Do You Feel More Worthy Since Losing Weight?

Just wondering?  Many who experience regain seem to feel like they failed, rather than it being a normal occurence following most WLS types.  It seems that we are prone to sink to an even lower level of self esteem than we experienced pre-op.  I know that I feel much better physically for the most part (other than my band complications) and fear regain and the mental funk I believe will engulf me again.  Since I am pondering band removal to resolve or improve my dismotility issues, I am torn between revision or no revision and the tipping point is fear of regain.  I don't trust that my new eating habits, lifestyle changes will see me through and prevent regain.

Please share your thoughts...

I regained after having my band removed, quitting smoking, having a hysterectomy and having to take steroids for an extended period. I was pretty down on myself for about a year. Then I realized how much better I felt than I did when I had the band. It was a wake up call, for sure. Instead of feeling bad about having regained, I started feeling really, really happy to be alive.

And that's when my whole life changed for the better. I have a wonderful family who loves me, no matter what; friends who are supportive, smart, funny, and talented; and a wonderful career in art that I absolutely love and feel SO grateful for.

I have a whole closet full of small sized clothing... I haven't given them away because I still try to get down to a smaller size, honestly. But it's not my sole focus by any means.

Maybe it's because I've been happily married for 24 years and don't have to be part of the superficial dating scene that I don't feel so compelled to be part of the weight loss status quo... but I just am tired of spending time worrying about appearances. I take care of myself and genuinely feel happier than I have in years. 

Being fat isn't the worst thing there is. Chronic pain was a LOT, LOT worse. No doubt.

You are ten times more beautiful than all of the skinny women in the world.  Me wuvs you.....

Awwwww, THANKS! I feel the same about you!

I don't think worthy is the word for it.  I feel better about myself and more confident.  I know I look and feel better.  I can do things I couldn't do before physically.  My lifestyle has changed dramatically, I eat better, I exercise, I don't look for the lazy way to do things anymore.  I have so much more energy now.  My health is great...no more medicine.  I just feel really good about myself because not just because I lost weight but because I feel good.

Yes I am single but I am not actively seeking someone to date.  My happiness does not depend on whether I have a man in my life.  Sure it's nice that I can turn the heads of men now, and they flirt with me now.  But I feel like when it is meant to be it will happen.  I have had people try to talk me into dating sites...but I don't know if I want to do that.  I can tell if I like someone in 10-15 minutes.  So now I'm stuck sitting with someone for a couple of hours??  I have a full, active, happy life...if a man becomes part of that...yeah!!!...if not...oh well.  And if it does happen...well he will be getting someone that is looking good and feeling great!!!

Oh and far as weight gain...I'm 4 years out and I'm still losing.  I hope it never happens ( I will NEVER say never).  I am hoping my healthy eating and my 6 days a week at the gym will prevent that.    

WOW Stephanie, this is a great topic!

I know my life has changed 360 degrees. I am eating foods I never thought I ever would, and challenging my body with activities I could never do. But, when I have gained even 10 pounds, my body began to feel some of the familiar aches & pains from my obese days .  I don't want to accept the gain, as then those aches & pains become my new "normal". And in part  that was how I became obese, in small increments, like a snowball.  

My esteem was awful! I thought I was fine esteem wise. But like so many,those who do admit it, I was numbing myself with my foods.My food was my drug of choice. I didn't allow myself to feel. This journey has revealed layers of my hurts and pains. I even thought I knew about nutrition, but I really didn't as it turns out.

I only began seeing a counselor post op, I wish I had seen her sooner. I have always shared here on OH that I see a counselor, and I believe this has helped me enormously! She helped me when I had my Slip. Other people believed in me! But I didn't believe in myself. I can only pray that if God forbid that I should be faced with that situation again, that I can over come. I have to BELIEVE that I have made serious changes, and that my "tool" , is just that, a "tool".  My "tool" only dims my appetite, I was very instrumental in my weight loss. I can't give my POWER up to my "tool" because I used so many other "tools" to get where I am.

"Life" goes on, and there will be crisis, and bumps in the road. I have to learn how to navigate through those events, even  during the happy times. And I believe I am stronger than I have given myself credit for. I can't  base my life upon a number on a scale either, again, I won't surrender my POWER to objects or unhealthy people in my life.

Now I am rambling! Sorry to go on, so many feelings on this though.

Thanks for posting this topic,

prek3

Good question Steph.  I don't know if I can answer it, but I do feel better because I have lost weight and look better.  But what really makes me feel good is when I am taking care of myself and eating healthy food and not stuffing myself for god knows what reason, all one million of them.

You said it!  I could have posted the same exact thing.  It's about realizing you need to take care of yourself, you deserve it.

Edited to say, Do you fear regain?  I know I do.  I've lost this much weight before, in 1996-97, gained it all back when I had to quit work to care for my daughter who was on bed rest from 15-32 weeks with her girls (and the 2 yr old grandson) then pretty much kept my life on hold managing the household after they came home (2 at 4 weeks old, 1 at 8 weeks old) for about 18 months.  I just gradually gained until I was up to 240 or so from a low of 190.  I've been to counseling several times, but sometimes think I still need some help dealing with this fat shield I feel the need for.  

I think in my heart of hearts that I need to have my band removed because of the motility issues I'm having, but I am really scared of regain.

You know what you need to do and what is best for you Stephanie.  We are here for you.  Than you can decide what to do down the road.