A "LOVE/HATE" relationship with my body

 Oh, I would take the batwings over being back to my old size anyday LOL It's just that when they actally make clapping noises while I am jogging, it can be a bit much :) 

I am in a solid size 12 now (which means I can walk into just about any store, grab a 12 and know it will fit), and I can get into a 10 in SOME stores that are known for their vanity sizing LOL 

My t-shirts are generally a large, but I will still get an x-large in some things b/c I am still funny about things being clingy based on how they are cut. 

I am struggling with my weight at the moment, had a little "off plan" train wreck over Christmas that stalled me out, and my body just does not seem to want to go below 180. I am totally happy with that, and if that is where my body "works" I will take it and not be upset at all.

Your taller! I'm a size 12 also and I weigh 140. Height makes such a difference in weight distribution!For me to be skinny I would have to be right around 100 pounds.  I was chatting with someone last month and she was a size 12 also and weighed 190.

So here's my thought for the day...........I don't need to diet! I just need to get taller!!!

You're still beautiful as ever Bette. On the inside AND out!

Now enough of this mushy crap. Must return to my crabby persona! ;-)

My love/hate attitude isn't over any specific part of my body, but about the whole thing on any given day.  I am either happy, thinking I look pretty damned good all things considered, or depressed and thinking I might as well never have had surgery.  Fortunately, most days I still think I rock!

Bette, I think I am more critical of myself now that I have lost weight. When I was big I either did not care or said "Fuck it, or whatever". Now I look at every small pretty girl and say "Now why can't I look like that"? Flat stomach, perky boobs, nice shape no lines on their face, beautiful hair and then I realize I'm not 25 anymore. I have had a child, I have been heavy and lost weight so I sag but I feel better than I have in 20 years.

I have 2 wonderful men in my life that tell me how beautiful and desirable I am and I can't wrap my head around it, I still see the "fat" Debbie in the mirror when I look even after almost 6 years. I can only see the "real" me when I see pictures.

This is a life long struggle, I go up and down in weight and have now had to say goodbye again to my potato chips and I love those little fellows, they are so comforting to me and love me when no one else does so I guess I will be alone for a while so you are NOT alone in this struggle.

 When I was big I either did not care or said "Fuck it, or whatever". 

ME TOO!!!

Oh sure. I think we all have that relationship. Even though I am basically at the weight that I said "I don't have to be skinny, I would be happy to just get back to X weight" I still feel HUGE. Plus I'm up 10 lbs from my baseline right now. I had a small unfill so I'm gaining weight a lot faster with this pregnancy. I still weigh a lot less than when i started, but I don't FEEL any smaller. I feel like a big, jiggly, cow.