Adjusting my Brain

I am yet another culprit of this... I remember buying 30/32 shirts but could get away with 24 pants.  The first time I WALKED (not bought online plus size) at Old Nav, literally cried int eh dressing room when I put on 18s and they got on no prob.  After one wear I realized I needed a 16, talk abou****er works LOL  I am still having major problems with shirts though.  I tell myself, today Im gonna try and wear a shirt NOT from the Avenue, but I cant do it.  I feel like every bump is showing and the arms are a disaster.  So then on comes the 2X sweat shirt as my security blanket, ugh so frustrating!!
I just hope I can get over this... I wanna have the confidence to do it, but just cant seem to get there.  My ideal would be to go into a store and say, can ou tell me what size I am?? But will I listen??? LOL so stubborn... I tell myself all the time, when I can do it, I will have the best closet EVER! :)

If it weren't for my belly flap, I could probably get into a 14. My arms look like bat wings and my legs look like sagging pantyhose that need to be pulled up. but HEY I will wear long pants and shirts with some sort of sleeve cause its better than wearing anything being as big as I was pre-op

 There is always plastic surgery! have had 3 surgeries - a total of 28lbs of excess skin removed! Less than 20k and my body looks better than it did in HS!

I wish I could afford to at least get a surgery to get rid of the belly flap.

 My plastic surgeon is a true artist and his prices are very reasonable!

 This is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Control It restriction tanks from Kohls, they are not hot or uncomfortable or super tight, but they do just enough to smooth all that out so you can wear a more fitting t-shirt without worrying about the lumps and bumps.