need to whine a little.....

 Ok, so I am throwing a bit of a pity party for myself this weekend, I was banded June 23, and lost 33lbs by last Monday.  I gained back 4 lbs this week.  I am cranky.  I know I probably need a fill, it's about time, but I am having trouble with learning the bandster way of eating.  I forget, then get stuck, and then am good for a day or so, then forget again.  My head is the worst place to be, I know it's an adjustment, and I will get used to it, but I am not reading alot about people that are fighting the old way of eating, eating too much at a time( without the fill I can eat more than I should) I can't get a fill until I learn to not get stuck - ie, eat like i am supposed to.  The mental part is my biggest problem.  Does everyone go through this??? I am supposed to be working positively towards my goal, and working through my food issues, but right now I am having a hard time caring- you would think after spending that much money on surgery I would be more committed, but right now I don't even care.  I am cranky, and feel bad that I am not more motivated, which makes me cranky again.  I am a ball of guilt, and anger, lol.  AND my family has just landed for supper which I am cooking, soooooo...... just letting off steam, would appreciate knowing there are others who are on the psycho train with me!!

I can understand being cranky . I had a huge pity party yesterday :o(  My husband was gone my kid left for the weekend and I was so mad about the scales I ate everything yesterday that I shouldn't be eating.  Well, I shouldn't say not eat, lets say I had alot more then I should have even w hen I wasn't hungry , I still ate.  This is the second time I have done this since my surgery 9 months ago.  So , I have to avoid the scales the next week because of all the crap I took in yesterday .  Totally my fault I let emotional eating get in the way big time yesterday.

You do get in these funks you are in . I have them and I just broke completely down yesterday . I was pissed, I was sad, I was getting tired of always eating healthy, I was tired of working my butt of at Zumba making myself sore and dont lose anything on the scales . I was mad that people that dont have to work at all trying to lose weight knocks off 14 pounds in a month just sitting there .

Yeap , Yeap I had every single emotion going through me on Saturday .  I let it all build up and yesterday I cracked big time.  I'm okay today though I have been watching what I eat again and not hungry  hmm wonder why lol.

When you are getting stuck ask yourself these questions

Are you eating to fast,
are you eating something dry
are you eating to big of a bite

That is what my doc asks us .  If you are not doing anything of these things you might reconsider getting a fill .  A fill might make you even tighter and cause you more problems on eating .  That is one of the reasons why I ha vent gotten a fill yet.  I think getting one would make me to tight and that scares the hell out of me and I dont want to go there so I just dont get fills .

And even though you get a fill you can still eat around that restriction . It dont matter what kind of restriction you have you can always eat around it .  

I can eat way more then my cup of food, but I have just gotten to the point that I know 4 oz of protein , some veggies and a carb is a well balanced meal I eat that and about 20 min later I know I'm satisfied.

You will never get that I'm full feeling again like you did at Thanksgiving or huge meals.  You will get the satisfied feeling.  Not hungry, but then again you are not full either.


 Everybody fights the old way of eating, like I just posted you see what I did this past weekend, but  it gets better and it wont happen as often because you find other things to do instead of turning to food.

This is only the second time since my surgery back in Nov 2010 that I have ate like I did yesterday.   The last time I did this was back in March .  Other then that I'm very good about what I'm suppose to do.  Pizza, chocolate, and chips was my friend yesterday . Today I kicked them friends to the curb


everything you are feeling is normal . I still have them days and I'm 9 months out from surgery .

It gets easier and easier each day I promise.  Alot of things are just becoming second nature now and I dont even think about it . Like going out to eat I take the meat off the bread,  or I get low fat salad dressing ,  I can get a plate of food at a restaurant now and dont have to worry about eating it all because I know I wont .  

You have lost a great deal of weight in a short amount of time, so it is normal for your body to want to take a break from losing.

I was one who had a terrible time learning proper eating techniques. I got surprised by getting a good deal of restriction on my first fill and since I wasn't eating the right way so I ended up getting stuck too often. I finally got some fluid out until I could get a handle on it. HOWEVER, while my band was loose I had to still eat the proper amounts. It is hard work and difficult to maintain dedication but I asked myself if I really wanted to return to my old life. That helped a great deal.

if you are having difficulty in this area you might consider some counseling from someone familiar with eating disorders. Just because we got a band around our stomachs does not mean that our brains are different. That is the hardest part. Please, if you need help get it. You deserve to reap the benefits of this chance at a new life.

Sue

What you're feeling is totally normal.  The mental aspect is the most challenging.  You've gotten some good advice from the other posters.  Are you journaling?  I find it really helps.  Not just logging your food (which is important), but writing down your emotions.  This gets the emotions out, helps you sort things out, and re-examine your goals.  Have your written down your goals?  

I also find that if I think long term, it gets very overwhelming.  I set some small goals each month - goals that are realistic, and that's what I focus on.  Soon enough, they all add up to big results.

Stay strong and focused.  You're still new at this and some days we are better than others.  Forget about yesterday.  Don't think about tomorrow.  Just focus on TODAY.  You can do this!!!
~ Barbara 

Thanks so much for that everyone!! I am going to try to remember to take it all one step at a time, follow the rules, and not give up.  I am so grateful for this forum, not only as a place to post things, but because there's people like you on here who will support a stranger even when she's only whining, lol.  I love you!!! I am going to start a blog I think, of all the feelings I have about this process and get them out, and possibly have something others can read down the road to realize they're not crazy either.  I am nervous of it, the blogging, as I don't normally put myself out there.  This is the first time in my life of all the forums I have been involved in, that I have posted something personal and put it out there.  I so appreciate the words of wisdom from all of you that have been there!!!! Thanks so much!!!!!!

Hi Honeybee,

I just had a big pity party Thursday and Friday. I'm two years out and it took me a LONG time to learn band eating skills. I took my fills really small and slow because I was so afraid of getting stuck and having to "give back the food" (and wrecking my band).  You would think after 2 years of this I would have this stuff down pat. Not. A couple of months ago I had a small unfill and then was too loose. During the time my band was looser, I was so excited to be able to take bigger bites/chew faster I ended up taking way too big bite sizes and getting stuck because of that. 

You know what old saying practice makes perfect? Well that's not always true. I like practice makes progress better. That's what we are all doing here in our own way and time. We are progressing on our weight loss journey. Sometimes that's stalling, sometimes that's having a hard time with band eating skills, sometimes regain. We are always learning and growing.