my head is not in it... but my heart is... its soooo hard!

I can literally talk myself in and out of being a warrior in this fight to lose weight on an hourly basis. One minute I am eager and ready to plow through and do what it takes and the next minute I cannot resist the most basic of temptation and justify every action i take that is contrary to my desire to lose weight.

My band is barely working. I only very occasionally feel satisfaction after eating small amounts. I feel fuller faster in the morning but am not a morning eater...I know... that in and of itself is a problem.

I felt good after my first fill. I have a second fill next week... one week actually.

I am not doing my part, this i know... its adjustment of attitude... of will...

Its not an easy path... this band... im just craving my sweet spot. (like my play on words???)

I just keep screwing up.

anwyays... just a rant to get my frustration off my chest

thanks for listening!

I know it can be frustrating and you want to give up, but with the band, you can always get back on track.
It is a JOURNEY. There will be blocks in your road but you will learn the way and it will get better, then worse, then better. You will figure it out as you go. Keep the faith and patience.

Sometimes we just are ready for change.. band or notband.. doesn't matter change has to happen. To say I had this surgery so I can eat 5 bites of a burger instead of the whole burger isn't really the point.. but is 5 bites better than the whole.. well yes but then we are faced with calories in vs. calories. out.. so it's always a YO YO 

When I gained 20 pounds back because of mourning .. I ate food and indulged because it was easy it was easy to sit there and eat cheetos then bake a chicken breast. I just lost my dad I can eat this cheetos.. I deserve these cheetos..

I never asked did I need these cheetos.. because hello I know I didn't. But finally I was done with the eating... I was done with eating junk.. I didn't just miracoulsy change from one day to the next.. first I stopped eating junk then I started watching what I ate then I began to exercise.. it took me about 6 weeks to recover from two solids months of consuming a good amount of junk food.
Just because we had surgery it doesn't mean we change automatically so don't feel bad.. it takes a little time and adjusting.. when you get another fill that just might be the tweek you need

Good Luck.