Feel like such a failure

I have had the lapband for 2.5 years. I did great on it, lost over 100 lbs. Then I got sick with lupus had my band completely unfilled and was put on high doses of steroids. I have gained back 30lbs. I feel like such a failure, like everything that I have work hard to achieve is slowly being taken away from me. They say that the weight will come off once I am off the steroids but I highly doubt it. I cant exercise because I have accumulated fluid around my heart (complication from the lupus) so I sleep and eat and sleep and eat . I dont know what to do. Everyone keeps saying "oh you did it before you can do it again" but thats not where my mind is at. I am so depressed, I keep wondering why am I fighting this disease only to end up fat and unhealthy anyways. I have been dealt a bad hand and it just isnt fair. Yesterday my pharmiscist (and I love her) says "your so lucky to have a husband who loves you no matter what your body goes through" huh wish I could love me the same.

My band is still in, each time I am scheduled for surgery to have it out I get sick and they cancel it. I am supposed to start an immune supressent soon and dont know how much longer I would have to wait to get it out. Then I have to wait 6 months to have my revision, if the insurance will pay for it.

Sorry dont mean to be a debbie downer, thanks for letting me vent.

 

You are NOT a failure! Weight gain with high steroid dosage is to be expected. And as quick as I am to point out band failures......the band is not the issue here. My heart goes out to you. Obesity is so hard to overcome as it is, but to have to fight obesity AND lupus.........I am so sorry. Life is just not fair to some ppl. :-(

There is a lady that is on the forum at times that has another disease and is on hight steriod dosages. I think the spelling is "Gurenica". If you see her on here send her a PM. She may have some tips for you, or at least she would be an understanding, sympathetic ear.

Good luck!!!

You can't blame yourself for what's happening to you, sometimes life just sucks and we have to accept it even if we don't want to. I do understand the feelings tho because I have COPD (a lung disease) so exercise is nearly impossible plus I have fibro and arthritis all over especially in my back so all I could change was my diet. Great except that I was already eating 1000 calories a day or less before the band! So it did nothing for me because of all the other issues. I get very frustrated too because there is just no way I can lose the weight without a revision to a different surgery. My new ins. doesn't cover any WLS, so I keep plugging along and hoping for a change but I won't let it get me down very long because there is just too much good in life to let the few bad things keep me down. Try to look at the other things in your life instead of dwelling on the frustration. I have to take steroids too sometimes and I usually drop the weight fairly quickly once I'm off them for awhile. Good luck to you and remember life is short live every day to the fullest!

 I am sorry you are going through this..
Why do you have to have the band out?  I do not know much about Lupus...is that why it has to come out?
Prednisone is well known for causing weight gain... Dont let that get you down!  
By the way--- your pharmacist is an ass... That is an inappropriate and rude thing to say...
Have you talked to anyone about antidepressents?   I have found them to be  a big help

Good luck with everything and do not give up!!!!

Awe, sweetie....sorry we haven't had a chance to chate lately, even on FB.  My life has been crazy busy with moving, work and spending time with my new man. 

DO NOT get down on yourself!!  I regained 45 when I went through my slip and repair.  I was stressing about so many things in my personal life, I turned to food, just like I have all of my life.  I couldn't get motivated until recently to get back to losing.  I had NO excuses.  YOU DO.

You need to concentrate on taking care of yourself.  Please don't let some regain (ESPECIALLY WHILE ON STEROIDS) get you down!!  Enjoy your sweet grandbaby, the holidays and your hubby......the time for losing again WILL come.  Be patient with yourself, honey.  

Thank you all so much for the support. I have desperately needed it. Im trying not to be so hard on myself, we all know what we can be our worst critics.

The band has to come out because it is making my immune system more active. My dr says I have a higher chance at erosion so I must revise. I still havent decided what I am revising to. I am thinking the sleeve???

Maria, I know we havent had the best track record and I appreciate you putting that aside to give me support. Bless you.

Melly, we will talk soon. Maybe when I am feeling a little better we can have coffee or something :)

 How are things going for you post-band?