Is it wrong to want to forget your past or leave it where it was?

I feel guilty about not helping people with band issues.  I am just not so interested anymore (I know that there are pple here who will help and guide).  I am happy with my sleeve life, I feel so normal like I've never had any weight loss surgery (I swear).  I feel like there is no trace that I've ever had surgery like I don't have to hide - my port is gone, my hosing is gone. I don't get any boom, bang signals nor have any adverse reactions to any foods - even fibrous fruits.  I mean grapes with skin and all, bananas, mango, pineapple, asparagus . . .  even bread and pasta just not to much.  It is awesome, I feel awesome.  I don't want to stay stuck in a time where I was feeling so down.  I have a new beginning is all

I will always struggle with food, eating, weight, but I can cope.  I am like everyone else now.  I will have to work hard like everyone else but I am so fricken normal.  I can drink or eat just before bed and be okay.  Weird my normal. 

My best friend is banded so I do the band thing with him because we've had a lot of similar issues.  In the last hour he coached me into being sleeved. 

What triggered this post?  I responded to someone on the VSG forum who wanted to revise.  It made me exhausted.  I don't want to be in that place anymore.  I am free from all the troubles I had.  I feel positive about my future.  And no life is not all perfect, but I am moving forward.

Blessings,
Leila

I am tremendously happy for you, Leila. I know you were nervous before the sleeve surgery (normal, I would imagine!) So I am so glad to hear all is well.

I know what you mean about exhaustion. I feel exhausted a lot of the time when I try to explain my experience with the band... and it's even moreso when clueless people slam me for sharing it. I'm sure at some point I'll just kind of give up.

Happy to see you. Glad you're well!
Nicci

Nicci,
I can imagine how frustrating it is when all you want to do is give people a head's up to what can happen to some people with the band.  While we would all love a "happily ever after" with our bands, I believe that knowledge is power.  We ALL need to share our stories.

Leila,
So happy you're doing well.  Who knew feeling "normal" would be so important to us?  Enjoy!!!

~ Barbara 

Thank you for understanding where I'm coming from, Barbara! I agree with you... knowledge is power! (They wouldn't be able to do those public service announcements, if it wasn't!) 

I like this sentiment:



Sometimes my attitude isn't good. I know this.   I blame peri-menopause... but it's probably just that I have a bad attitude sometimes. 

Oh baby girl THIS is really what life is all about.  Getting to that HAPPY place.  Even though I'm struggling with 20lb regain that's NORMAL for many people but the issues I have seen with the band are NOT.

Anyway, please if you responded or have a heartfelt post just put it on your profile and when you see and CHOOSE to respond to a post just copy and paste.

I wish you love, peace and happiness!!

Ms Shell

First of all, congrats on the revision and on now having a normal life. :-)

I get where you're coming from. I do find it extremely stressful at times dealing with this forum. Though many of us have differing opinions, that is life. We will never find someone we agree with all the time. Just the way it is. But I think what I find the most annoying on here is there are those on this forum that don't know wtf they are talking about and want to insult me and tell me I'm wrong! If someone has had their band a few yrs., had no problems yet, and it's worked well for them so far.....then I understand them not seeing things from my perspective. But when someone that has had their band 4 months.......or worse...........someone that has not even got their band yet and tells me how wonderful it is and wants to insult me and act like I don't know what I'm talking about as far as the band it makes me want to scream, lol. Especially since the latter is the one that would have to most to gain by listening!

I sometimes go off of here for a few wks. and then come back on. We have has some very caring ppl leave her because of how they were treated when they were only posting on here to HELP the other bandsters n potential bandsters! Wasa and Lynn come to mind.

I do think that those of us with failed bands owe it to prospective bandsters to come  on here and tell our experiences. I just wish someone had shared theirs with me BEFORE I got mine! I have mentioned it a few times to some of the new revisions on the revision forum. Most of the former bandsters don't care to relive their band nightmare though.

Which brings up this very valid point: When it is mentioned that you seldom see long term bandsters on this forum, and that it is even more rare to see one that hasn't had 2nd surgeries or complications........they always want to seem to B.S. us and say "that's b/c they are so busy out living their happy skinny lives and don't have time to post on here anymore". (Nevermind that the RNY, VSG, and DS long term ppl do! lol). Well this always makes me think of all the failed bandsters that you don't see on here anymore. It makes me sad to think of all of them that I have seen post and they weren't doing well with their bands...........then they just disappear. :-( I think we have far more unhappy, unsuccessful bandsters that don't want to post anymore b/c they are frustrated, embarassed, or have just given up on the band entirely!

So while I see your need to move on and forget the past, please remember that there are potential bandsters researching on this forum everyday. Some will post. Most will just lurk. You never know what you might be able to mention that might just give one of them food for thought and make them want to research it just a little better. If you're like me, I know you wish you knew in advance what the band was REALLY like! That is why I try to pay it forward...........to prevent someone else from going through what I have..........or worse...........what N.M. or you have!

That being said.........I am sure there will come a time when I will get sick of trying to help..........only to be attacked for it. So I am not really sure how much longer I will be on here (I can here the band cheerleaders cheering as I make that statement, lol).

So enjoy your new life. Make the most of your 2nd chance..........but please try to stop by from time to time to share your band life with the pre-ops. :-)

You've more than paid your dues with the band so go and enjoy life. If you happen to see apost that moves you to respond then fine but you don't have to respond to any if that is what makes you happy. Who wants to look back when they are moving forward?! Just keep rolling!

 Echoing Hislady. You have done your bit! You shared the positives at first and then the negatives. You supported, guided and shared!

Don't be ashamed to move on! Enjoy bring normal! 

But keep in touch!Kate

Hi Leila!

I say move on! You went through a difficult time, and who wants to have to relive it all again? I am so happy to hear how great you are doing. You really hung in their for a long time and you did "the WORK"!!!

I am a bad Bander, not hanging around here to offer help (but sometimes ya just gotta wonder if these people paid any attention to their dr.s or what???)

Anyway, move on, enjoy your life and have a
BEAUTIFUL THANKS GIVING!
Prek3
Carmen

You deserve to be happy.  Don't let anyone or anything take that from you. 

All of us made the best decisions we could at the time we needed to, and some have had better outcomes than others.

Your happiness is obvious, and the best evidence that your decisions were right for you. You don't owe a thing, and guilt is a useless emotion in this case. 

Go out and live!