I need some tough love

My one year bandiversary is approaching and I have come nowhere near reaching my goal.  And, it is all my fault.  I waver between following the rules and breaking them.  I can't seem to get it into my head that this can work for me.  I don't know if it's just because I'm scared, or lazy, or whatever.  I have spent the last eight years seriously overweight.  I am not happy and I know that my weight is a large part of that.  I have tried counseling, and unfortunately, it was not beneficial.  I don't know what to do at this point.  My fill level is relatively loose, but my hunger is controllable.  I've got to get my eating under control and get on track with an exercise routine.

What I am asking for from the OH community is some tough love (and encouragement).

It helps me to schedule my meals --- and have protein with each one.

When I want to eat at a time that is not scheduled, I make myself have a bottle of water (16 - 24 ounces) before I decide that I need food.

Usually, I find that I can wait until my next scheduled meal or snack ----

I have to discipline myself the way you would discipline a child -- I would not let a 4 or 5 year old in my care eat all day long (especially the crappy carby foods I want to eat).

So -- schedule a good breakfast (oatmeal or yogurt or eggs or something else with some protein in it) --- have a piece of fruit if you are hungry mid morning

lunch -- protein rich -- and then veggies and/or carb
snack
Dinner -- protein rich -- and then some veggies and/or carb
Snack

Kath has good advice on the eating part, so I'll address the exercise.

Find something you like to do, whether it be swimming (and not just floating in the pool), walking, riding a bike or taking some class at a gym.  Make it part of your schedule, just like brushing your teeth or going to school/work.

I set out my gym clothes the night before so that I don't have the excuse of "no time to look for my gym clothes".

Give yourself some kind of non food reward for everytime you make it to the gym or complete a home workout session.  It can be a dollar or a gold star on a calendar.  Just something that means something to you!   Then when you accumulate enough dollars or enough gold stars.. go and buy yourself something special (again, non food  ::smile::).

As to the counseling, perhaps that counselor wasn't a good fit for you?  Maybe a different counselor with a different approach might be worth a try.

Good for you for realizing you need help and reaching out.  This is positive sign!

289 to 224. 65lbs not exactly a failure! 65 divided by 12 = over 5lbs a month. Bang in the average loss range!

My advice - stop thinking of what might be and really look at what is now!

You were seriously overweight for 8 year, you say. Well even if you just continue as you are, at the end of just 2 years you will have lost 130lbs.

So, yes. You could devote every thought to staying 100% on track. Or you could just carry on as you are, the easier option but in the long run, successful!!

Me, I eat more healthily when feeling happy and positive. Perhaps that might work for you too!

Kate

You have gotten great advice. I wanted to add something about excersise. Start out slow and gradually increase your intensity/duration. I started out walking slowly on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I now jog on the treadmill for 30 or walk briskly on an incline for 40. There are just too many benefits to working out to pass up. Getting started is really tough for sure. I was about 4 months post-op before I hit the gym. Now I go about 5 days a week. I do weights with a trainer 4 days a week. I haven't learned to love working out but as stated above, it's become a matter of routine. You can do it!

I sent you a private message, hope to hear from you soon.  Good for you for reaching out!!

You have gotten some great advise!  For me it was planning my meals and snacks, drinking my water, and exercise.  I am a slow loser, and some of that is my fault.  But since I didn't put this weight on in 1 year, I'm OK if it takes some time to get it off, as long as the scale is going down.  As Weigh****cher's says " If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."  I also think we sometimes sabotage ourselves because we have failed at so many other "diets" before.  To my way of thinking, you have a good start, and you have to just begin to plan the rest of it.  YOU CAN DO THIS!

Okay, here is my tough love (but remember you asked for it ;)
The truth is... No one is going to lose this weight for you!  No one is going to MAKE you lose it!  Good thing about it is YOU will reap the benefits and you owe it to yourself to do this.  Get focused on why you had the surgery, what you want in life and at least for a while, nothing else matters.  Sometimes it IS okay (and necessary) to get a little selfish to get what you want (especially when it comes to your health).  The fact that you have wavered is human and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it.  Just change it, NOW.  and if you mess up again, start again.  We only get one life, but we get a thousand chances to get it right!  The only way you're gonna fail at this is if you give up!  Set a short term goal and make it happen... YOU'RE WORTH IT!