Wednesday: B*tch ahoy!

 





















For you NEW KIDS, HERE ARE THE RULES: 

"B*TCHFest"  is provided as a public service to those of us who have gripes and grievances but who (whom?), for whatever reason, lack a regular forum in which to air them. You are welcome to voice any problems - large or small, important, mundane or ridiculous -  that currently have your panties wadded, your shorts frosted and your gears ground. Don't hold them in and risk future medical issues, wrinkles and/or those pesky gray hairs.

ANY and ALL issues that are plaguing you are open for you to voice; there are no "sacred cows." They say that "feelings aren't facts", so if you're feeling it, it's legit to you. NO ONE is allowed to flame a poster for something he or she writes, however commiseration is not only welcomed but encouraged. Please, no personal attacks against other OH members (at least, not by name) and  ABSOLUTELY NO SURGERY WARS!

I'll start you off with a few gripes of mine, and you all can join in at any time! No limits - come back as many times as you like!

WARNING! Adult content ahead! Posts may (and probably will) contain "adult" content and language. I know that MINE will. Rated TV-MA.



Dear, delicious, Dunkin Donuts sausage, egg and cheese wrap: you usually agree with me, with your pleasant protein load, low carbs and your small size. Why did you pick today to misbehave? You've been sitting down in my tummy for almost 5 hours and you refuse to move along. GET GOING!

Why, when you order things on line, can't the vendor tell you whether or not they will be shipping via UPS? If I want my pkg to go to my PO Box (safest method) their computer should be able to TELL ME that I CAN'T whenI place the order, so I don't have to drive all over the county trying to figure out where the damned thing is!!

To the ******** who egged my door on Halloween: **** you. You think that's gonna make me WANT to give you candy next year? Nope. Maybe your get an ass full of BBs next Halloween. On the other hand, the eggs gave a a reason to finally scrub down my front door, which was getting a little grimy. But still **** you.

To the local TV station that has been referring to this week's unusual autumn snowfall a "winter storm" - it's not winter, you fucktards. The mere fact that it snowed does not make it winter. 

1. My toe hurts. Yeah, OK, I dropped a table on it and broke my toenail in half a month ago, but I want it to stop hurting now.




2. I also have a perpetual headache caused by what I assume is chronic sinusitis. I go to the doc next week and I'm actually looking forward to having a rubber hose up my nose.




3. I bought art supplies today. I thought... oh, maybe 50 bucks. I spent 150 bucks. It costs a lot to be an artist sometimes.




On the bright side, I also had a really kickass cheezburger today and spent the day buying ****loads of art supplies with one of my best friends. So, it's not all bad, I s'pose!

I come here to read the *****Fest, and hardly anyone is *****ing!  What is wrong with you people?  Can't you find something to gripe about?


I bought a set of sheets last weekend for a Queen sized bed.  I get them home and realize that the fitted sheet in the package is TWIN sized, and there is only one pillowcase instead of two like there should be!   Now I have to go back to Macy's and return them.  I really hate going to the mall, and now I have to go twice.


Traffic really sucks around here.  I was late for work 4 out of 5 days this week, all because other people can't drive.  I left the house the same time I always leave, and every morning this week (except today) there were accidents all over the place that caused the interstate to back up for miles.  Don't follow so closely, people!  


I went to the McDonald's drive thru the other morning for a coffee and a Sausage McMuffin (don't judge!).  It's only 2 items, but somehow they managed to screw it up.  I ended up with just the coffee.  I told them they still owed me a Sausage McMuffin.  She said:  well, they didn't charge you for a Sausage McMuffin.  I said:  well, I ordered one.  She said:  well, they didn't charge you for it.  I said:  Whatever, I don't have time for this!  And drove away.    What is so hard about this?  It's not rocket science!  I don't normally storm off like that, but I was already running late and in a bad mood, and I was SO looking forward to that Sausage McMuffin.  LOL


And Bette, I totally agree with you about the Halloween egg throwers.  That is NOT gonna make me want to give them candy, either!  Little punks!

 

 Because the Fest was on Wednesday, woman. I think (hope) everyone was out celebrating Hump Day! 

I'm *****ing again, dang it.

1. I fell on the stairs today... face first. Yay. I had my workout shoes on and they're slightly big. My left foot was numb, I was in a rush... face plant. Knees are all swollen, red, bruised, fugly! I'm too chubby to fall that hard and not be affected!   Oh, AND I hit my forehead on the table at the bottom of the stairs, so I have a nice bruise on my forehead, too! I think I might have to give myself bangs tomorrow. 

Thennnnn, I had to go work, limpy and ouchy and *slightly* grumpy...

2. I sliced my right wrist on a metal hinge while staging a storefront window. Then I jammed copper wire into my left thumb and bled all over the window's floor... and the electrical outlet... and the wall. I was my own version of "Carrie."

3. I came home and did some artwork and sat quietly so as to not further injure myself! I'm a freaking walking disaster today.

 Yes, I laughed. ANd I WON'T apologize.