Before You Were Banded...

WAIT  WAIT  WAIT...lets be fair here.

1. They hid their complications LONG before Maria opened her big mouth ( sorry Maria, I love ya, but ya ****** up, but hey I still love ya ) Now that I've ripped Maria a new asshole, lets focus on " The Others " who shall remain nameless ( less I get my ass moderated ) uh uuhhh

Those who shall remain nameless bailed on this forum LONG before Maria said, " I told you so. "  and we ALL know about the one in particular I am talking about. SHE NEVER CAME FORWARD ON THIS LAP BAND FORUM WILLINGLY. She only came forward when Maria outed her. Maria could have outed her in a MUCH NICER WAY, but lets face it...Maria has a low BS meter for LIARS more importantly, PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING MONEY OFF OF AN INFERIOR PRODUCT. THE SAME PRODUCT THAT HARMED THEM, but they still choose to believe that it was congenital now
WTF...Okay, so it's congenital, I guess that makes it either their fault or their surgeons fault.

I am sick and tired of people picking on Maria, why the hell are these same people not telling that other chick that, Maria may have been *****y about what she did when she outed your sorry lying ass, but YOU STILL ARE A COWARD, and the only reason you came forward was because MARIA OUTED YOUR LYING SORRY ASS !

Steph, I am not referring to YOU, when I type YOU !

 I get it, but still feel she who we cannot name would have come forward sooner or later...we don't get to choose another's comfort zone.  In reading the posts from said other person, her doctor thought it was congenital at first.  She has posted openly in other venues and I actually heard about the problems she was having long before Maria "outed" here here.  I'm not taking sides, but in the interest of treating each other as humanly as possible, I think no one should wish harm on another or celebrate another's suffering.  

Very well said

Maria is ONE person, I myself ( a notorious "Band Basher " ) came forward along with many other known " Band Bashers " and wished she who shall remain nameless, well. We did this for other Failed Bandsters as well.

Why is it that one persons ill advised comment gets the most recognition, but the rest of the positives get ignored ? She who shall remain nameless never once acknowledged those of us who wished her well, despite any ill feeling we may have had for each other.

It's not fair to keep stating that other failed bandsters are afraid to come forward, when time and time again, We " The Band Bashers " have continuously lent our support to those we have gone head to head with in the past when their bands eventually failed them.

We never took glory in their pain and suffering, we helped to lift them up and catch them up to speed on how to go about documenting their problems for insurance purposes, getting the proper diagnostics, and or discussing revision options.

This isn't right and from now on I am going to be bringing this subject up every time someone places the blame on Maria. There are too many of us here on this forum that lend a positive ear to those that were against our very presence here on this forum, those that believed we didn't belong, those that took pleasure in our own pain and suffering, and those that blamed us, but we stuck around because we felt it was the right thing to do.

I promise you we do not wish anyone with a failed band to have their band fail on them, we do not sit around and wish pain and suffering upon those whose bands are currently failing them, we do not sit around on our perches wondering why some of the newbies dare to disrespect the vets of this board and wish upon them a failed band. ( YES I can see and read what those vets are saying in the Band Grads Group ) and I think they have a lot of damn nerve talking the way they do about certain new newbies ) and yet what ****** me off the most, is that they are exhibiting the same exact behaviors that they have consistently beaten Maria over the head with here on THIS forum.

We need to put the past in the past and find common ground. There needs to be a balance on this forum, and I know we are capable of doing this, but it will not happen until we can all learn to let the past go, and that goes for both sides.

My initial response on this issue was to Maria, and addressed her comments specifically. Itwas moderated to **** in another thread. Since she brought it up here, I saw another opportunity to get at least a "yea, that wasn't a goo thing to do" out of her. I don't have any hard feelings, I just don't think it was something that should have happened. I understand fully, Lisa, that you wouldn't wish the hell you went through on anyone. I was off these boards for the most part for 5 months. I read about the issues on another site and in email weekly newsletters.

From the TOS on the Band Grads board:

"This is OUR private forum. Do not copy and share posts, member lists, or any other information outside this group. If the Moderators learn that Band Grad issues or posts have been shared elsewhere, action will be taken in the form of unapproval and/or banning from this site."

Pumpkin:
If you are a member of the grad board, you violated it by by your comments about it. I think you do a great job with information but I don't appreciate you sharing your opinions about what was said on a private board in this open forum.

I'm sorry that you're angry Jo, but you ( in general you ) don't get to keep spanking Maria, while you
( in general you ) allow yourselves to to exhibit the same undesirable behaviors in your private group.

Don't make this about violating that groups TOS, OH TOS supersedes that private groups TOS every time.

 I never said I was angry.  I have no problem keeping emotion out of this.  You violated the rule of the group. That is all I was pointing out.  FWIW, I don't agree with your all your opinions but I am not chastising you either.

Jo,
 The TOS of that group is not of particular importance to me. What is important to The OH Lap Band Forum is support. When we only leave room for undesirable behaviors, those behaviors generate hate, and that's exactly how anger works and operates.

My own hands are not clean, and I have always been the first to put this out there about myself. I'm no Suzie Sunshine, we all have to start somewhere. Let us all start fresh, and leave our unwise and hastily chosen words in our pasts, so that we can help to educate the newly banded, and the pre ops.
We cannot move forward, while we are still looking backwards.

 I agree with you on this point 100%..you aren't half the nasty b**** you used to be .  You have strong opinions and, IMO, you chastised a private group that was reacting from how they were quite rudely disrespected repeatedly on the LB board.  Why don't you chastise them instead of wagging your finger at those who had no place to sharewxcept on a supposedly private board.  Whatever was said is quite mild compared to what has come from you and Maria.   

Yeah..that doesn't make it right but these harsh posts from you are a little difficult to swallow considering your background here.  I know some of it(most?) had to come from the pain you were feeling. I have a lot of respect for how you have grown.   However, I don't agree with your assessment of the discussions there...I feel less inclined to go back if you are going to be monitoring it for things you believe are unfair.  It's the grads who were treated unfairly by being told to shut up and go away.

Maria can be over the top sometimes but she has a great heart and good intentions.with that said, I don't agree with how she treated J. nor how you characterized her.  The attack was admittedly payback for treatment Maria felt from her.   That's her defense every time she's called on it.

These are my opinions and I am entitled to them. I have not attacked anyone...just blocked for stating a different opinion.