advice

Hi guys,
I have to say I am so pleased with my band right now - I've had it since the end of August and I'm down 60 pounds already - something I could have never done on my own...But let me get to the point.  I'm having a problem with my husband.  I would think he would be happy for me and my weight loss but that doesn't appear to be the case.  He's been hot and cold.- sometimes he's positive and sometimes he really negative.  Today he said something about him loosing 45 pounds naturally and he didn't need surgery - which I found offensive.  I've heard of some people having problems with their Friends during their weight loss journey but so far my friends have been great.  Anyone experience something similar with their spouses??? any suggestions - I'm starting to think he should have attended the counseling services with me before surgery.  I wasn't expecting this - but i have to do what I have to do for me.

Remember you are doing this for your personal health and well-being. Keep up the good job!

I think some spouses worry there partner will leave them once they loose weight. IMHO this is particularly true if the spouse has there own weight problem. I would have a talk with him and indicate how important his support is to you. He may be feeling insecure, you may want to reassure him you aren't going anywhere (assuming your not lol). Good luck!

Thanks for the helpful comment.  I have tried talking to him to let him know that I am the same person and nothing changed but I haven't specifically addressed the issue of not leaving or reassuring him.  Hopefully that works.

People, especially those close to us often get a bit strange during the initial process! I have a friend and we have been friends for 20 yrs, to this day has still not said anything about me losing 300 pounds. Find it hard to believe that she has not noticed LOL All you can do is reassure your husband that you are still you, just an improved, healthier version. With time, this will show. But, I have found that sometimes people who have weight issues themselves are the ones that are the hardest on me. I did this for ME and no one else so in the end thats what matters. You are doing wonderful, be proud of yourself! 

Some people get really nervous when it comes to change. Even positive change can upset the balance people feel.

I had friends who didn't know how to react to my weight loss... they either made it first and foremost and paramount in every conversation or they seemed threatened and ignored it completely.  You need to just keep taking care of yourself... and be honest when your husband says something that hurts your feelings. Tell him that you realize that you're changing physically, but you're the same person you've always been. Sometimes what seems perfectly obvious to us isn't so obvious to others... and just hearing the words makes a difference.

I wish you the best and hope he can join you in at least one counseling session at some point.