New to the site. Looking for support not criticism

Regardless of what surgery people think is the better option or what their personal reasons are for not supporting your decisions does not matter..so shake it off, I mean they are just strangers on the Internet anyway..

FACT OF THE MATTER IS: Our Destination is all the same, People just use different routes to get there. When were all chillaxin at our destination together...nobody will care the road each other took to get there. We will just sit back and enjoy where we are.

Oh and Block the people who say otherwise!

Sorry you had that experience.. I had the same when I first started on here also and ended up blocking people. 

Surgery is a big step and I am glad you came here for help because we have had it.  Some of us had more luck with it then others so take whatever advice you get with a grain of salt, keep the stuff you think is helpful and ignore the hurtful.  

I had surgery in December and am still getting use to it.  I post questions on here looking for advice.  I get negative statements also like I am doing something wrong,  which amazes me because how do you really know whats right and wrong?  I just like to post problems and hope that anyone else who has been through will understand and give me their feedback on what helped them.. Thats all we can do is ask for help.  

So yes there are negative people on here .  Some like to judge and thats wrong.  I had weight loss surgery and one reason is because I am tired of being judged.  So ignore them, we were all in the same boat and no one is better then anyone else.  we were all fat people. plain and simple. lol    Good luck to you.

I don't understand why people attack innocent newcomers with such vehemence. I doubt they would act that way if you were face to face with them. Internet anonymity seems to turn some people into raging warriors. Their behavior towards you says more about them than it does about you...they're showing their "true" colors...or they don't have a life...or whatever.

On the whole, members tend to post more often when they're struggling, having problems, or have an axe to grind than they do when they're doing fine and busy with a healthy new life. So the noisy, disagreeable ones seem to outnumber the rest of us, but the rest of us are kind, considerate, helpful and supportive people. Some of the rest of us are shy about posting, but I assure you they're out there reading your posts and thinking, "Oh, I know just what she means."

I encourage you to go on posting your questions and comments on the forum, because at least some of the answers could help you - and could help other members who are reading them. Block the disagreeable people so you can't see their antics and they can't see your posts and interfere with them. And if you have a question that you're just too nervous about posting on the forum, send a PM to me or any other member who strikes you as approachable and helpful. We'll do our best to answer your questions or send you in the right direction to find the answers.

Jean

Wow! it seems like you've gotten some fabulous supportive feedback with this post.  Consider me one of your supporters.  You know in your heart you have to do what's best for you and nobody else. 

" However, since joining this site I have had people saying really mean things to me on here. Telling me that I must not care too much about my body or else I wouldn't be getting such a horrible surgery. And many other hurtful things."

I'm confused by something and maybe you could help me understand. I just looked through every single one of your post's on the main forum and this one intro post and I didn't see anywhere on OH where someone was mean and said hurtful things to you.

Where exactly are those post's ?

"I'm confused by something and maybe you could help me understand. I just looked through every single one of your post's on the main forum and this one intro post and I didn't see anywhere on OH where someone was mean and said hurtful things to you.

Where exactly are those post's ?"


Pumkin, why do you assume she was referring to posts?  It is unfortunately quite common for new members to get "targeted" by PM's .   This didn't happen to me because I only joined this forum the night before my surgery...so there wasn't enough time to amass the troops.
Just trying to offer a different perspective here.....

I'm assuming it was by post's because she said,

" I have posted a few messages on the forums, and it seems that some people just want to criticize me. Rather than support my decision."

I looked all over OH to find out who and what she was referring to and I can't find anything. That doesn't mean I didn't miss it somewhere. Which is why I asked her where the post's in question are.

I bet they were PMs. I get PMs about posts and some are nasty. I read them and hope to find something useful and move on.  I did want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. I try to remember taht I am sure the people mean well because from their experience they want to save us from the same thing. That being said. I do plan to still get the band in June and I have changed my mind so many times. I still read the good, the bad, and the ugly because I like to be informed. Try not to let anyone chase you away.

They were sent as messages. Sorry I didn't put that in my post. I didn't think it would make a difference whether they were sent through the forum or whether they were sent to my inbox. I did block the person because they weren't giving me negative information they were just being mean. I do welcome personal opinions, shared stories, or whatever advice people have regarding the surgery. However, I think in the end it is up to me what surgery I get. I would like to know all the positive and negative sides to the surgery as long as it is presented in a civil matter. When people send me messages just to inform me of how wrong it is to put a foreign object in my body I think that's a little rude. Or how I must not care about my body by choosing to get the lap-band surgery. I'm sorry that you had to post on here so many times pumpkin just to get a response from me. I didn't know that people were still commenting on this post.

As for everyone else I thank you for replying to my post in a positive tone  I'm just such a shy person that  I find it hard to speak to others about my weight loss journey, or my decision to have weight loss surgery. I think that the internet is a great support system for me. I can speak to others, get information, and have support without having to make myself uncomfortable speaking about it. And in my experience people aren't too understanding about weight problems if they have not experienced it themselves. I know not all people are like that, but the people I have encountered are. I have an appointment this week to get some bloodwork done & to me some of the staff who are involved in the process. I am nervous but at the same time happier to be one step closer to getting the surgery.

Sooo did anyone have any exercise or diet routines they tried prior to the surgery that helped to start the weight loss? Just wondering.