An open letter to OH, MODS, ERIC KLEIN, and YOU

 Dear readers:

I feel it's time to put my cards on the table and lay out my feelings about OH and the arbitrary actions of its moderators. I - and a large number of other users - am tired of being attacked by one person *****peatedly and notoriously spreads lies, misinformation and personal attacks about me and dozens of other users who disagree with her, then blocks us so we are unable to respond or report her post(s) to the moderators. 

When I have been able to report a post, nothing happens. When I reply on the forum, the only means OH leaves available after I am blocked, my posts get moderated and removed, but HERS are allowed to remain. This nonsense has gone on too long, and the fact the OH allows it to continue is repugnant.

I've been on here for eight years and feel I've had done a lot of all of OH users, as they have done for me. I can't even begin to count the number of people I have directed to the site, recommending it as a wonderful resource for anyone considering weight loss surgery or even people just dealing with obesity issues in general. Unfortunately, as time has passed, OH seems to have lost its focus on helping people and appears far more interested in its advertisers than it is in its users. While I do understand that making money is important, it seems to be the only focus OH has anymore. Your users are now secondary, at best.

I've tried to lift your users' spirits and support them (not enough for one person's liking, apparently), I've tried to make suggestions on improving our journey and ways to deal with plateaus, eating problems, PBs, stuck episodes and poor attention from our surgeons. I've bared my soul about pretty much everything and - as far as I know - never shied away from answering a question about any aspect of my band experience.

I've tried to make them laugh. I've offered a place to vent and ***** I've given them nudges in what I think will be the right direction and online kicks in the ass when they've needed them and (literally) asked for them. I've shared articles that I've written to inspire them. Yes, THE EASY WAY OUT and HOW MUCH WEIGHT HAVE YOU LOST? are MINE, regardless of how many people repost them as theirs.

I've shared exercise routines, recipes, jokes, life and death, highs and lows. And I have gotten as much from my time here as I have attempted to give.

My band road has not been a smooth one without bumps and turns. I've offered my experience both for inspiration and an example of what is possible, as well as a cautionary tale about listening to our bodies and our doctors.

But enough is enough. I ask you to look at how many long-time band patients (5+ years out) and see how many post anymore. There aren't many, are there?

While they leave for a number of reasons, the most frequent one is that they are tired with the arbitrary way OH mods deal with the persons who spread lies about them - and about the band - and is allowed to continue. Is it because she is an unflagging band cheerleader, who tries to tell everyone that the band ALWAYS works, that any band FAILURE is caused by the user and not the band? Does that make your pro-band advertisers happy? Do her shenanigans and multiple hits get you more advertisers? By the way, I am NOT the only one asking that question. I'm just the only one who, apparently, will ask you directly.

I have tried, as recently as last week, to pull back from OH without pulling away completely. I feel I need to stay to help newbies and longer-out patients alike to give them more than one side to their band life, but every time I pull back, I get made aware, by my FRIENDS on the band forum, that there are half-truths being spread yet again about both the band experience and some people who have the band.

In the next couple of days, I'll have to evaluate whether I even want to bother with this anymore. On one hand, I don't really need the added stress in my life. I have enough of that, thank you. But on the other hand, I still think the band forum users can benefit from the experiences of more than one long-time bandster and that my words have value to them, too.

I fully expect that me even asking these questions, pulling these issues into the light and posting this will result in, at minimum, this post being pulled, so I will be CCing it to Eric Klein's account as well. For those of you who don't know, Eric is the man who founded OH, with a nobel intent:

to help reach the 5 million plus people (there are this many in just the United States alone!) who suffer from morbid obesity. If you are looking for information on treatment of this condition, looking for fun and companionship with peers with similar experiences, looking for ways to help fight discrimination against obesity, or (hopefully) looking for all three, then you've come to the right place.

I hope that Eric can find a way to steer OH and its focus back to where it belongs: on the people who need help.

And to all you OH users and readers - at least the ones who get to read this before it gets pulled -if you notice that I am suddenly a "deactivated member", you will know why. I wish you all the best of experiences with your weight loss, no matter what method you choose. I have had a tremendous amount of fun being with you and have learned a lot from you all, and something new from your individually.

This is not a "goodbye, cruel forum" post. I don't know what is going to happen after I post this. I just wanted to put my feelings out there for you. Agree or disagree, but here they are. Let's see if my feelings and my words will be allowed to stay here.


With love to you all,
Bette B

 I'm sure that this will be removed as well, but anyone who wants to send me their comments - even if I'm no longer here - can email to [email protected]

Dear Bette,
I have never posted before.  I have been a "lurker" for the 6 years since I got my band.  I just wanted you to know that you have helped me on my journey more than you could ever know.  Your humor makes me smile when I'm going through rough times. Your vast knowledge has been a great source of encouragement  (even though not directly meant for me).  Why am I choosing NOW to finally participate?  It ****** me off the way you are being treated, and although you don't know me, I just wanted to let you know how much you are appreciated by me.  Thank you for all of  your help, and hopefully it will continue in the future.
Regards,  Liz

Am I to assume our whole discourse from last night is now... discontinued? In spite of the levity? Apparently, this site is happier when people are at each others' throats, rather than having some fun?

 Yeah, pretty much. I posted a pic of a chicken pooping, and that was pulled. REALLY, OH??

I'm ready to just take everything to Facebook. They're not kowtowing to their advertisers.

 BTW - 

You can't believe everything you read on the internet.
~Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln didn't say that. Moses did.

Sincerely,
Regina Phalanges-Bananahammock
Goddess of all I survey

They said it at the same time, for cryin' out loud, Bette. I just happen to like Lincoln's beard better, so I chose him over Moses.

Saint Taint
Countess Corduroy, Vicar of Vas Deferens, Lord of Subcutaneous Nether regions.

 You're right. Abe rocks that beard!

 

So is Ben masquerading as Abe now? I've heard of trolls, but that's ridiculous.