NSV for me...the single girl!!!

So I have been single for a very long time (single mom to a teen daughter...enough said!). I've been avoiding dating for a long time, partly because I am a single mom and its tough and partly because I have been too scared "that no guys will every like a fat girl like me". So I finally started to live for myself, do things I enjoy and guess what...guys have actually been interested in me! Sure I've had the typical losers show interest in me when I was heavier (barflies, emotionally unavailable jackasses, game players, losers with no jobs and/or live with their parents, etc. etc. etc.) But recently I actually have met good and decent guys!

Sure some of it has been from my 73# weight loss so far, but I am realizing that I actually have gained A LOT of confidence and am realizing what all my friends and family have been telling me over the years...and that is that I DO have a lot to offer. Trust me, that's a big thing for me to admit! So what I am saying is that out of many NSV's that I have experienced since my WLS journey, the best has been the start of a confident and happier me!

Congrats Danielle !  that's a fantastic NSV,  continue to enjoy life

You are beautiful, Danielle.  I'm sure you will find a wonderful man who will appreciatel you for who you are.

Where do you meet theese gusy? I am sick of the bar scene, I don't drink and never met anyone of substance there. I joined match.com for 3 months, with only one date. Any advice?

Don't give up!  I met this handsome guy on match.com 4 years ago when I weighed 330 lbs.  (It is possible though I never really believed that anyone could love me at that weight).  7 months later we got married.  Unless I found the last man on earth that can see past weight, he's out there for you too!  Don't give up and don't settle.  Keep doing what you're doing and the confidence you gain from doing something good for yourself will shine through.  I had to realize that it wasn't the weight that kept me single for 20 years after my first marriage, it was MY attitude and my low self-esteem that did it.  It took a great leap of faith to put myself "out there", but God blessed me not only with a handsome man, but a kind, funny, employed, sweetie!

Best~
Lisa O.

Here we are 2007



Here we are, 2010

LUCKY PUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great NSV!!!   And so glad you realize you have a LOT to offer.  The man you meet will be one lucky guy!!
~ Barbara 

From one single gal to another.  I was a single mom too...for years.  Except my daughter is grown up now and graduated college last year.  I'm still not out dating.  I find I'm scared ****less.  I have signed up for one of those dating sites and the minute I started to get some responses I froze and never replied back to the responses (I know that's mean).  I guess even though I lost 150 lbs I still feel like the fat girl and I don't think anyone will find me attractive once they see me in person.  Also, the thought of getting intimate with someone and I have to get naked (I have some lose skin) I'm afraid of getting naked in front of some guy and then to have him touch me...it all scares me.  I also have these thoughts "well I have done fine without a man in my life for 15 years why do I need one now" or "what if the next man is as abusive and mean as the last one" or "what if he breaks me heart" and a million other thoughts.  Were you ever scared???

As far as the losers go...OMG I work with a few very pretty, smart, funny great girls and they are with the biggest losers.  One doesn't have a job or a car.  Another one has a job but spends her money too.  I have a list of what I want in a guy and the top of the list is...job, home of his own, car and most importantly if he has kids does he pay child support (I won't go near a guy that won't pay child support.  Not after what  went through) and is he active in his kid's life. 

Bottom line is last year and this year one of my New Year's resolutions was to go on a date...of course I haven't.  I guess the way some people are afraid of spiders is how I'm afraid of men.  I haven't told anyone this...but I figured you guys will understand. 

Lisa...you are a lucky girl! How handsome! Its great to hear stories like that and it gives us ladies hope that there are actually nice guys out there! I met the guy I am "talking to" now at my Aunt's wedding last month. He's so nice and I am so not used to that...its great! In general, I find that guys are more open to talk to me now than before no matter where I am at, whether the grocery store, a wedding, etc. I Sure some of it is because I'm a lot smaller than before, but its also because I am happier and more open - not so intimidated like I was before.

Crystal, I know exactly how you are feeling! Even though I think this guy is into me, I still have that little voice in the back of my head saying he won't like you so don't get your hopes up. When he asked me out on our first date, I was trying to make excused why I couldn't go out with him because I was scared.  I finally just talked my self down and realized I have to put myself out there. Prince charming is not going to come knocking on my door on a Saturday night while watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". So all us single ladies who are interested...let's make a pact, we will push each other this year to get ourselves out there!! No more excuses, okay?!?