Sad and disappointed... SMH

I've been banded for almost 3 1/2 years. I've had great success and no complications. I gained a lot of weight back with my recent pregnancy (being unfilled) and came back on the boards again for motivation as I'm back on the wagon. I'm so saddened because I don't recognize this place anymore. I originally went into this knowing the complications and risks involved, and I consider myself to be very lucky to have a band that has done exactly what it was designed to do, nothing more, nothing less. I was a member here for years before I was even banded, researching and reading what real life bandsters experiences were. I saw the good, the bad, and the ugly and still chose the lap band for weight loss. To date, I am VERY happy with my choice. When I was on here years ago, there were still horror stories and sad stories about complications, etc. but the tone was so different. I cannot believe how incredibly nasty, mean, and foolish some of the posts are on here. The verbal fights and immaturity that I see here on a weight loss surgery SUPPORT forum are saddening and disappointing to me. Tell your horror story if you wish. Make people aware of the complications and risks. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's good for everyone here to have an educated idea of ALL experiences with the lap band. But is it too much to ask to do it in a respectful manner, treating people with common courtesy and positive regard? I don't think anyone wants to sweep complications under the rug here. I genuinely and sincerely feel so sorry and sad for people who have had to endure complications, more surgeries, failure of the lap band, etc. It breaks my heart. But like I said, I knew full well everything I was risking going into this...even my very LIFE, but I chose this surgery anyway. I was thankful for every post I read pre-surgery in an attempt to educate myself and gain support from other people choosing to go the same route. Support and education is not what I'm seeing here anymore, and it just makes me so sad. That's all I really have to say...

are you just as disappointed of those who scream (all CAPS) to get off their board?   or those who blame failure constantly on the patient?

goes both ways & both suck.

i too have been here for quite a while & this board flows and moves, but since many have fractured off to different groups & sites; there is no balance or continuity.

sad - but a reality.


congrats on the baby!

Absolutely! Saddened by the lack of respect and support in general...

I agree with you Nichole and IMO it's not what's said but HOW it's said that is most offensive.

Just use the block button for those you can't bother with.  It's unfortunate for newbies that ask innocent questions and get jumped on but I've been told it's an open forum so anything goes.  Until the moderators take more interest it likely wont change.

I'm glad you're back.  I'm still here and read and respond daily and try to always share my personal experience, the good and the bad, but with care and consideration.

Good post!

Lisa O.

I'm here quite often and I answer questions that people who are having complications ask. Sometimes I'm one of only a very few who actually acknowledge the person.

So, I ask, why is it that some people only show up to admonish and express disappointment? That Lowcountry guy says it's HIS board and I can't say I've ever seen him on here helping anyone.

I genuinely and sincerely feel sorry and sad for people, too. That's the only reason I still come here. It certainly isn't because it's so much fun for me.

N.M. you are such an asset to this forum! You have helped so many on here. With what you have been through with your band, I know it would be easier for you to just try to forget about the pain and distress that the band has caused you. But yet you come her almost everday and relive your experience over and over to try to prevent others from having the same experience, and to help others that are currently experiencing band problems.

Thanks for all you do on here!

Amen!!!!  It a place for support!!!! Not to beat people down!!!! I agree with everything you have said!!!!!!!!

~Tell your horror story if you wish. Make people aware of the complications and risks. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. It's good for everyone here to have an educated idea of ALL experiences with the lap band.~

Really? B/c there have been numerous times that I have been told by Lap-Band forum members NOT to post on this forum! It seems to some if you don't have a happy band story..........you don't deserve to be on the band forum. Guess I should go to the NASCAR forum for support for my band issues? Lol.

~But is it too much to ask to do it in a respectful manner, treating people with common courtesy and positive regard?~

It works both ways you know. I suppose you have never seen any of the posts where ppl have posted about band complications or complained about their band not working and the band cheerleaders here told them:

A. They were lying!
B. They were at fault and NOT the band!
C. They are just pissed off b/c they haven't lost weight.
D. They are just pissed off b/c they wanted to lose weight faster.
Or my all time favorite............
E. They are too stupid to know how the band works!


~I don't think anyone wants to sweep complications under the rug here.~

You don't think so? Then why all the post from other bandsters on here complaining (being NEGATIVE theirselves!) that ppl post on here about their band problems, and they don't want to hear about it b/c it is discouraging to them! (You don't think that the bandster posting about having a FAILED band is discouraged?!?!?!)

~The verbal fights and immaturity that I see here on a weight loss surgery SUPPORT forum are saddening and disappointing to me.~

The verbal ATTACKS are what saddens and disappoints me. You don't have to agree with me, But don't ATTACK me b/c you want me to STFU about my CRAP-BAND! I don't personally attack others on here unless I am attacked first. Fair is fair.

~I genuinely and sincerely feel so sorry and sad for people who have had to endure complications, more surgeries, failure of the lap band, etc. It breaks my heart. But like I said, I knew full well everything I was risking going into this...even my very LIFE, but I chose this surgery anyway.~

There are those of us here that obviously did NOT research the band well enough. We thought we did at the time, but that was not the case. We post about our band problems to warn others that are researching the band so they can make an INFORMED decision about it. Then if they choose to get it, so be it. Our conscious is clear then. What I find reprehensable is the ones that are very well aware of how common these band complications are, and yet don't want the pre-ops to know about it. Or the ones that just do the band cheerleading when complications start to occur in those banded instead of giving them helpful advice and resources!

~Support and education is not what I'm seeing here anymore, and it just makes me so sad.~

Well first of all ALL bandsters deserve "support"! Not just those with good band experiences!!!

Second of all, "suppport" is NOT telling ppl what they want to hear! Support is telling them the TRUTH!

I have a comment and a question.

Firstly, my own personal definition of support is getting behind someone on a decision they have made or are going to make, and encouraging them in the direction of that decision.

My question is (and I ask this from a purely ignorant standpoint because I truly do not know), is there a forum for crap-bands or failed WLS in general that people can go to read about such stories in their pre-surgery search?

Also, everything I said on this post was my own PERSONAL opinion about what I've read and seen here on this forum. That doesn't make it fact. Just my humble opinion... and perhaps my views on things are not the same as every other person that has ever rubbed you the wrong way on this forum.

You brought up some very good points in your post. However I don't recall seeing you on the band forum before, and I was giving you some background about the kind of "support" some of us with band issues have receive on here! That has a lot to do with the way we post on here today. When you post about your problems and you are met with hostility and resentment, you tend to become a little hostile and resentful yourself at times.

~
Firstly, my own personal definition of support is getting behind someone on a decision they have made or are going to make, and encouraging them in the direction of that decision.~

If your friend wanted to by a Yugo instead of a Honda b/c she wanted a safe, reliable automobile would you support that? It all comes down to common sense. If someone knows what the band is really like and wants to get it anyway I can't say I support their decision. I do however accept their decision. After all, they are the only one that can make it.

~is there a forum for crap-bands or failed WLS in general that people can go to read about such stories in their pre-surgery search? ~

No. There is a crap-band on here. Not easily found for a pre-op researching. There is also a failed WLS forum, but I don't think it is active. That is why we post on the band forum to educate.