Banded 12-08 and in need of help

For those of you just beginning do not read this and get discouraged, as a matter of fact, don't read it...everyone is different and MANY people do extremely well with the band...that being said...
I am struggling, but it's due to a lot of issues going on.
I had some fluid removed in Nov. of 2010. I was having a lot of stress going on, going through Divorce, dealing with Parents disabilities and being the only one around to help them, having 4 fab. boys to take care of, trying to figure out monies (or lack of lol) and being a full time student in College...so Doc. decided it was best to take out a bit of fluid, here is the thing, he didn't take out a ton of fluid, I honestly can't remember how much now, but it didn't seem like a lot, but by the time I went for the fluid removal I was already on a road of bad eating habits as I couldn't eat much protien. Once my Divorce was final, I lost my Ins. I do not have the money to go have fluid put back in and have gained from 208 back up to the 230's since removal. My band hasn't totally worked for me anyway, they say I was a success, but I feel much like a failure.  I began my journey at 298 and I lost to 267 on my own during the 6 mos. diet before hand, it took me until summer of 2010 to get to 220 and then depression helped me get to 208 and obviously that turned around and became eating...If I had Ins. I'd look into revision, since I do not, I need some motivation, some inspiration and some advice if you can offer any.
Here are the things I am currently working on and KNOW that I needed to change, water consumption, I have really laxed on that, with winter comes too much coffee (sugar free creamer tho) for some time when my stress levels were super high, I wasn't able to eat protien (meat) so I began eating more vegs. and salads and such, and haven't been able to incorp. as much protien that's needed, I did try to have prot. every a.m. by having prot. shakes again. I feel always hungry, munchy even...
Also, with exercise, I am so very busy that mostly I am stuck on a computer all day, with household chores and such I feel so exhausted...I KNOW I need to get out there and at least walk, in all honesty, it's the last thing I feel like doing...
If you have some encouragement, of any kind please let me know. I am at a point of tossing in the towel...I am just too tired to care...I wish you all the best and always hope everyone is doing better than me!! Take care.
Jen M.

Jen,

I'm sorry you've had such a rough time, both personally and with the band.  Why don't you start with a very small step or two and perhaps it won't seem so overwhelming.  For instance, choose water to work on for 2-4 weeks, and only when you feel like you have comfortably reinforced that good habit, add another.  I don't have alot of time to excercies either because I have young children and a full-time job outside the home as well.  I take a 30 fast walk at lunch every day.  It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing and it doesn't impact time I spend with my family.

Things will turn around, just try not to take on everything at once.

Jen,

I agree with Tarris. Take one thing at a time. You already have a ton of stuff to deal with, without adding another long list of things to do.

How much would a fill cost? How about you write "fill" on an envelope and stick a few bucks in there as often as you can. Eventually it will add up to enough for a fill, and the very existence of that little envelope savings plan can make you feel more hopeful about the future.

And quit kicking yourself. Anyone would struggle in your situation.

Jean

Was going to reply...but to tell the truth, Jean hit it right on the head about the envelope and the suggestions from others to set up simple exercise program you can live with for now and build on its a wonderful idea.

Something else you can do....small though it might seem...any time you get frustrated drop a note here and we will cheer you on!  You can even send one to me personally if you need :)  I believe in you and support you :)

just keep swimming,
Swoosh :)

Good morning Jen,

I'm so sorry about all the hurt and pain you've been going through.  I want you to think of this as a new beginning.  It's not going to be easy, but just take it one day at a time and one goal at a time.  You have to put yourself first.  I'm married with children and for so many years I gave excuse after excuse for not taking care of myself.  In the end, my family was the loser.  Now that I'm taking care of myself I'm able to be a better mom, wife, and employee.  Never discount the benefit your entire life will experience from taking care of yourself.  Start with eating: I do low carb, because my body is so addicted to carbs (I eat everything in sight).  I always immediately start to feel better when I do this.  Definitely incorporate water during this process.  Once you get a handle on your eating you will have more energy to get out and exercise.  Don't give up, you are too important for that. 

Keep us updated on your progress and let us know if there is anything else we can do!

I agree take some baby steps and at least start working on one thing at a time and by changing that one thing you will see a difference and that will make you and you will want to start changing other things in your life also :o)

As far as exercise I cant lose weight if I dont exercise it dont matter how good I eat, how much I cut calories or carbs no exercise no weight loss .

Why dont you take the kids out and do a family walk the kids will enjoy that and you are spending time with your children and getting your exercise in at the same time :o) 

I know  how tired you can be after working all day but its just something that has to be done and once you start making a routine out of it, it will be a habit and you dont think twice about it anymore .

It dont even have to be a long walk even if its just 20 min at a brisk pace that is better then nothing and when you have time and feel more energy at more time to it :o)

Or get a fun dance video and workout like that with your kids :o) I know when I was doing exercises my son loved to dance with me and that made it fun and I could keep a eye out on him at the same time we made a game out of it and that is another good way to spend some time with the kids and working out the same time :o)

Instead of fixing dinner every night make enough for leftovers that way you dont have to cook dinner and try to get exercise in at the same time :o)

When I cook dinner I always make enough for lunch the next day and even dinner the next night also .  It saves a bunch of time because my exercise classes are at 6 pm every night so I need to make it quick.

You can do this just take baby steps and get yourself back on track .  Its not easy but it can be done :o)

Jen, you have received some very good advice already, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  This happened to me, also, losing a spouse, my house and my two dogs.....among other stresses.  I also had a slip and didn't have restriction for a long time.  I turned to bad comfort foods and regained a total of 40 lbs. 

It has taken me a long time to turn the ship around.....and you will too once you are ready!!

On May 16, 2011 at 8:48 AM Pacific Time, melly37 wrote:

Jen, you have received some very good advice already, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  This happened to me, also, losing a spouse, my house and my two dogs.....among other stresses.  I also had a slip and didn't have restriction for a long time.  I turned to bad comfort foods and regained a total of 40 lbs. 

It has taken me a long time to turn the ship around.....and you will too once you are ready!!

Melly~

What was it that finally made you turn the ship around? I am gaining weight back and have only lost 50lbs in the first place. Its like my emotional eating is more important than losing weight right now. Very frustrated and too embarresed to go back to my clinic.

One of my visits to my surgeon, I bawled like a baby!!!  I was so ashamed, so frustrated and so depressed.  He gave me a bigger fill that time.  ha ha ha!

Seriously though, what finally clicked with me this year was for SOME things to settle down and for me to decide to love ME and to quit punishing ME for the bad things happening to ME.  Life was throwing me some rotten tomatoes and I wasn't doing anything but catching them and then trying to throw them even harder at myself.  Not good.

Emotional eating and not exercising was NOT helping me.  I was hating myself.  WHY? Wasn't life hard enough without me hating ME?  

I hope the ship turns around and you are able to start loving yourself enough to do what you need to do.  I am always here if you need to talk!

I was the same way.  I didn't have enough fluid in my band to keep me satisfied and was cheating like crazy.  On top of that I wasn't exercising either.  I wasn't losing any weight and I was becoming frustrated and depressed.  I too questioned my decision to get the band.
 
Eventually I got my act together.  I do not lose weight without exercise.  I am not one of those amazing people that can do nothing or the bare minimum of exercise once in awhile and get results.  I started to exercise daily and I started to lose weight.  The more weight I lost the motivated I became.  I wanted to workout more and eat right.  I educated myself on nutrition and fitness and changed my attitude and lifestyle.  I started out slow and it snowballed.  I have now lost 150 lbs.

The only advice I can give you is that for your boys sakes you will need to concentrate on yourself for 30-60 minutes a day.  I know it's easy to get side track with life and get too busy to eat right and workout.  But remember your boys need you healthy and happy so giving yourself time to take care of yourself is also taking care of them too.  I know exercise isn't fun and till this day I have to drag myself to the gym.  It does get easier and as you lose the weight you will have more energy and feel better...which in turn will make it easier for you to work out more. 

Good luck.