And so it begins...

 Hope everyone on the East Coast survived the hurricane.  We had minimal damage here.

Just got back from a 3 day trip to Conneticut - had an amazing time and didn't gain any weight!!!

My mother came into town last night for a 3 week visit.  I haven't seen her since before my surgery, and she doesn't know I've had surgery.  For those who may remember, when I told her I've lost "some weight", she replied with, "Hmmm... will I recognize you?"

I'm feeling some anxiety about seeing her.  She's a wonderful woman, but has been, without realizing it, sabotaging me my whole life.  I've lived with her saying, "That's ALL you're going to eat?", and "You HAVE to eat more than THAT."  

Ironically, we're meeting for dinner tonight.  Part of me wants to wear bulky clothes so she can't see that I've lost 80lbs.  Isn't that terrible?  I just don't want to have to deal with the comments.  I am proud of my weight loss and how well I am doing.  I just wish she would be proud of me too.  

My plan is to just go, and keep the topics moving along.  Maybe if I keep asking about her, the conversation will be more pleasant.  I have a feeling it's going to be a looooooong 3 weeks.

Well, just felt like venting.  Thanks for listening.  Hope you are all being good to yourselves today!!!!
~ Barbara

Congratulations on your weight loss!! Good for you. Its funny u say that. I still hear my mother saying things  to me, when I was growing up, "One hot dog is enough" "One egg is enough" and  so on...I am sure your mom will be proud of you. good luck and u should be SO proud of yourself. I am just getting started. My liquid diet starts tomorrow! Have  great weekend

 What an exciting time for you!!!  You're on the threshold of many wonderful things to come.  Stick to the rules and you're gonna do great...
~ Barbara

Hi Barbara;

I am in a similar position, none of my family know that I have had surgery and my Mom will be coming over for dinner this weekend too!  I did tell her that I have been losing weight and fortunately she is very supportive but will ask all kinds of questions that jut make me really defensive and I get snippy and then she gets upset!  Ahh - mother/daughter relationships.

I would wear what you feel comfortable in whether it hightlights your weight loss or not, keep asking questions about her and her life or talk about other family members but if she pushes you - let her know you are proud of what you have accomplished and that you don't want to discuss it to death!

And - big congrats to you on how successful you have been so far!

Ahhhh, Mothers! 
Mine used to constantly "worry" about my weight and talk about how I would be perfect if I just lost 10 lbs, or that I could be a model if I lost some weight, and on, and on.  I weighed 140 lbs in 7th grade and was 5'8".  I was perfect!  But not in my mother's eyes.  She struggled with weight gain after I was born and I think her distress about gaining weight for the first time in her life scared her so much that she started transferring her fear on to me.

The odd thing was that it was my mother who taught me to love food and that food cured all!  She would berate me about losing weight and then offer me cookies and casseroles!

She spent a lifetime worrying about my weight and then after I lost 100 lbs she started worrying that I would get too thin!!!  I guess that's what mothers do...worry about their daughters.

My advice to you?  Be proud of your weight loss!  If she notices and compliments you simply say thank you.  If she asks you how you did it, tell her you eat a high protein diet with very few carbs and you're moving more than you used to.  If she asks you why, tell her that you did it for your health.  Tell her whatever your truths are because she needs to hear from you that you are doing it for you, not her or anyone else.  You're taking your life into your own hands and have worked your butt off, (litterally), to have better health.  You deserve to be the person you invision, the true you!

I know scrutiny can be really difficult but know that whatever she says or doesn't say doesn't really matter.  She's a flawed human like the rest of us and is dealing with her own issues eventhough it seems she's trying to deal with yours.

Celebrate the fact that you took charge and will no longer accept being less than what your heart desires!

I bet she's going to be shocked and really proud of you!

Enjoy the time with your mother as best you can and remember...eating more than you should won't make you feel better or help the stress.  Stick to your plan.  You're worth it!!

Best~
Lisa O.

You are doing great, Barbara, to have lost 80lbs!!!  That's fantastic!!!  Your mom should be proud of you, but I know how moms can be, just know that you have accomplished alot and be proud of yourself, good luck with the visit...

Thanks Ladies.  I can always count on you all to give me the pep talk I need. 
~ Barbara

I think Im gonna like all the supposrt you all give on here! Day #1 of my diet...its only 6:45am and Im so hungry!!