Veterans and losing lots of weight.

I was just wondering at how many pounds lost did men start noticing?  Do they treat you differently?  How have friends reacted to your weight loss?  I would love to hear any stories you might want to tell.

                                             Thank you,

                                               Lori

Lori, you might want to join us on the WLS Singles site here at OH.  You will get lots of support and tough love.  Dating can be treacherous for us as we struggle with new identities and old hurts.  And yes, it can all be much different and much better after WLS.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/wls_singles/

Here is the link

I've been married for 23 years and my husband has treated me the same (great!) no matter my size. BUT, when I started losing weight, I had weird men hitting on me too often and it was uncomfortable for me. It might have been more to do with the fact that I had cuter clothing to choose from... and I was kinda fearless about it. It draws attention.

I've regained weight now, but I just got asked out on Friday. (I declined. My husband wouldn't be too happy about that!)  So, I think it's more about approachability than weight. I smile a lot! At around my highest weight, I traveled Europe. I had marriage proposals and men pinching me. (Especially in Spain and Italy!) It was crazy... so I think in the US men (generalization here!)  might be more "conditioned" to think a woman needs to be a certain size or something. Maybe it's not as true elsewhere.

It's true that there is a larger "pool" of men when you're at a certain weight. But I truly believe that a genuine, authentic person will see and appreciate a person at any weight or physical appearance. Those are the guys to keep! No matter what your weight, if you are truly yourself, people will see that and respond to it.

My friends all joined me in losing weight, actually. As I started getting thinner, they did too! A few of my "friends" kind of abandoned me. I had chronic pain issues from the lapband... and they were always the thinner friends... so, if it's a shallow friendship, it can definitely be affected in a not so great way. I got a couple of "I told you so's" when I had pain from the band... and that didn't seem like something a true friend would say to someone while they're suffering, so I grew away from those people.

And I made NEW  friends! 

I lost 154lbs and this is just my opinion....Of course I think I look more attractive to men because of the weight loss.  But I think men start to notice more because you start to feel better about your self and start dressing nicer and fixing your self up more.  Basically you are taking better care of your self and you feel better about your self.  I think the self confidence is also very attractive to men.  So I think the combination of the weight loss, the better clothes and grooming, and the self confidence yes men do start noticing you.

To tell you the truth I am still VERY shy around men and I'm not used to it.  I think it comes off as "I'm not interested" so I try really hard not to act that way.  My first reaction to a guy flirting with me is to run away...I am so uncomfortable with it.  I have gone on a couple of a dates now and I am starting loosen up a little.  One guy liked me because he saw my shyness as "being a good girl"...some one that doesn't sleep around (well he's got that right)...but not for the reasons he thinks....hahaha. 

The weird thing is I am having doors opened for me or when I drop something men will help...not used to that at all.  One guy I didn't know wanted to buy my food in line at Chipotle...I said no way of course.  I wasn't comfortable with that.  Chivalry is only dead if your fat...I guess. 

cyrstal, that is awesome at losing 154 pounds.

Lori, I had about 100 lbs to get to my goal started 258lbs when I hit about 175 lbs I was in a toco bell drive through getting refried beans when I got to the window I was told the man in the truck in front of me had paid for mine. Thats when I first noticed men were looking lol and other people were not staring at me. The bag boys were offering to carry out my groceries(some thing that never happened). Men and women do treat you different when you are average size (sad but true) no one ever talked to me or held a door, or carried out my groceries or even offered when I was larger. It feels good to finally blend in with everyone else.

I started in a size 26....I have to be honest, men have always noticed me when I was fat....but I would say when I got into a size 16...things REALLY changed.....I would say at one point it was overwhelming with the looks and whistles.....it makes you feel good even if you have no interest in the men...but sometimes unwanted attention can get annoying....

Men are attracted to confident classy women....as long as you act in a dignified manner a GOOD man will be attracted to you no matter what...but let's be real here MOST men are visual and they are attracted to women who look good and keep themselves up...I've seen many pretty heavy women that wear nice clothes and act dignified and classy...and I've seen women who were skinny and trashy and did not keep good hygiene....so this question is not an easy one...

Just be yourself and keep your self up no matter what size you are and this will help your self esteem and confidence and give you the motivation to keep focused on your weight loss goals and aspirations.

Good luck