Embarassed

So I am just over 2 years out from lapband.  I lost about 80 pounds total and then unexpectedly got pregnant 8 months post op.  Well I had a healthy pregnancy and baby who is now almost 8 months old.  I had a complete unfil towards the end of my pregnancy and I have not gone back to get any more fills.  I have been really stressed and even had a little depression so the last thing I cared about was my band and lossing weight.  I have since gained weight (like almost back to surgery weight) because I fell off the wagon and stopped exercising.  I know I need to go in and get a fill but I am so ashamed to do it.  I feel like a failure and I am scared to go in! I just pushed myself to workout tonight (I have 3 kids and my husband just deployed so I have barely ANY time to myself) and I only made it 15 mins before I felt like I was about to die! I actually didn't even make it that far but I pushed myself to go that long!

Never ever be embarassed or ashamed to to go back and start over!! You are certainly not the only one this has happened to, there are many, many others. And  really what is your option, just keep ignoring it and gain even more. If your band has been unfilled of course you've gained. Get back in there, get a fill, restart like you just got your band and lose that weight. No time like the present to get going and just think how surprised hubby will be when he gets back. Plus you want to be able to play with those babies and chase them around. At least you had a valid reason, you had a baby! Now get up and go make that appointment. If the doc isn't supportive find another doc, there is no reason to just give up!

I'm sure at your WLS office, they would prefer you to come in and see people who've fallen off the wagon, everyday. I remember thinking the same thing, like you, I think it is soooo normal. But remember you are doing this for you, not the Dr's and they work for you.
Do you live on base and are you able to use the base gym? They may have a place the kids can go or a room where you can work out with them, there. They do, here. Or maybe you can find a work out partner, and you can take turns watching the kids or work out together. Some family services or airman (or whatever military branch) readiness centers have mommy and me groups. When my husband was TDY and I was home with my kids, I would just walk around the neighborhood pushing the stroller, for exercise and also to get out of the house, LOL.  You are not a failure, just had a small setback, being pregnant and having a baby is hard, physically and emotionally. I think its great that you pushed yourself, 15 minutes is a great start. If you can do that everyday or 3 days or once a week, it's a good start. 
One of my good friends is such an upbeat person and has helped me, he says things like "if you don't like something, change it" "you have to do it for yourself, no one else". I keep these things in my mind as I get myself back "on" the wagon. Good luck.

Hang in there! You're doing great with getting restarted, do what you can and build from that. I hope your doctor will be supportive. Is there a support group you can get to? The group I'm going to is great and very positive and a great source of support.

I know how you feel.  I had to go back and face them with a weight higher than surgery weight.  In my case I got and unfill.  Same results though I now am losing.

Get your butt back in there and give your band a chance to help.

I had a gain too  I felt embarrassed and ashamed to go back to my doctor but I went to the Doctor yesterday after a 15 month absent and I am up 19lbs.  I felt ashamed and embarrassed for gaining.  For "failing" myself and my Doctor.  When he walked in he said OK you had a little slip up a bump in the road, but I have to commend you for coming back at this point for help.  I see patients who wait until they have gained almost all of it back.  You did a good job of monitoring yourself.  So what are you going to different to get back on track.  How can I help you do that.....What, did I hear that right?  He was kind.  He understood.  Damn I wish I went sooner when it just was 10 and I tried to lose that before I went to see him.  That 10 turned into 19lbs.  I am kicking myself for not seeking help sooner...OK lesson learned!!!.  Go you might be surprised.  We have food issues if we didn't we wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place.  Go and get your fill.  Start over.  You got this just do it!!! If he is a jerk tell him that is why I needed the surgery in the first place A@@Hole!!! He is there to help you.  He doesn't get paid unless you visit him so he may be happy to see you and your money...lol :grouphug:

My surgeon always says "don't be discourage, WE can do this".  Remember, your surgeons reputation is built on the success of his patients, not the failures, so he has nearly as much at stake in this as you do.

You are human, had a beautiful baby and some big life changes, and took a break from taking care of your weight.  Break's over, time to make yourself a priority again.

Let us know how you make out.

That must make a BIG difference.  I saw my sugeon once before surgery.  I have never seen him again.  The help has talked to him about me and my issues and than talked to me about what he says.

I completely understand! I have an almost 3 month old. I originally lost 120 lbs and unexpectedly got pregnant. After that pregnancy, I couldn't get back to pre-pregnancy weight and actually gained back 60 lbs! I then got pregnant AGAIN and gained even more! My band is completely empty which my surgeon did cause of an issue I had after my first band pregnancy. I have no money to get a fill right now, so I am just doing the best I can. It definately is embarrassing, but then again, I think they see that happen more than we'd like to admit. As soon as I can get enough money I'm going to get a fill again, but I'm doing ok without one for the moment. I got down past my last pre-pregnancy weight so now I'm working on getting back down to the first pre-pregnancy weight. You can do it, it's hard. I have 3 kids too.