J3sus ******g Christ, people!!!

Someone has to support the bandsters on here that have band complications! "Support" is NOT just telling ppl what they want to hear and supporting band cheerleaders!!!

I think the problem that a lot of us see with telling the negative stories is not that it is done, but the WAY in which it is done. Intentional or not, a lot of people who had negative band experiences can't present their experience in a way that is constructive, but only in a way that in angry and inflammatory. I don't present my mostly positive experience not as "It was wonderful, you should do it too!!" Instead I say, "I'm pretty happy with my band, here is what it did for me, now do your research and make your own decision." On the other hand, those with negative experiences rarely say "Here is my experience, be aware that this is a risk and be sure you have researched in thorougly before maiking your decision." Instead the posts of a lot of people come across as, "The band is a horrible piece of crap that works for no one and is more dangerous than any surgery or being a base jumper, everyone who says it works is lying, don't get a band at all, do this other surgery instead because I think that is better." THAT is what tends to get my hackles up. Maybe some people aren't aware of how the things they say come across in written form and simply don't know how to write in a non-inflammatory way, but maybe some do it on purpose. At any rate, I think this place would be a lot more helpful for everyone if people could take a step back and try being less angry and more objective. Turning this board into a constant arguement isn't productive or helpful for anyone.

Yes I have heard before that "I don't say it right". I get that. But it is my opinion. And yes........I am angry. VERY angry. But my posts here are not about "I'm angry b/c mine doesn't work so I want everyone else to be angry too". It's not about "I'm mad b/c mine didn't work and their's did, that's unfair". It's not about "mine doesn't work so no one else should have the band b/c I'm telling them this is what happened to me with the band". It's about "this is what happend to me and a LOT of other bandsters so I'm telling you these things so you have the opportunity to make an INFORMED decision............a chance that I never had". It's about "mine doesn't work, and a LOT of other bandsters have failed bands as well. Some have working bands and we are happy for them and we hope their LUCK continues". It's about "Mine doesn't work, and many other bandsters have failed bands as well and you should know these things not just exist, but are very common so you do not end up in a position like us, being angry b/c we are stuck with a Lap-Band that works NOTHING like the way Allergan advertised it to work!?"

~Instead I say, "I'm pretty happy with my band, here is what it did for me, now do your research and make your own decision."~

Yes you may do that, but when I tell them to research...........go to the revision forum................go to the vsg, ds, rny forum..........read the research info in the links I provided.................the happy bandsters get angry!

Even when I answer a thread that specifically says............."tell me your band experience", or "has anyone had problems with their band"...............the band cheerleaders get mad.

~ Instead the posts of a lot of people come across as, "The band is a horrible piece of crap that works for no one and is more dangerous than any surgery or being a base jumper, everyone who says it works is lying, don't get a band at all, do this other surgery instead because I think that is better."~

I often say it's a horrible piece of crap. I believe it. I can't see how anyone can read this forum everyday and see new ppl posting here everyday and NOT realize how high the complication rate is for these!

Also...........

1. How many long term bandsters do you see here (or in real life, so that crap about they are too busy out living their skinny life to post here B.S. comes up!)?
2. How many SUCCESSFUL long term bandsters do you see??
3. How many SUCCESSFUL long term bandsters THAT HAVEN'T HAD TO HAVE AT LEAST A 2ND BAND SURGERY do  you see???

Get the point?

~Maybe some people aren't aware of how the things they say come across in written form and simply don't know how to write in a non-inflammatory way, but maybe some do it on purpose. At any rate, I think this place would be a lot more helpful for everyone if people could take a step back and try being less angry and more objective. Turning this board into a constant arguement isn't productive or helpful for anyone.~

But many are aware of how the things they say come across and don't care. Furthermore................many of the band cheerleaders don't care how it comes across, or how "inflamatory" it is.................WHEN IT'S WRITTEN TO A "BAND BASHER"!

Did YOU (or many other band cheerleaders) comment in the last few days when there was the NASTY "INFLAMATORY" post written by lowcountry insulting ALL the bandsters that have failed bands and blaming US??? Did YOU (or many other band cheerleaders) comment when ****llight posted the "INFLAMATORY" thread a day or 2 after calling us "cry babies" b/c we post about our failed bands??? I think not!

See what I mean? It has to work BOTH ways! You ppl CAN'T keep starting posts saying how WE start inflamatory threads.............and WE are not "supportive", and WE don't post these stories "in the way in which it should be done" when YOU (and many other band cheerleaders on here) find these RUDE, INSULTING, INSENSITIVE, INFLAMATORY posts written to us as perfectly acceptable!

But do you see how the anger and vitriol in your post might undermine your cause? Someone trying to do research is MORE likely to dismiss you as simply being bitter because of the way you write. If you really feel that you want to try to keep anyone from getting a band or if you simply want to ensure that those seeking surgery are well-informed, you have to present what you have to say in such a way that the people seeking information aren't so put off that they stop reading.
And yeah, I have responded to posts like that, but not all of them, simply because of two things:
1. Dude, I am sooo tired of it. I'm getting to where I can't muster the enthusiasm. This is where a lot of us disappear to, You're more passionate than me, therefore you win.
2. I'm not here every day, I have a full-time job and a toddler. Some days I am doing good to find time to pee often enough, much less post things I've said 1000 times already.

I have much anger concerning the band. I have never denied that. But I seem to be in a no win situation with the band cheerleaders here. I post my experience. One will say don't do that, post studies. So I post studies, another says don't do that, just post how the band's effected you. I do a public post, I'm told I should send a PM instead. I send a PM, I'm told I should just post on the forum instead. Do you see where this is going??? Besides.......I really don't think your concerned about "my cause".

I completely understand the busy schedule and not being able or wanting to respond to, or even read posts everyday. But given your limited amount of time, you find the time to critique MY posts...........but NOT the bandster bashers? Don't you see how that looks???

On a more possitive note............the toddler is adorable. Saw a pic you posted previously. :-)

 And what is your anger doing for you? Is it making you happy? Enriching your life in any way? Making you pleasant to be around or pleasant to listen to? You have to do something about one thing or the other...if the band is keeping you this angry then you need to devote all this passion and energy into getting it taken out, there are ways to make that happen! If it really isn't possible at all in any way, then you really need to decide how you are going to live the rest of your life, because from over here, you don't look like a happy person. Maybe you are happy when you aren't here, but it's hard to see it.
I am selective about what I respond to, I see plenty of people who just don't need my 2 cents. And again, you seem to respond as though I'm attacking you, when I'm not. I am just making the suggestion to you that anger and vitriol are unlikely to win anyone to your corner. I'm not saying that you need to bend over backwards to be what everyone thinks you should be either, just that maybe mellowing it out a bit would help.

Thanks for the props, he is a cutie. Way cuter than my husband and I were at his age! We aren't sure how we managed to make something like that!

I have a wonderful life now. There is always room for improvement of course, but at this point I feel I am very lucky. I enjoy my life, and I enjoy my friends and family. What I don't enjoy is my band. That is not something I discuss much with my family b/c I don't want to make them sad. My daughter sees how I struggle with my weight loss since I'm doing it on my own, and my husband is the one that has the most difficulty with it. He gets very upset when we go out to eat and he sees that food is a problem at that moment. The band is  totally unpredictable, so I can't plan in advance when we go to eat, b/c I never know when food will be a problem going down. So to my husband I lie and tell him I'm ok when I'm not, and pretend that the band is not bothering me when it is. I do it b/c he gets so sad seeing me struggle with this, and seeing me get sick at times when I eat. I try to protect my family and not let them know how bad it really is. So OH is where I sometimes vent about the band. OH is where I used to come for support about my band before I found out you don't get support for band issues on the Lap-Band forum............you get BLAMED for band issues. And since I have found out how  badly the band cheerleaders want to cover up all the band issues............I POST TO WARN PRE-OPS.

You don't have to like my posts. Many people don't. That's fine. There are some posters here that have posts I don't care to read. No big deal. But judging from the thank you PM's that I get from those that were pre-op and did further research b/c of my posts. And the thank you PM's that I get from current bandsters who tell me they thought they were the only one with this problem............I know I'm doing the right thing. As I have said on here many times............"support" comes in many different forms. Support is NOT telling people what they want to hear. Support is making them aware of the truth so that they can make an informed decision about the band.

It isn't a matter of my liking or not liking your posts, my point is just that, if you want to succeed in getting your message across to people, being all shouty about it generally isn't the most effective approach. If I could make even one suggestion to you, it would be to use italics for emphasis or even bold italics rather than all caps because it seems like you YELL a lot and that just isn't going to make most people WANT TO READ WHAT YOU WRITE!

Also, forgive me because I don't follow you (or anyone else too closely), is your band unfilled right now?

Lastly, just by way of comment re the band working as "advertised." I don't expect anything to work as "advertised.." The nature of adertising is to only tell you the best attributes of a product. We, the consumers, must do what it takes to learn more before purchasing a product. Even when I got my band (well over 5 years ago now), there was plenty of information available to the effect that it is not 100% successful for everyone. My surgeon's office was up front about national averages being around 50% EWL (with their program averages being about 75% EWL), the possibility of complications and 2nd surgeries, and the possibility of no loss or weight regain. If your surgeon's office didn't help you understand this prior to surgery, then a lot of your anger should really be directed at them.

" If your surgeon's office didn't help you understand this prior to surgery, then a lot of your anger should really be directed at them."

I agree with this...I feel the anger is much misdirected because I just don't see the dismal picture that Maria paints.  Yeah there are occasional idiot trolls who pop out a real boner at timers but I believe the MAJORITY of folks here want to hear the good and the bad. Should we take a vote or something to clear this up once and for all?? 

Dev we're not accomplishing anything here. Let's just shake hands and agree to disagree on the band issues. K?

Oh and to answer your question. No I still have fluid in the band. I have not had it adjusted since the end of Jan. though.