I don't know what to do any more please help me

Where do I star I have been off for a while and I feel soo ashamed of myself. It all started with my mother in-law death; than I started eating everything in sight and sometimes I would throw up and than go back to eating. I keep telling myself that I would get back on track tomorrow than tomorrow will came and I will do it all over again. Right now I'm living with my mom and sister for the summer and they are no help my mom keep make cake and sweets, when I complain she would tell me "I'm not on a diet you are". This is true but is soo hard I can't say no to sweets. I don't have a gym to go to out here and I have 2 young kids so it kind of hard to go out to jog. I'm a type of person who works out better when I do it with someone to push me and motivate me but I don't have that out here. Sometimes I wish that I lived close to someone that has WLS. I don't know what to do any more please help me

Hey there,

Start with the reasons that got you to the point of needing bariatric surgery; don't let the pressures of life keep you off track. I'm a 2 time lap band recipient, and let me tell you, you do not want to be throwing up b/c that can cause band slippage and result in having to have your band removed and a replace like I did. You have to count what you want out of weight loss, and shake the depression, because let me tell you, losing your band is no joke. Remember what your goals were going in to this; you don't have to jog, when those kids sleep/nap, you make yourself a workout by walking, biking, doing something for no less than 30 mins a day. You have to want this badly enough to make it work; outside of that there's not much any of us can do but encourage you to get focused, and get your self back on track. May God bless your endeavors, but they are just that YOUR endeavors.

I think we all have had to live in conditions that aren't conducive for weight loss at one point or another.  Since yours will be long term you will have to make some changes.  Since you sound like me and can't seem to help yourself when it comes to cakes and cookies (and there's no such thing as a little bit...I eat too much).  For me it's best to avoid these foods as best as you can.  If that means you don't go into the kitchen...then don't go into the kitchen.  I find the longer I am away from these foods the easier they are to resist.  I was a huge candy bar freak and now I haven't eaten one in two years and never crave them.  Another thing I do is give myself one cheat day a month.  I find if I have something to look forward to then it's easier to say no to the cake in front of me.  So if someone at work has chocolate chip cookies I will not have any and think to myself "don't have any of those cookies now...you will have some next week".  That works for me.  My May cheat day was last Friday and I had 6 cookies!!!  Yummy and I don't feel the least bit guilty because it's my cheat day and I lost weight this month and I deserve to treat myself.

As for the exercise...I'm not sure what your work/home schedule is like or how old your kids are but here are some suggestions.  If your kids are young than just going outside and playing with them can be cardio, just keep moving...no standing around or sitting.  You can even buy some leg weights and this will add to the calorie burning.  If your kids are too little for playing put them in a stroller and walk around your neighborhood.  If you are not very fit make it a couple times around the block and then next week do more.  If your kids are older, teen agers then they should understand the healthy changes you are trying to make in your life and ask them to join you in your walk.  As you get more fit you can add jogging.  So you walk for 5 minutes and then jog for 5 minutes...it's a great workout and doesn't need a gym.

Also, make sure you are going in for your fills if you need them. 

Either way you just have to make up your mind to make the changes necessary in your life to succeed.  I was in a rut last year and wasn't doing very well.  I hadn't lost weight in months.  I was eating things I wasn't supposed to and I didn't do any exercise.  Then I just decided to TRY.  It worked.  I have now lost a total of 150 lbs!!!!  I watch what I eat (but cheat on my cheat day) and I exercise about 9 hours a week.  It worked.  The weight I lost the motivated I become.  Now it's part of my life.  Good luck. 

"I find the longer I am away from these foods the easier they are to resist."  My thoughts exactly!  I have to completely abstain from bad carbs and sugar (all of the evil "C" words: cakes, cookies, candy, coke, etc.).  There is no "comfortable medium" when it comes to this.  For me, it's all or nothing (I pick nothing!).  When you do this, OMG I promise it gets so much easier as time goes on.  I no longer even think of those foods, much less as an option in my goal of a healthy lifestyle. Great post with very good advice!

To the original poster...you CAN do this!  Remember why you started this journey in the first place and go back to the basics for a while if you have to.  You have to create your own destiny...that is where your success lies - WITHIN.  Hugs...this too shall pass.

 I have to agree with this poster.  I found I have to abstain from these things totally.  Think of yourself as an addict. Like an alcoholic.  They can't even have one drink.  I can't even have one bite of ice cream..one piece of cake... Because I know I won't stop.  It took some time.  Yes.  But I don't even think of them as an option anymore. 

Hi, 

 I sometimes feel ashamed also.  Mostly when I go up on the scale.  I don't even want to see the doctor for a fill I am so imbarrassed.  The one thing I do keep up with is the gym.  I have 2 girls I go with to the.  I don't loose weight but, I try to keep in mind that atleast I go the gym.  Try to find ONE person you can rely on to work out with.  If you lived here I would have you come with us.  You need to have a push sometimes.  But, I am not one to talk because I am NOT losing and I do work out..... try to keep your spirits up and find that one person..

Hey Daisy- I'm in northern Jersey and I work in one of the hopsitals that Dr. Bertha does surgery in (I'm a nurse and the bariatric surgery coordinator at HNMC).  If you need someone- I'll try to help the best I can.  I'm a big runner/jogger.  That's what helped me lose the weight and avoid the temptations of sweets, sugars, and JUNK!  Also, have you gone to the support groups that Dr. Bertha's office has?  I know Tom, a big advocate for your surgeon's group is always available.  He is on the NJ forum here.... maybe message him too!  He's been there, done that also.  They also have their online support group.  Where are you staying now?  There are plenty of gyms in the Florham Park, NJ area... Retro Fitness and Plant Fitness are only $10/month if you can handle that, I say go for it!  Taking a walk or jog with the kids also is a great start to things.... also gives you time with them and catch up.

Take care and message me if you need anything!
Jan

Have you had a chance to review any of these great posts and suggestions?  Feedback to our posts is very much appreciated. :)

Hello everyone I just got a changes to see all the post thank you all so much for the advise. My mom computer is so old it takes about 10 to 15 min to start up lol. I love the idea of staying away. What I do now is I start yelling at myself when ever I have a craving my poor 5 year old thinks that I'm yelling at him lol. I had a talk with my sister and she said she will try to help me out but at the end on the day it fall on me and I have to remember why I got wls in the first please and that's to be healthy and fit to play with my boys. Again thank you so much to all.

That's great news!  I'm glad you had a good heart-to-heart with your sister...it never hurts to have immediate support around you. And yes, you have MUCH to get healthy for - most importantly, your boys!  Please keep posting updates when you can and let us know if you have any other questions, okay?

One day at a time, girl...GOOD LUCK with your new outlook on getting healthy.  I think it's wonderful. :)