Run over by the wagon--HELP!

I was banded December 2009 and initially lost 85 pounds within a years time.  In May of 2011, I went through a terrible divorce and turned to food for comfort.  I no longer exercised like I once did and am now almost back where I started.  I'm so disgusted with myself and don't follow any of the rules anymore.  Has anyone else gone through the "gain it back" syndrome?  Part of me says that I did it once I can do it again, but the other part of me says I'm a failure.  I have this tool and do not utilize it for the good of my body.  As the new year as arrived, I have a new husband, and he loves me just as I am, but I don't love me!  I sure could use some advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation.  I've fallen off the wagon and can't see my way back to it.  Any advice would be much appreciated!!

 

Julia

There are dozens of us "old timers" who are struggling with weight regain and bad habits, just as you are. My best advice is to get back to your surgeon and try to remember the excitement and commitment of being a new post op.  Stop beating yourself up and start all over again.

I regained about 40 pounds from my lowest point after being too tight and having bad reflux resulting in several unfills.  I gave myself permission to eat badly, and it has taken me a LONG time to get back on track.  I am losing again very slowly and carefully, but need to get back to the gym and start exercising for anything serious to happen.

The point is, yes there are lots of "you" out here, and we are all pretty much kind, supportive and willing to help.  I know the troops will chime in shortly. Jus****ch!

Thanks, Judy!  Your words help tremendously.  I have also suffered from reflux due to being too tight and had several unfills.  In November, I had an upper GI done to make sure the band had not slipped or was too tight.  All was well there, and I'm back to needing the basics.  The exercising was the most beneficial, and I've recently taken to thinking of sweets/candy as my cocaine.  If I look at it as bad like a drug maybe I can convince my mind it's bad for me, and I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, so I can't just have a small bite and then walk away.  One small bite leads to the whole bag of Reese's peanut butter cups being eaten.  It's all about the mindset, and I'm working towards getting it back to where it needs to be.  Thank you again for the words of encouragement!  I really appreciate your thoughts.

 

Julia

I, like you, don't seem to be able to do anything in moderation.  I have decided that of course I can't abstain from food, but I can abstain from high fat, high sugar foods.  I know what I need to stay away from for sure.  I have thought about going to OA but the higher power thing just doesn't sit well with me.  Good luck to you!

(((((Julia))))
You may have picked up a few , but, ya gotta rid of a BIGGER dead weight, the "X"!
Good thing about being banded, we have no window of opportunity, it's always right there waiting for us to pick it back up when we are ready!
Blessings,
Prek3

Hi Julia,

Ther are a couple of things you need to do before you embark on this phase of your journey. The first is to forgive yourself. You are human and you have a chronic disease. In cir****tances like yours I would have reacted the same way. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell that woman you forgive her for not being perfect. The day I did that was life changing. The other thing you must do is to redefine failure. You are only a failure if you give up.

You can do this. Come here daily and get some support. Get to support group meetings in your area.

Good luck,

Sue

Julia,

You are not alone.

I regained 30 lbs last year, which was a tough reminder of the chronic, incurable nature of obesity. Weight management is a lifetime project, and it's hard to stoke the fire back to the blaze of enthusiasm we had as new bandsters.

I agree with Judy - go back to see your surgeon and dietitian for a band refresher course. Also, try to squash the "I'm a failure" thoughts. They won't help you get back on the bandwagon. I would concentrate on one behavioral change at a time (I would start with exercise, but that's me) so you don't feel so overwhelmed and discouraged. When you're back in a good routine with exercise, pick another change, like purging your house (and car, and workplace) of the sweets and/or other trigger foods.

Even though you feel discouraged about the weight gain, you're in a much better place emotionally now than when you divorced and were eating for comfort. If you can't love yourself right now, at least you have a husband who can pick up the slack now.

Jean

Julia:

My advice is to get your head back in the game as others have said.  It is not easy but you just have to not give up.  If you eat one thing you think you should not, don't give up for the day.  Just keep going.

You will get it back.