AM I SELFISH BECAUSE I TELL MY MOM NOT TO DO WLS

I think you should be encouraging your Mom instead of telling her no.  Frankly she is more apt to listen to a Dr or nurtritionist about her eating habits than her daughter.  No respectable Dr will do the surgery unless they think it is safe for her to have it.  You have a new outlook on life  wouldn't you want your Mom to have that same opportunity?  If we all worried about dying from the surgery I promise you 90% of us probably would have never had it.  But with any procedure there is a chance something can go wrong.   Ultimately the descision is her's & I am sure she would like you to be supportive.  I know I would have been madder than hell if someone would have told me no when I wanted to have mine.

Jessica

 My vote?


When I had my surgery, I was younger than your Mom, but I had all those comorbidities and more. Her chances are better for dying from one of those than from the surgery.

If she's really investigated all the WLS options, has made up her mind and is "of sound mind", just support her decision.

i will support her i just dont want anything to happen to her :/ i will go with her to her surgeons appoinment and ask alot of questions... For me it was an sort of easier desicion because all i suffer from was obesity no other medical conditions like her and i had surgery to stay away from all the medical conditions she has!!!


Thanx guys :)

You made it thru surgery why are you so concerned that she won't? I know to you she's old but honestly she's pretty young and deserves to have a full life without these current health issues. I'm 61 and in the last 5 years I've had not one but several surgeries a year and I haven't had a bit of trouble from any of them! I healed up and moved on just fine and I have a lung disease so if anyone was gonna have a problem it would be me!
Hon I understand you are afraid for her but she was probably afraid for you too, but she put on "her" big girl panties for you, do the same for her. And trust me no mom is gonna take nutritional help from her daughter. She needs the surgeon to tell her and have her practice the diet before surgery. If that doesn't help there is always counceling but it needs to come from someone other than you. Now put a big smile on your face and tell her you are there to help anyway you can. Don't deny her the same happiness you have. Life is short, let her enjoy hers. Good luck!

My mom is dead. She died while trying to get approval for her weight loss surgery. While her cause of death is down as pulmonary fibrosis, her condition was weakened by her diabetes, high blood pressure, asthma, congestive heart failure, and heart disease. The Dr. won't do a surgery he thinks will result in death. Let a professional decide if it is safe for her to have the surgery.

In the long run it's safer for her to have WLS than live with those co-morbidities. However..........the band would be the LEAST likely to resolve the diabetes. If it's type-2 then the highest resolution would be DS/RNY/VSG in that order. Many that have DS and RNY never gave to take diabetes meds again. Help her make the RIGHT choice!

Hey gal, I'm 61 and had the surgery when I had just turned 60.  I had the fear for myself that you have for your Mom.  I did not have as many comorbidities, but had some also.  So far it has been one of the best decisions I ever made.  I have lost a bit over half of what I have to lose and feel WONDERFUL AND happy.  My PCP and husband helped me make the decision.  Others were just informed.  I'm self pay so I'm really hoping for no complications.  She needs your help researching her options.  Maybe she will want a different WLS, maybe not.  Help her with options, pros and cons, then support her decision. 

My daughter and I went to the surgeon together. We were both going to have RNY bypass. I have congestive heart failure, pulmonary high pressures, high blood pressure, fibromyalgia to name a few. Our surgeon would not do RNY on me,because of issues. So I had Lap Band and my daughter had RNY. I was a little upset at first. My daughter was at goal weight in 6 mos. I had not even found restriction at 6 mos. We have supported each other. It has been a good journey for both of us. We realize we each had a different surgery and know we loss at different rates. But we are both getting healthier. My pulmonary pressures are now at normal.
Take this journey with your Mom. My mom died unexpectedly at 64 from congestive heart failure. I am 53 and my daughter is 35. I hope we live long healthy lives.

Hi there,

I know you are just worried about your mom and love her so much.. but if she does not end up losing the weight, (and it sounds like she might need wls to help do it)  it is very likely that the health issues she has right now will worsen and she may even gain some new health problems. Someday, your Mom could face having a much more risky surgery while her body is in worse condition than now. 

I was very scared to have surgery, but what really made me decide to go ahead with it was the fact that I was 100% likely to develop some serious health issues from being so fat. I thought of all the middle aged and older people that I know and work with  that were significantly overweight and low and behold: they ALL had serious problems, whether they acknowledged them as serious problems or not. I didn't want that to be me.  Your mom doesn't want that to be her anymore. She wants to feel better, move around better, become a participant in her life instead of jus****ching it go by. Support her all you can.  It sounds like you are pretty close -- you could be her biggest cheerleader!

thank you all for the reply, i feel a little more encourage to support my mom on her wls journey.. since i already been thru it i will give her the best advice i can:) also help her get a great surgeon to work with her need!!! i want her to stick around to see my kids grow :)