Do you ever ask, "How do I look?"

 Hearing "beautiful" from your son would be the best!!

I never ask that question.  In fact I'm uncomfortable with the attention I get from losing weight.  I am uncomfortable with the flattery and compliments.  I have a family member that has had Lapband too and he feels the same way about the attention and compliments.  So we joked that we wouldn't do that with each other and instead will tell each other how terrible we look.  To this day when we see each other we always give each other the "omg you look terriblel, you couldn't look more awful" ...everyone just looks at us and we have a good laugh...hahaha!!!!

Too funny!

I can't remember ever asking a man how I look (afraid to hear the answer, or afraid to put him on the spot), but I do ask certain trusted friends, usually because I'm just not sure of the size or fit of a garment or outfit. And of course, amongst store employees, anytime one of us says, "How do I look?" the automatic response is, "You're a very stylish girl."

Like Kath, I get plenty of unsolicited positive feedback, though less now than I did when I got close to my goal weight 4 years ago. When I told a friend then that I was uncomfortable with compliments, she said, "You need to get over that." And I did.

Jean, I have read your book and enjoy getting your newsletters. I have failed with my band and am now considering the sleeve. I know you have the sleeve now and so I'm curious to hear from you about this new journey you are on and what your experience has been. Please let me know how the sleeve has been for you. Thanks in advance for any insight.

Well, I didn't revise to the sleeve because of failing with my band, so my experience may not be relative to you. Whether the sleeve would be a good choice for you depends on what makes you say you've failed with your band. If your band "failure" is due to unmanageable side effects or complications, then the sleeve might work out for you. If the "failure" is disappointing weight loss, I'm not sure how the sleeve would improve your weight loss since it is (like the band) a primarily restrictive procedure. Neither the sleeve nor the band will make good food choices for you, make you avoid slider foods, exercise for you, conquer emotional eating, and so on. On the other hand, if band aftercare (fills, etc.) is a problem for you (because you can't afford fills, or have had trouble finding an optimal fill level that you can tolerate, the sleeve could be a good choice for you.

My own expectations of the sleeve were that reduced grehlin (hunger hormone) production would greatly reduce or eliminate physical hunger, and that the reduced size of my stomach would reduce the amount of food I can consume. Although I've encountered plenty of sleeve patients who love their sleeves and haven't had problems from that surgery, I'm having a hard time adjusting to my sleeve. My sleeve reality at this point is:

I am hungrier than I have ever been in my entire life. No matter how much (usually 1/3-1/2 cup at a time) or what I eat, I get ferociously hungry only an hour later. My internist's NP says this is because my body thinks that the food I eat is inadequate. After I eat, my blood sugar spikes up, then nosedives, and that makes me so hungry that I have to eat again. Both high & low blood sugar also cause unpleasant symptoms (high: increased thirst, urination, nausea; low: lightheadedness, disorientation, headache, cold sweat, fatigue, irritability). As an aside, you don't have to be diabetic to experience symptoms like that. It's been 7 years since I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and never in that time have I experienced problems like that. To manage these symptoms, I have to eat continuously throughout the day, which is annoying at all times and a big problem when I'm at work, where I'm not allowed to eat or drink except during one 15-minute break.

My sleeve does reduce the amount of food I can eat at one time, but because I have to eat so many times a day, my overall caloric intake is about the same as it was when I was maintaining with my band. I have a suspicion that the main reason for my weight loss now is something called glycosuria, in which excess blood sugar is purged from my body through excessive urination, and which can cause weight loss, but I need to find an OTC urine test kit before I can confirm that. Excessive urination is inconvenient, but the worst part of it is the burden placed on my kidneys by the need to flush the glucose out of my system. Renal failure is a classic complication of diabetes and I do NOT want to go there.

Also, I've discovered that sleeve patients can experience dumping syndrome, just like bypass patients, when I eat something with more than 5 or so grams of sugar in it, eat too fast, or overeat. I'm getting better at avoiding dumping, but it still surprises me sometimes (sugar lurks in things I never had to question before, including protein shakes, protein bars, Greek yogurt & other dairy products, fruit, etc.). The dumping is extremely unpleasant, with early symptoms of nausea, flushing, dizziness, rapid heart rate, and later symptoms of sweating, hunger, confusion, fatigue. In sleeve patients, dumping is caused by rapid gastric emptying; when the food or liquid suddenly floods into the intestines, my blood sugar spikes up again, putting additional burden on my pancreas and kidneys, then it nosedives again, and so it goes, on and on.

Finally, I recently learned that the extreme fatigue and low energy I've had since my sleeve surgery is caused by anemia, never a problem for me before. Since I take a multivitamin and eat plenty of iron-rich foods, the anemia could be a result of losing most of my stomach (you can read the findings of a study about that here:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3021197/

Because of the anemia diagnosis, I did a hemoccult test that showed blood in my stools. This means I have a gastric bleed, which could be from ulcers, and ulcers can be a consequence of the surgical procedure, and/or caused by excess acid (since my body many not realize yet that I don't need so much acid with such a small stomach), and/or caused by something going on in my lower GI tract that's unrelated to my sleeve surgery (polyps, cancer, hemorrhoids). Tomorrow I'm having an upper GI study done to check for ulcers. Since I'm already on a PPI (omeprazole), the treatment of ulcers would require an additional medication to coat the ulcers and protect them from acid, or it could require further surgery.

If this long story is confusing to you, join the club. Since my sleeve cannot be reversed, I'm looking for ways to live with all of this. The good news is that an iron supplement has restored most of my energy, I've lost 21 of the 30 lbs I regained after my band was removed, and fitting into my smaller size clothes again makes me happy.

Jean

Jean, I am so sorry to hear of all the problems you have been having. Thank you for your response. I know you are a busy lady and am so appreciative you would take the time to reply to me. You have given me something to think about since if I'm being honest with myself the reason I failed with the realize band is my own food choices. I would struggle getting dinner down so I would throw up and find something easier (cookie) and eat that. I need to really step up and cut out the sugar that I love soooo much. I pray god will bless you and help you to get to the bottom of what ever is going on with you. Best wishes and god bless

You're very welcome.

Sugar is the devil for a lot of people. I know some highly successful bandsters whose weight loss stalled (or they regained) as soon as they let sugar back into their lives. I love sugar too but salty stuff is my own personal devil. I deal with it by not keeping salty snacks in the house. You might find you have to quit sugar "cold turkey", but once it's out of your system, it should be easier to avoid because your sugar craving should lessen.

Jean

I only ask my husband! He has always been a good shopper with me at size 24 or now 16, he let's me know if it looks nice or not. No children, so he is my honest child! It is very nice hearing him say nice things more often.

can't say that i have. i think i'd be afraid of the honest response. compliments in general make me uncomfortable. even when it's my husband, i'll often deflect his compliment with humor, it's just even with how much weight that i've lost, i still am not entirely comfortable in my skin. i don't like pictures being taken of me and with the exception of our wedding, not a lot of pictures exist of me beyond the age of 10 when i started gaining a lot of weight. i'll post a picture here and there if people start pestering me for an update, but again, though the responses are polite, it often feels rather like, "Wow look at you" instead of "dear god, what the heck happened to you," type of response and it sounds terrible to state it so bluntly.