falling in love again

 Thank you Donna,  I am trying but when I was younger  I was considered somewhat of a deva with a beautiful body and it is very difficult for me to realize I no longer have that body.  This one is a stranger to me and I'm really trying to love it but when I look in the mirror I wonder, "who is that stranger"  (smile).

I am actually kinda scared to lose the weight and start looking for relationships i have this fear that i am going to constantly want to say you like me now would you have liked me at the 385 # that i once was......

 Janetta, first of all congratulations on your 80lbs weight loss, that is amazing! 
Second of all: I am so sorry that you fell for a scam. The kind of good news about it is that this person does not actually exist. It's like all the girls falling in love for Edward (Twilight). It's fiction. It is not real, please keep this in mind. Therefore it must be possible to feel the same way for a man again that exists in real life.

That German bloke was not only scam, but also scum. Trust me- I know how you feel. But he is not worth even one single of your tears. Please- be open for love. But you deserve much better. I don't even think you need to find THE one- when the time is right, he will find you. 

I am sending you big hugs! Evelyn

 Thank you Evelyn, Hugs back.

so sorry to hear about ur story, men can be dooche bags!!! i used to hide myself behind a computer when i was 300+ pounds o and the big girl clubs in nyc where guys with bbw fantasies go.. i had a couple of bad encountours with men i met on the internet and at the bbw clubs somehow they felt like because i was so big i had to sleep with them?>!!! I always kept my guards up, i didnt have much self esteem but believe that who ever loved me wouldnt mind my weight!!! i met this amazing guy>>>>>hes the one hugging me in my pic, he had a crush on me for years but never had aproached me at the bbw club, one day i went to a regular club and there he appoached me :) we been together now for 1 year an 7 months!!! hes my #1 fan he loves my fatness and has always supported me in my weight loss journey. he makes me feel like im the most beautiful person even at 330 pounds... i had WLS for myself he didnt want me to have surgery but he support me in my desicion! being in this relationship has made me focus on myself, he knows everything about me and doesnt judge me one bit! I had WLS to be healthy not skinny!!! I want to have kids now and get marry to him ofcourse :) i want to be around for a long time :3

My advice is for you to work on your self first (not talking about weight) but try and get u mentally stable and LOVE YOURSELF!!! NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU LIKE U CAN LOVE YOURSELF!!!
As for the internet dating that works for a handfull of people try and get yourself out there, enjoy life even if its by urself!!!! life is 2 short to sit and wait....