I'm such a failure

Hey There Kate,

Yesterday I saw an old friend of mine for the first time in quite awhile. She was always very skinny
( skinny to me ) and so beautiful. When she saw me she said, " OMG look how skinny you are "  The very first thing that popped out of my mouth was this, " Yeah but it was very painful to get to this point so I'm not sure how I feel about it "

Some days even with everything I have been through with this band I think I would do it again, but most days I feel as if I wouldn't or I wish that I had had the option of the sleeve made available to me back then. IDK I feel very conflicted about this 

I started my research in 2004 for weight loss surgery on a site called WLSfriends.com ( I can't find it anymore or it looks completely different now and I don't recognize it. Anyways I learned about OH on that site.
The funny part is is that they were all complaining about how mean and un-supportive everyone here was,well that and all the drama. Because of that I decided to come over here and check it out. I find that the " drama " was in fact a better way for me to learn about the pros and cons of both sides of any WLS type.

I was addicted to this site and read everything I possibly could about WLS. I spent I'm guessing almost two years reading here and other sites and I actually felt at the time I had put in my due diligence.

Unfortunately for me my timing was off because I really had no knowledge of the sleeve and if I did....I really don't remember hearing about it at all. It was the RNY or the band. Nobody was really discussing the DS all that much either.

Well actually they were fighting about it, and at the time I wasn't smart enough to separate from my emotions so that I could objectively research that option. I was so set on the lap band after rejecting the RNY that I let myself get caught up in the possessive and harmful protect your surgery choice mentality rather then view it openly and objectively.

Part of the problem we had back then was we weren't allowed to complain about our surgery choice or we were run off the boards, now we are getting closer and closer to to what I believe is a forum that we are all trying harder at respecting everybodys right to post be it negative or positive and that IMO is what makes OH the most informative WLS website. OH is able to look past the cries of those that consider people like myself a " Band Basher " and instead view me as a person with a story to share.

Side note here : I'm not talking about the older angrier version of my self

I think it's great that we now have the choices we have. In fact we have BETTER choices today then we did back in 2004 when I was researching.

What makes it so scary to people to have their stomach cut out that they would still choose lap band over sleeve ?

I admit upon waking from surgery ( band removal ) I was terrified when I was told I was sleeved, but after living with the band and now living with the sleeve. I finally know for certain that it is not supposed to be painful when I eat. NOT THE SLIGHTEST PAIN when I eat. OMG it makes me so happy and words cannot express how I feel.

I always thought some pain was normal when eating because I thought that was the way the band worked, because it was that way for me since the very first sip of water in the hospital back in 2006.

In hind site I learned that even though my daughter who weighed 56 lbs more then I did, and we both had surgery the same day, and had the same size bands.....Her stomach was thinner then mine. Yes she tolerated her band better then I ever did mine, but she still had problems almost from the get go.

My band and in hind site because it wasn't until our second band surgeries when I learned this was too small, but at that time it was the biggest. My stomach wall was thicker then my daughters and like I said in hind site I should never have gotten even one fill, but who knew ??? I sure didn't and apparently neither did my surgeon or technology at the time.

Even with today's newer and improved bands the same is going to hold true for the same exact reasons. We all have different size stomach walls and their are not enough band choices to go around for everybody which is a good indicator of why some of us need more fill and others need less fill and still others never needed their first fill, or in my case any size band was going to be too tight from the beginning.

I guess I'm rambling here and these are just more things for pre-ops to consider. Knowing what I know now....I just don't understand why someone would still choose the band for their restrictive only procedure. I know some ins companies will not cover the sleeve, but I see people fighting their insurance companies and winning.

Just yesterday I read on the main forum that BCBS-NC updated their Surgery for Morbid Obesity policy on July 1, 2011. They're now covering sleeve gastrectomies

www.obesityhelp.com/forums/amos/4426846/BCBS-North-Carolina- covers-the-sleeve/

OMG I'm still rambling.....

Pumpkin, ramble away! That's what this site should be for. It swings dramatically from extremes. Some times it becomes too pink rainbows, other times it becomes too aggressively doom laden.

Posts like your**** the happy medium which we should aim for! We should get all views; it is just so much nicer and in fact so much more effective when the messages are phrased without aggression - as this post of yours is!

You went through such a bad time. The sleeve seems to be the way forward for you. My very best wishes!

Kate

 6 years and holding. still overweight but I function like a normal person, and the peace of mind from weighing the same for several years is a joy I never experienced my previous 50 years on earth. I have had no complications, and am grateful for that too.

I just wanted you to know that when I do see someone who has been banded for as long as you have and with no severe complications it really does make me happy for that person.

Congratulations on your successful weight loss and for maintaining it as well. All WLS are a tool and we really do have to use them as a tool. I myself have also maintained my weight loss for all five years I have had it, and I know I have to remain proactive with my eating choices as well as exercise ( when I am physically able to get it in )

CONGRATULATIONS on your success

Thank you Dev.

I can so relate on the head hunger issue.  

How come you didnt notice your slip? How was it prepaired? Congrats on your Journey!

Oh I never said I didn't notice it. I had a "dynamic" slip...it would slip, then by the time I got in for an upper GI it would have returned to a normal position. I had plenty of symptoms, such as intermittent obstruction. This happened several times before we caught it "in the act." The important thing is, I never ignored my symptoms, at the first sign of trouble I always saw my doctor, and then my original doctor didn't treat my concerns as seriously as I wished, I CHANGED DOCTORS!

Thanks for your post Dev.  I too have had my band a while and I'm not where I would like to be.  However no slips or complications with my band.  My setbacks are my own.  Like you, this is the first time in my life that my weight loss has stayed off.  I have not been this size in over 20 years.  I am happy I chose the band.  I've come to realize the struggle is never over just controlled.
Z

Some people have a problem that requires a screwdriver, others need a really big hammer or a table saw. Used incorrectly, all of them can hurt you. Used correctly, accidents still happen and you can lose an eye or an arm.

I suppose you needed the "screwdriver".  I did too until I got "screwed" in the ass by the Lap Band!  and  I've never really done that in real life.  What is up with you these days?  I am glad your band is working and I hope is keeps on working.  I would not want you to go through what I went through or what any other people with complications or band removals have gone through.  It sucks!

Where was I going with this analogy?

This is where you were going Dev  (nah nah, nah, nah, I still have my band, I never had complications, nah, nah, nah, nah T-H-E- 
B-A-N-D  I-S  F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C and I still have it . . . and deep down in my gut it scares me that I could have another complication with my band so I got to puff myself up!

You feel good about yourself when you pull this type of ****  Probably not, because I know you are a cool person.

Wow, way to project your own issues and not actually read anything, since I openly pointed out that I DID have a complication.
I'm open to have a revision to a different surgery should I need one as well.