what has happened to this board lately?

 I joined this board in 2008,, I had my band in March 2009. At first I was amazed at all the support, the kindness the help and the friends that I made..  I got some good advice and I got some bad advice.. Some crazy advice too. I never took anything seriously. I asked question and did my research on everything.. I have learned over the years who I can really count on for solid advice. I have many friends that I can rely on.. But, I still rescearch, google, read and ask questions before I do any anything. or if I still am not sure I call my Weight Loss Surgeon.. Some times I am not sure I did the right thing by getting the lap band... Why you ask..Because i don;t always follow the rules like I should.. I forget to chew, (then I get stuck and Puke) I eat the wrong foods, (then I gain weight) I don't exercise enough, ( I get lazy). Its all me..Not the band ( so far, but. I know some peoples body just can't tolerate the bad) that is not your fault. But, this name calling and bashing on here is unreal..What is happening?? Alot of the veteran banders (That were on here when I started ) are not on here..Where did they go?  I guess they are like me and just read the posts on here and don't  take the time to answer them because of all the mud slinging on here. I am afraid someone will take my answer the wrong way.... This was a place I enjoyed coming too when I needed answers. Where did it go?... Can't we all just get along..We all have problems and need answers.. Just answer with care and some good sounding advice. I know some people hate the band because they have had many medical problems with it..That goes with any surgery..but, please watch what you say..Because not everyone has problems like you. If I had listened to every thing that was said one here about the band I wouldn't have gotten mine.. right now I am doing fine with mine..That is not to say that sometime in the future I wont have problems..BUt I surley wont be on here telling people not to get the band.. That is a question for them to deciede not me or anyone else.. I have heard the good, the bad and the ugle about the band. but, in the end I did it for me.. If I have probelms then so be it..Please be nice to your fellow bandsters..They are here for help and maybe a shoulder to cry on, not to be told they did the wrong thing or that they should have another weight loss surgery.. They want support thats all... I am not out to offend anyone, if I did I am sorry...Just my 2 cents...  Hugs..."Lucky"

 I think it's still here...part of the problem is that more and more bandsters are developing problems, share their experiences and either get blocked or told to get off the board...+ the moderation is very heavy handed.  One extreme or the other...

I remember the "kinder, gentler" board that you do, Lucky.  I think a few things happened. 

First, I do think there have been several prominent members of the board who have had complications and problems up to and including revisions, and they have shared their stories, sometimes with strong convictions and sometimes with almost terrorist fervor.

Secondly, there does seem to be some distressing new data coming out that perhaps the  band isn't meant to be a long-term solution to weight loss.  Lots of us are waiting to get more definitive data so we know what to expect.  We may be less confidant about advising in the decision-making process but comfortable with band management issues.

And thirdly, some people who seem to know lots (but who actually have some personal need to have a following) have enthralled members with tales of happily-ever-after.

So lots of us who have been living with bands and who may have balanced advice and input, both pro and con, have withdrawn out of frustration and self-preservation.

 Good analysis, Judy...

If people would simply post in the way they feel comfortable on threads and stop complaining about how OTHER people post, it would be a different board altogether. Every week there's another thread about how people SHOULD post. And it doesn't help in any way. People are going to say what they want to say, and in the way they want to say it.  I'd advise that people should block, but that doesn't do any good, either. If you block, people get upset. If you speak, people get mad. It's a losing battle, no matter what you do.

And to answer the question, "Can't we all just get along?" I'd say, "Probably not." But that's OK. We don't need to all 'get along.' There will always be people who agree with you... or agree with the person you DON'T agree with. It's a waste of time and energy to try to get everyone to 'get along.'  And your comment about how "not everyone will have problems like you..." the same thing goes for the people who have had NO problems. If a prospective bandster sees nothing BUT happy stories, they're going to be in a world of hurt if they do experience problems. (And the band has a much higher incidence of complications, so the likelihood is greater.) There are always going to be those of us who have nothing good to say about the band and there are always going to be people who have nothing BUT good to say about it. It doesn't mean one's right and the other's wrong. It just is how it is.  At the end of the day, you just need to be able to say, "Well, I'm fine today" if you're fine... and if you're NOT fine, you should be able to divulge that, as well.

So, post the way you want to... and say what you want to say... and don't worry about how it's perceived. Chances are, if you post to the people you have a lot in common with and just learn to ignore the stuff you don't like,  you'll have a more pleasant experience. It's the numerous threads that are posted in order to complain about how others communicate their thoughts that cause the most discord, in my opinion. We're never ALL in a good mood at the same time, us humans.

I too joined in 08 and was banded Feb of 09.  I think Judy nailed it.  Yes, the gentler board was nice.  For me I wish the board wasn't so nice back than and the post where being written that are being written now.

I would have made a different choise 09.

Well said Lucky.  What the board was in 08 as you said is what newbies are looking for.  Not the happy ever after, but info, knowledge and support.  I know that is why I came to the board.  Thank you for the elegant post. 

I agree with Judy (I think that was the poster - I read all the other replies after so I can't remember lol).

I don't think it's bad that people who have issues are here to tell their story, but I also miss the way things used to be. There were so many supportive, motivating posts. It was a positive environment for the most part. I haven't been on much at all in the last year or so (pregnant) but I've popped in here and there and can see the difference.

All the negativity sort of chased me away. Pre-op I used lapbandtalk a lot and I was just thinking about checking it out. I miss the challenges and overall sense of help, guidance, support etc.