't until my airway became obstructed ( again ) on a clot of bloody mucosa while sleeping in the middle of the night, and I woke up gasping for air, and then ended up projectile vomiting from swallowing so much air because I had been denied oxygen for too long...as I lay there asleep in my own bed, but mostly because Sue ( Miss Calculator ) forced me to get up and keep fighting, because I had once again given up the fight...it was only then, that I tearfully demanded a visit and told them that if I die in my sleep, that plenty of people would come forward on my behalf, that I scared them into helping me.

Don't forget that they lied to me about my band erosion, don't forget I went under the knife for a " slipped band " even though the CT-SCAN from the night before showed " a perfectly placed band ", and lets not forget how I awoke from band removal surgery with 85 % of stomach cut out...

WHY WHY WHY did they cut my stomach out ?

I asked the ********urgeon if I could have a sleeve since he was removing my band, and he emphatically and stoically stated, " NO " and walked away from me.

So WHY WHY WHY did I awake from band removal surgery with a sleeve ?

Why did he lie to my face and tell me my band had not eroded ?

Why did he, as well as his nurse verbally tell me that my band did not erode ?

Why did his office produce " Written Proof " that the band had merely slipped ?

Why was I able to produce an independent hospital O.R. report with written proof of the erosion ?

 Why was I able to obtain a picture of that erosion,

and WHY DID THEY CUT OUT MY STOMACH ?

My nervous system is shot to hell.

My esophagus is shot to hell

My back hurts when I eat anything dense to this day.

Is it truly a coincidence that lap banders are being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia ???

and people still want this board to reflect only sunshine and rainbows ???

Wow, wow, wow,  I didn't know these details or perhaps I forgot like I do mine because it's too painful to remember. Wow!!!  When I tap into My lap band experience sometimes I can't believe all the trauma happened to me. Remembering being abandoned by my original surgeon, being completely obstructed for 8 days except for 1 hour at around midnight where I could hydrate myself. No doc would help me  - in 2005  if they did not band you, they were not touching you! Thank God for Dr. Roslin.  he didn'T know me at all but his office had him call me from the road on the way to the country.  He said I will turn this car around if you are having a slip but I think you just need an unfill.  He said I think what they are doing at that office Is deplorable and he immediately got them to get someone to unfill me.  I had to travel, they (the CORI Center ) paid cash, the surgeon was super green.  I cried terrified & in pain. Even under fluoro he did not know what he was doing.  it was awful.

I had a revision before I could have any fill bcuz my port was shattered and gushing of blood from my port site upon being released but Still in the hospital - thank God Oh, too many things.  I am so grateful To have been able to have a great doc to see me through every little thing.  I had so many tests in/on those big machines that now I get anxiety attacks. Dr.R most times came down during those tests how Blessed was I!

Anyways I am glad that is all over. Ugh!

I want to make you better !

This is how so many of us are treated, and we get the added bonus of being blamed for it....ENOUGH !

If someone complains here of being " Stuck " then I am damn sure going to make sure they understand the truth, and if people want to call this board " Negative " SO BE IT !