stuck in my weight but for all the wrong reasons!

I don't have much to add. Everyone said what I would have. I just wanted to give you a

Warren--
You are doing awesome on your weight loss with or without support.  When my husband brings something into the house that "calls my name", I ask him to hide it so I won't see it every day.  That helps me.  It might help you.  I'm sorry you aren't getting your wife's support, but we OHers are here to help and encourage whenever we can.

You've gotten excellent advise already so I'll just throw in a couple of things. Life changes always cause conflict no matter what the changes are. It's how you handle them that makes a difference. I would suggest that you both get in for some counciling and if she isn't interested then go on your own so you can make decisions about your future life. Just remember you have to live your life and you really in the end can't change another person so do what you have to do to have a good life.

Warren,

I'm so sorry to hear you guys are having a tough time.  My husband was PISSSSSED that I was having the surgery.  He still isn't happy now, but I had it, because I had to for me.    I told him I have X-Y-Z wrong w/ my health and in order for me to be here in 10 years w/ you and the kids, I have to have this done, no if ands or buts...I did it.  I think you need to sit her down and talk to her.  Tell her that you cant eat this or that and tell her why.  I have brought diagrams in the house to show him, how my belly has changed and things like that...He thinks that its just stupid and crazy that I can't drink with my meals.  But he still brings a drink to the table and so do my kids.  I guess I have learned to ignore it or just shrug it off....

I think that he was so afraid that I would get "skinny" and find someone eles and leave him.  Have you tried to "calm" her nerves/fears about you leaving? 

I know that probably didn't help much, but if you need to chat, let me know!!  I'm here buddy!!

Donna Marie's response pretty much said what I was going to say, but Warren, you deserve a healthy and happy life!  The thing is, YOU  have to reach out and grab it! 

Your situation is pretty common on this site.  So many people don't have the support they need from their spouse.  Many bandsters still bring crap foods into their own homes to try to please husbands and kids.  Somehow you are going to have to take control of the food while you work out the other issues with your wife.  Either get a locker for her to store all the crap and give her the key or offer to take over the grocery shopping.  It will be a huge change in your life, your schedule and the dynamic at home, but you must take control!

I highly recommend marriage couseling.  If there are kids involved, it's ALWAYS worth the effort!

I pray that you resolve your marital issues, but in the meantime, don't waste your band tool!  What are you wiling to do to lose the weight?  We can give you all the tips in the world, but ultimately YOU have to choose whether or not you're going to use them.

I believe you can do it!  If I can, anyone can!

I'm hear for you!  Ask anything and I'll do my best to help you, help yourself.

Best~
Lisa O.

Everyone has had great suggestions.  It's all up to you as far as your food intake and your exercise.  Come to this board for support.  We understand the band life and are always willing to try and help. 

Challenge yourself to get as healthy as you can.  Get some counseling to deal with all the changes. 

Best wishes to you,
Kristi

That was the first thing I was told during my consultation. They said if you have a weak marriage before the surgery, then it would probably end in divorce after the surgery. Support is so important to be successful. Did she not want you to get the surgery? I'm so sorry you are going thru this with her. It sounds like she is sabotaging your efforts to lose weight. Could it be that she is afraid of you losing weight? Maybe becoming a little upset with the thought of other women looking at you or something? It's true that when you lose weight you will gain more confidence in yourself. I know I have. I agree with the person *****plied and said they no longer take crap from people. I am the same way. I dont back down and try to hide anymore. It is a very hard situation for you to be in. I wish you the best of luck on your weight loss journey. :)