My Husband has a lap-band

Hello, I just joined this group.  If this topic needs to be moved, please feel free.  I was wondering if there were any types of support for spouses of those who have had surgery.  My husband had lap band several years ago, and it was a success at first, but he has had ups and downs.  He has realized that in order to keep the weight off, he must exercise (running is his favorite form).  He has not been getting tightened regularly because of our financial situation, although  I wish he would make himself the priority.  I have epilepsy, and have had tons of medical problems the last few years, and just had surgery for it, so that's where our money is going.  I feel so guilty :( Anyway, when we attended the info sessions at the hospital before being approved for surgery, I remember them talking about how the urge to eat will always be there, and how it's important to not overeat.  Well, he does, and I have heard him many time throwing up his meal (not lately though since he has not been tightened).  His job has been so stressful with the hours and his boss, that's another reason why he has not been going to the doctor.  I want to be sure I am supporting him, but I don't want to be a nag.  If he doesn't like to eat something, he will not eat it no matter what (i.e. if I cook veggies/fruits, etc...).  Of course, I could stand to lose weight, but I am not interested in surgery, and I've never had the willpower to get started. Is there anyone else out there in this situation, and if so, what has worked for you in supporting your spouse? 

Have you reached out to his doctors office to see if they have monthly support groups that you could both attend?

We have 3 or 4 groups in my city and they are really helpful.

I understand about a stressful job and our inclination to turn to food. Perhaps you can help him be sure that he has some healthy snacking options (fruits and veggies he can tolerate) in small portions. It might help to get some of the snack sized baggies or glad ware bowls that hold 1/2 cup servings.

Unfortunately, the foods that are the worst for us in terms of quality are the easiest for us bandsters to consume.

For most of us, the simple carbs melt in our mouths and slide right down.

Lean/dense protein are our best choices but often overlooked when we are under stress.

First of all don't feel guilty about your health issues, we get what we get and your needs are important too. If he is vomiting alot his band may be too tight or he's eating too much or too fast. Stress will for sure cause his band to feel tighter as will being dehydrated. All you can do is provide the healthy food for him but it's his responsibility to make the right choices, as you know you can't make him eat right. He really should touch base with his doc and relate these issues so he can use his band to his best advantage. But as with anything else in life you can't force him to make changes only he can make that choice. Don't you take blame for his actions or inactions.

You might go with him to the local support group, or encourage him to check out some of the online Lap-Band forums and groups.

Click on the link in my siggy and see if any of the stickied topics fit any of your husbands issues.