Just wanting to admit this really quick

So I very seldom post on here which I should do more often but I really need to get this out really quick...

Today I went to lunch with DF and I wanted to just go home because I was going to make myself a turkey sandwhich and behave myself. But he insisted that he wanted to go my favorite mexican restaurant. Usually I order a salad and avoid the chips and salsa and don't drink with my meal BUT not this time for some reason. Then I went back to work and attacked the chocolate in the breakroom. It was like when I got back to work I felt myself spiral out of control and now all I can think of is what did I just do?

so this is what I made myself do...I wrote down on a piece of paper this information....

WHAT LED ME OFF TRACK TODAY?
1st) I have been frustrated this week because I have been walking and eating right trying to get back on track and haven't lost ANY weight =(

2nd) I am not feeling good today. I have a headache and I think I am getting a chest cold. I am stressed because I was sick and crabby this morning and was frustrated with my step children and just very irritated and thats not how I wanted to spend my morning. And I am also stressed because of daycare issues with my kids. Just stressed all the way around.

3rd) My DF insisted we go to a restaurant and not home.

4th) Didn't eat right at the restaurant...ate the chips, ordered a quesadilla and drank with my food

5th) Was wanting cheese puffs (that I wanted yesterday but talked myself out of trying to behave) and they were all gone so I said screw it and had a twix and a kit kat bar.....THEN i went back for MORE!! I figured I had already screwed everything up for the day so might as well indulge =(

SO HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME FEEL?

1) like a failure for not having more willpower

2) Sad because I feel like I messed up again

3) Disappointed in myself I should be stronger than that and should be able to make better choices

WHAT WILL I TRY DIFFERENT NEXT TIME?

INSIST we eat a healthy meal at home

If that's not possible then resist the chips and order the salad

Thank you for reading this. Please don't bash me for this horrible mistake I made. I just needed to vent and hold myself accountable for this. Thanks again.

Sounds like PMS to me.  Don't beat yourself up.  Allow yourself to be human.

Oh goodness I hope its not PMS LOL i shouldnt have that again for a few weeks =)

I think I am just super stressed. I found out I have a cyst on my ovary and so I'm always cramping and can't do anything strenuous or I bleed. I found out my daycare provider gave my child and stepchildren melatonin to make them sleep without my permission so she has been drugging them to get them to sleep. I can't find any other childcare here in town. There are no daycare openings anywhere. I have been calling nonstop. I can't quit working or take time off so I don't know what to do right now. I am just so upset about it and want to cry and I think that might be part of it too.

That does sound stressful.  A situation like that would send me into a literal feeding frenzy.  Good luck with the child care.  I hope you find good daycare quickly.

With your hormones out of whack that just adds to the stress.

Good luck, you sound like you have the right mindset to stay on track most of the time.

I would not call this a "horrible mistake".  This is for life and we can't be perfect every single minute.  You didn't make the best choices, but this is only one day and as long as it's not an everyday occurrence, you will do just fine. 

Hugs,
Kristi

I guess I am upset I did this because i was sabotaging myself for like 2 months and have spent the past week and a half trying to get back on track and then I go and do this....I gained 7 pounds in 2 months =(

I think you're handling this great.  You are being proactive so you are ready for the next time the urge hits to eat too much or badly.  I can tell you,  we all have done it....even the successful ones.  The difference between the successful one and the not so successful ones is that they get back on track right away and start eating right again. 

I have messed up numerous times.  I am 2 1/2 years out and I sometimes over do it.  I admit to this because I have lost 150+ lbs so far and me going off track once in awhile hasn't stopped me from doing well...why???  Because I make a mistake and I recover from the mistake and continue on.  It's easy to think...well I screwed up by eating this donut this morning, I might as well go for McDonald's for lunch too....see what I mean.  If anything when I screw up it makes me more careful the rest of the day and might add an extra mile to my workout...hahaha 

Good luck and yes you should post more often..

" I recover from the mistake and continue on".  That is such great advice and encouragement.  I teared up reading this (corny I know) because this is so true.  I think this is the most important thing to learn when trying to lose weight.  I think people would be more successful with this whole weight loss thing if we learned to stick to this very simple but important rule.  Thank you!

Just remember, this is our tool.  It has not changed who you are as a person...SO, know that you are dealing with a lot right now and let your lunch go and JUMP BACK ON!  Start over right now, not tomorrow, not Monday, right now.  Go for a walk, have a big glass of water and be proud of what you have accomplished so far!!

Thank You!! I will do that!!