Appalled by misinformation

One of them, the Queen of LBT, sent me the most vile and threatening pm over there.  She was using 2 IDs and using one for posting, the other for threatening/harassing.  I sicced Alex on her...she's not allowed to communicate with me.  She is a self-appointed forum moderator who is nothing but an Internet bully who blames band failure on pt noncompliance.    

Do I know this A$$-Clown ?

I stopped going there when I had issues.

Not surprised. Sure you got told that if you had only followed the rules, you would had no problems!

Sheesh! I am pro-band as you know! But that board is not, not good news!

Thanks Kate you don't know how much that means to me.  I always looked to you for support and guidance while I was banded and you always gave me advise in a civil way and asked questions in a non threatening way. But, that said even most here didn't.  I truly wanted to know what I was doing wrong and what to do different.  It was that advise that stopped my from getting a fill for 4 months when the surgeon said I was wide open and needed one.  I knew from all here I was to tight.  It was also yours and Jean advise that gave me the encouragement to go back and push the issue.

Unfortunately, the abusive post sent me into hiding with my tail between my legs when I really needed help and support.  I just hope all can get the help they need here.  Rather it is to keep their band working or to know when they need help.  Also to help and encourage those losing their band.

All those coming to research should get all sides.  If it is that US surgeons can't or aren't willing to do right or give proper information then they shouldn't be making the $$$ from banding people they can't/won't help be successful.  We had a band only support group but, they stopped it because it was becoming an after hour medical complaint group and people were just getting discouraged.  At the last all WLS support group I was the only person there with a band and as you know mine was coming out.  Two people there there thinking of getting the band after, one switched to the sleeve.

Thank You all here that are willing to help all in a useful manner!

I do have to stand up a bit for surgeons like mine who I truly believe is an awesome doc and I had him for another issue and he is a very caring and kind man who wouldn't spread misinformation if he knew it was untrue. However back when I got my band the docs were merely repeating what they were told by Allergan (Realize wasn't out yet). We have since learned the hard way that Allergan are a bunch of lying s.o.b.s they told surgeons it would last a lifetime and that the food had to stay in long enough for the vagus nerve to be activated, that if we just ate properly we would lose. They didn't take into account that not everyone who is fat is from over eating as in my case where I already ate healthy 9/10s of the time so there was little to change and I believe that is why I lost so little. I was already eating like a bandster so there was nothing to change. Mine came from inability to exercise because of another health issue.

Plus they don't take into account people who are already metabolically challenged. There are so many different causes for obesity, as many as there are people. Not all of them are because of over eating, plus not nearly enough is done to deal with the emotional issues. It should be proven that the person has come to grasps with their emotional issues before a surgery is ever done. If that isn't dealt with and changes made, no surgery even the DS will solve the obesity. For some people those mental health issues must be addressed before they can accomplish weight loss.

For others it is being uninformed nutritionally they have just never learned the proper way to eat, they just eat the way their family always had which isn't neccesarily healthy. I know people complain about having to wait but I sincerely believe there would be a far better weight loss and continuing weight stability if these 2 points were emphasized more and maybe make it a year or more to make sure these points are thoroughly covered and understood by the patient. And yes for some they do just plain over eat. I watched some people eating yesterday and they amazed me, I could tell just by looking at their plates why some were skinny and some were fat. Some people just don't want to give up the tasty food in big amounts and that's just the way they are.

As with all diseases there are some who survive with ease and others who will never survive. They may be equally compliant with treatment but one succeeds where the other fails. That is what makes obesity such a difficult disease to treat.

Hislady, oh, yes, I am sure that the majority of surgeons in the US are first rate. It is ones like that one which had to stop advertising in California ( something like 088 Get thin!??) who probably aren't.  And O also think in all countries that per-ops often hear what they want to hear!

I agree with you.  I have learned SO MUCH by being on this board for the past 6 years.  I know my initial surgeon is a proven quack, but I think MOST surgeons are good.  The patient has to take a lot of responsibility for learning about their tool, AND choosing the right tool from the beginning. 

I am currently in therapy for eating disorders.   My weaknesses are carbs, especially salty and crunchy.  With the band and with the sleeve, I can easily eat both, which means no weight loss.  I have to take responsibility for that, and do what I can to fix it. 

I am just always amazed when I was in a "new patient" group with my current surgeon, or attend any support groups.  A majority of the people there really do not understand the surgery they are getting or already had.  They seriously do not.  I think mandatory classes and lots of therapy should be required before having WLS. 

The biggest thing I noticed on that site is the outright hatred for this site, stating that this site is full of ignorant lap band haters.  The thing is, while the Lapband forum is quiet these days, the rest of the site is quite active and supportive.  LBT  is only Lapband , so unless you join one of the other sites vst and rnyt, your perspective is going to be very one-sided.  Here you can do research into various surgeries on the same site.

i posted on LBT before I had my surgery, didn't get ONE reply as a preop looking for advice.  I only started going there again when this board became so quiet, last fall.  I got shot down pretty quickly when I suggested that blaming someone for band failure was unkind, even cruel.  Bunch of mean girls who troll every forum, even complications, so they can shut down any negative posts.  When one gal posted, it was suggested she was a troll, perhaps a member here whose name started with N, and was told in the first response that she "seemed ignorant"!  Then a page of insults, mockery and bullying ensued.  When I posted that perhaps some questions were in order, rather than assuming she was a troll, I got shot down pretty soundly.  It's definitely a "gang mentality" and poorly moderated for verbal abuse.

Here's the first response on that thread:

Posted January 19, 2013 - 5:02 AM

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I've never once posted on that site but there are still people who accuse me of posting. It's kind of funny, actually. If I were to post somewhere, I would surely do it as myself... I've been doing just that for years now here on OH.

I read over there once in awhile just out of morbid curiosity. I never get much past two or three threads before I just roll my eyes and go do something else. It's like watching preschoolers trying to  talk about physics.