Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

We went out to dinner on Saturday.  I ate clams casino.  I ate bread.  AND I ate dinner.  On Sunday, which was September 11^th, my stress level was high, and I ate.  Then, after we went to bed, I got up and I ate again.  WHAT???  Why do I do that?  It’s like I leave my body and just automatically begin to eat.  And it wasn’t even something smart.  I ate ANOTHER dinner.  AARGGHH!!!

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…  I made my confession.  I can beat myself up and feel bad about it, or I can fix it.  I’ve decided to fix it. 

The first thing I did this morning is order both of Jean’s books.  Her first book is for inspiration / motivation, and her second book is for direction.  My stubbornness has always prevented me from admitting I can’t do this by myself.  I’ve always had trouble asking for and accepting help.  Just having WLS was a huge step in my life.  No matter what anyone says to me, I wouldn't change my decision to get this Lap Band.

The second thing I will do is, going back to the rules with food.  I must admit, nothing feels as normal as sitting down and just eating a sandwich.  I know it sounds silly, but while eating that turkey sandwich on rye bread, I just feel good in the moment.  And I know that eating a sandwich isn’t a tragic thing, but it led to poor eating on my part.  I need to get back to logging my food.  And planning meals is crucial for me.

My band is still doing its job (thank God).  I’m the one who slacked off. Yesterday, being the 10^th anniversary of 9/11, definitely made it a tough day.  However, I am not using that as an excuse.  I have no excuse.   It’s funny how after only a few bad days, I feel like I have forgotten everything I’ve learned.  Some days I have such a great handle on how to do this, and then other days… well, not so much.  The only thing I have been consistent with is my workout.  I can only imagine how much more weight I would've gained if I wasn't exercising.

I’m vowing, once again, to start again today.  I’ll put on my big girl panties (which, thankfully, aren’t as big as they used to be), and get back in there.  And I’m going to win the game!!!  You can count on me, coach!

Sorry this is so long.  Just needed to share my thoughts.  Praying that we ALL have an awesome week!!!
~ Barbara
PS - Can't wait to get Jean's books...

Here's to an awesome week ahead. You can do this.

I think logging and planning would be a great start. It really helps you see how things are adding up. Sometimes I think, "oh I haven't had THAT much today..." then I look at my log and see that I've actually had quite a bit! lol

According to your ticker, looks like you aren't too far away from slipping under 250. Wouldn't that feel awesome? I know that was a major milestone for me. 

If you are carb sensitive, like me, maybe a few ultra low carb days will help make it easier to get those cravings/munchies out of your system. 

Best of luck and keep us updated!
Lindsey