AM I SELFISH BECAUSE I TELL MY MOM NOT TO DO WLS

SO I HAD  LAP BAND SURGERY 3 MONTHS AGO AND I BEEN VERY SUCCESSFULWITH IT, I HAVE LOST 42 POUNDS SO FAR. MY MOTHER WHO IS 52 YEARS OLD; 5'0-190 POUNDS WANTS TO HAVE WLS TO SEE IF IT HELPS WITH HER HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, DIABETES AND HER ARTHRITIS IN HER LEGS. SHE IS ON ALOT OF MEDICINE WHICH ARE JUST MAKING HER SICKER AND SICKER.. MY WORRIES IS THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE COMPLICATIONS WHILE SHES UNDER OR AFTER SURGERY!!! ALSO THE DIET I WAS ON FOR 4 WEEKS WAS INTENSE AND I DONT THINK SHE WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL WITH IT... I KNOW SHE CAN DIE OF DIABETES AND HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE COMPLICATIONS TOO SO I AM IN A VERY TOUGH POSITION!!!!!!

SHOULD I PUT MY BIG GIRL PANTS ON AND SUPPORT MY MOM? OR KEEP SAYING NO!!!!!!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION?

why would you not encourage your mother to fix comorbids & have her stick around longer?

i would do anything to keep my mom around healthy & happy - and if she ever needed WLS (she's 4'10 & 90lbs wet) i'd be her biggest support.

HBP / diabetes & to top it off with arthritis - they don't fix themselves.

i don't see it as a tough position honestly - i'm 4'11 & had WLS at a lower weight than your mom.

redbabe,
 I do want her to stick around for ever but i know its impossible :/ i love my short lady just wouldnt want her to die because of surgery :/ i'm very concern about her eating habits even with diabetes she eats all the sweets and feel like she havent eat if she doesnt eat rice everyday :/ ever since lap band i havent  had and rice and try stay away from sugar... I try and teach her how to eat so she can lose weight but she doesnt get it 

I think it should be her decision not yours. I am 57 years old and had mine done in July and it is the BEST thing I ever did. I had high blood pressure and on multiple cholesterol pills.(also have low thyroid)
Dr advised me to have it prior to becoming diabetic.
I wish I had done it when I was younger!

i know it is her desicion and not mines im just concern on her eating habits!!!for me 2 i love my band it has given me my life back :) i want her to be around forever and get off all those meds...

ps, my son was against me having it but told him he had no say.

I would help her research her choices and let her make the choice. You should then do everything you can to support her. I wish I had encouraged my mom to have bypass when the doc wanted her to. My mom didn't have WLS and died from a stroke from her blood pressure when she was 63 years young. The choice needs to be hers!

im so sorry bout your loss!!! i will help her research wls wouldnt want her to leave us so soon!!!

thank you

 I think you should encourage her as well. And go to several docs with her. My pre op diet was cl fluids for 2 days. Find the right doc for her. I had my surgery at 50. It is more likely you will lose her from her health issues than from the surgery. I believe your fear comes from love, but she is in pain. Don't let your love blind you to her suffering. You have set an example, and you can do this together. 

i will help her find the right surgeon to help her :) thank you for your encouraging words.