Over a year out...NEED HELP!

 To all senior lap-banders! I NEED YOU!!!!!!!

I am in a depressing rut. I had my band put in March of 2010. I went in weighing 334lbs and am lingering around 295lbs right now. My lowest weight has been 284 since the band. I am in need of high motivation. I don't know where to even begin.

My band is about half full right now and i haven't went to get another fill in months. I am making horrible food choices and i tend to "Eat around the band".  As i write this, i know i should be answering my own questions but i guess i just need to hear tips and words of motivation to people who know what i'm going through.

I feel like a failure, addicted to food, and somehow considering other surgeries (which is a long shot, being as my insurance covered the band the first time and i doubt they will cover a 2nd surgery). 

I know i should go back to the basics, But i forget what that is exactly. Please...if anybody could offer words of advice and encouragement. Thanks!

Brandi u never mention restriction. Do you have it? B/c if not it's just like trying to lose weight BEFORE you got the band.

Your insurance may or may not cover a revision. Many insurance companies are starting a "one WLS per lifetime" stipulation in many of their policies.

Now even if u do have restriction though, u need to change your eating habits. And yes..........I know that is much easier said than done!

Good luck!

The 2 things that help me the most are planning and logging. I try to make sure I have some quick to grab snacks so I don't have to figure out what to eat. One of my all time favs is fat free cream cheese spread on thin deli ham with a little slice of pickle inside and rolled up. I make up a container full for a quick bite or just a cheese stick works too.
Then log your food so you can see where you are with what you are eating. First just log what you are eating now, then in a few days study it and see where you can make better choices. IF I do these 2 things I can do pretty well of course you have to actually do it, that is my problem!

Brandi,

I was EXACTLY where you are about 9 months ago. My girlfriend got the sleeve (which I then decided I wanted) and I felt like a band failure after dropping 60 lbs fairly steadily and then beginning to eat around the band. I stalled for about 8 months and it was completely my own doing.

So, one day I woke up, joined Weigh****chers for accountability and joined a gym, signed up for personal training in March and never looked back. I've lost about 35 more lbs since then and even more inches. I'm still focused on the weight loss, but my body is changing and my stamina is increasing. THIS is what I'm trying to focus on and it's working. I'm doing things I never thought I would or could do. And I'm 292 lbs - YOU can do this!

Nothing anyone says here is going to get you to not eat around the band and get your butt off the couch - at least it never did for me. I tend to overthink things and that leads to excuses and reasons why I can't.  For some reason, when I joined the gym, I just did it and didn't think about it. I immersed myself into the environment there (the trainers helped with that) and faced such huge fears by just doing it. For the first 2 weeks of personal training, I cried on the drive home every time. I think it was a release of fear and years of failure at this weight loss thing. Now, it's part of my life.

I know my story is probably very different from yours and the financial commitment of training is significant and not possible for everyone. But there's always something you can do. Believe me, I NEVER in a million years thought I would be one of those gym people. But I'm changing my life and every day when I wake up, I just want to stay in bed. But I don't. I think the accountability of the weekly weigh-ins and knowing that my trainer is going to track my measurements, weight, body fat, etc. is a HUGE motivator for me. Find what works for you - don't quit - know that whatever you do to lose the weight, you will have to do forever. That part is hard to take sometimes but it really does get easier. Feel free to PM me if you need an accountability buddy. You CAN do this!!

Sorry you are having a tough time. I suggest you make 1 change at a time. Maybe first try getting all your water in, 64oz at least. Then you can work on your diet, high protein/lowcarb/lowfat. I basically eat eggs for breakfast, and lean meat and protien for lunch and dinner. I have a snack or 2 a day, lowfat cheese sticks and 1/4cup nuts. You also need to excersise, it is a huge piece of the puzzle. As the above post talks about, a personal trainer is totally worth the investment. I love mine, it really keeps you accountable. If you can afford at least a few weeks I say go for it. You can lean some moves to do on your own. If you can make it a continual thing, all the better. Good luck and keep us posted on how your doing!

Like Jennifer R I just woke up one day and started to go to the gym and workout.  As I started to lose weight I added more time and more intensity to my workouts.  It was like someone flipped a switch and all of the sudden I wanted this weight off and I didn't what I had to do to get it off.  That was 10 months ago.  I was banded 2 1/2 years ago and lost 150 lbs.  Most of that 150 lbs I lost after I started to workout. 

I still cheat once in awhile...but it's not as big of a deal since I workout 9+ hours a week.  I still have temptations and I still give into them once in awhile.  The difference is I have more a motivation to use will power since I lost all of this weight.   

Are you eating around your band because it hurts to eat solid protein and veggies or is it just because bad food calls your name?

However, sometimes having restriction makes you want to eat around the band even more.  Overcoming this calls for action and commitment on your part.

Get all of the junk out of the house.  Don't buy anymore for anyone.  Make a list of the healthy foods you enjoy that are high protein and or low carb.  Keep these food on hand and pack your lunch if you work.  Make a food plan that calls for 1200 to 1500 calories and below 60 grams of carbs.   See how you do, then adjust accordingly.  Track you food on fitday or a similar site. 

Don't worry about the fat content because fat makes food taste good and it is definitely the lesser of the two evils between bad carbs and fat.  Do chose healthy fats, like olive oil and stay away from processed foods of any kind.  Sugar is your enemy in any attempt at weight loss.

Try to walk everyday even if it is just for 10 minutes to start.  Walking is each, cheap and effective at helping you lose weight and keep it off.

That's all I got for now, good luck.

Edited to add:

Come here daily for support.  Give it and receive it.  Respond to those you respond to you.  It will help keep you accountable.

Excellent post, Phyllis!

Lisa O.

Well said Phyllis!  I'm keeping a copy of this one.

I'm sorry you're feeling so defeated, Brandi!  These "ruts" in the road are part of the journey and happen to all of us eventually along the way, but you can overcome! 

You've mentioned both depression and addiction in your post and since the others have covered how to get back to basics, I just want to recommend therapy.

There probably isn't one person on this forum that doesn't or didn't at one time, turn to food for comfort or to avoid other emotions and life's struggles.  It's just the way most of us are wired or how we learned to deal with pain, joy, disappointment, etc.  I am totally an emotional eater so when I started this journey I did so knowing that at some point I was going to bite the bullet and try therapy.  I waited a year post op but after I lost 100 lbs and it got harder and harder to drop more weight, I knew it was finally time to addresss the real issues behind my obesity. 

I found a therapist that specializes in eating disorders and compulsive over-eating and it's been awesome!  I quickly found out that it's not at all about my physiology, but about how I was brought up and how I was taught to deal with emotion, all emotion, which was basically to not acknowledge it, but stuff it down.  Food is my weapon of choice becaue the immediate high it gives me helped avoid feelings very effectively, until the guilt set in because of the weight gain, the binge, the hiding of food, and the realization that I was completely out of control when it came to eating. 

Through therapy I have a few tools now that if I stop long enough to use them are very effective to help me avoid going to the fridge when I'm bored, stressed, happy, sad and everything in between.  But most importantly I'm learning about why I am the way I am and that it is possible to change.  It's not always easy to confront my past but it's very freeing when I do.

Well, this is just my opinion, but I think therapy goes hand-in-hand with diet and exercise when it comes to conquering obesity.  We have to learn to stop the old behaviors that made us obese and there's a lot more to it than just eating less if we want to fully heal and live the lives we are meant to live.

Also, in regard to depression, if you're not already taking an anti-depressant you may want to have that conversation with your PCP.  Several years ago I was outwardly a successful business woman, seemingly on top of the world, but inside I was a mess.  I had anxiety disorder and depression as a result.  Anti-depressants saved my life.  There's no shame in seeking help for a chemical issue that you don't have any control over!

Take care,

You CAN do this!  NEVER give up!

Lisa O.