feeling down

I am feeling very down lately. I have started gaining weight again, 3 of my good friends have passed away and my sister and I have not spoken in 2 years and it really is bothering me. I need to know how I cna get back on track and start losing agin, another problem when I was heavy before my husband was more attentive and then when I lost the weight he isn't but he does encourage me to lose it I just don't know what to do 

Have you thought of trying a free grief support group? they have them at a lot of hospitals. It is a good way to get your feelings out without eating them and being with people who truly understand your terrible feelings of loss.

Also there is therapy that can be done on a sliding scale fee thru social agencies such as the United Way. I have found that to be very helpful when dealing with something heart wrenching.

And lastly there are many wls support groups that can help you get back on track with your eating. It is great that you want to catch it early because putting the weight back on will make you feels so much worse in the long run.

Good luck to you!

Very good advice Stephanie!

I know how things can go from bad to worse.  Back in February my dad died.  My sister (like you ) are not on good terms and haven't talked in awhile.  Then when I needed her most my best friend stopped talking to me for reasons unknown to me.  I don't know why she won't tell me.  I think it's because I'm doing well with my band and she gained all her weight back. 

When things were really bad I just had a good cry and thought of the good things I do have.  I have my daughter and a good circle of friends.  I didn't wallow in it and I avoided the food trap.  I also exercised my butt off.   

As for your husband you are losing weight for you and your health.  If he can't see that being obese shortens your life span and decreases the quality of your life then maybe he doesn't love you as much as he should.  You deserve a long healthy life and don't let your husband or sister probles or your sad loss of friends derail you. 

Thank your reply

Joanne,

You have my sympathy. About a year ago, I was jobless for 11 months, then started a new job, my mother passed away, I tried (unsuccessfully, but I did try) to reconcile with my estranged brother, plus I had a band slip and my port flipped. I regained 25 pounds during all of that. Try not to beat yourself up about the weight thing because when you have a lot of heavy emotional things going on, I believe it's more important to deal with your emotions first and then deal with the weight when everything else has calmed down. I can juggle a lot of things, but multi-tasking is highly overrated, and I can barely keep 1 ball in the air when I'm upset, depressed, angry, or whatever. I'm not saying you should use your emotional problems as an excuse to go crazy with food - that won't help - but do your best to take good care of yourself.

In addition to grief support groups and counseling, you could attend Overeaters Anonymous meetings (go to oa.org to look for lists of meetings near you), and/or seek pastoral counseling if you belong to a church, and/or reach out to your sister, and/or have a heart-to-heart talk with your husband, and/or have a band refresher consultation with your bariatric surgeon and/or nutritionist, and/or attend WLS support group meetings, and/or reach out to another WLS patient . As you read the OH forums, you probably see posts by members whose success or style or attitude you admire. Ask one (or more) of them if they'd be your accountability partner. My accountability partner and I communicate (via e-mail, OH PM, or telephone) once a day to commit our daily food plans to each other, talk about how the previous day's eating went, and chat about anything else related to our WLS journey or that's of mutual interest - for example, my partner and I are both dog lovers, so we tell a lot of dog stories in addition to talking about what we ate for lunch.

Hope you feel better soon!

Jean